Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Recipe for Disaster


"Do you really think this will work?" Dex asked as he gazed into the strange brown mixture in the bowl.

"That's what we're trying to find out. Whether this makes werewolf venom or cheesecake!" I exclaimed as my eyes glazed over the recipe in the ancient cookbook I had placed on the counter.

"But Robby! Mom said we're not allowed to cook! We'll get in big trouble!"

"Oh, stop whining and toss in those bacon bits."

Bacon bits? Wait a second, bacon bits? Did this recipe just tell me to sprinkle bacon bits into a cake mix? I read the ingredients list again, and then reread the instructions. Yep, I was supposed to add bacon bits. Even if this wasn't werewolf venom, it certainly wouldn't end up being cheesecake.

I speed read the remainder of the recipe and slammed the book shut. My eyes danced across the prismatic letters that formed the title: Edward Hancook's Recipes for Undesired Guests. The words glimmered like iridescent crystals embedded within the scarlet cover of the book. It was more beautiful to me then you could ever imagine.

"AHH! ROBBY! SOMETHING'S HAPPENING!" Dex shrieked and I turned to find him pointing into the mixing bowl.

I glanced into the bowl to see what Dex was going on about. He had every right to be freaked out. The brown mass inside the bowl had begun to wiggle and stir. It bounced about like some kind of animate gelatin. I grabbed up the cookbook and flipped open to the werewolf recipe. There it was, all I had to do was continue mixing. I grabbed the mixing spoon, hesitated, then smashed the glop. Mixing it was easier then I thought, the mixture was fairly flaccid.

"Come on," I said, turning to Dex, "Aunt Faye's dessert is ready."