Thursday, October 17, 2013

Who Is Dr. Mario?

It is commonly assumed that the one and only Dr. Mario is none-other than Super Mario donning yet another suit to combat yet another threat--in this case, the Viruses. No individual has ever disputed this fact. Dr. Mario looks, sounds, and acts like Mario, is aided by the lovely Nurse Toadstool (supposedly Princess Peach), and is referred to as one of Mario's many aliases in his trophy from Super Smash Bros. Melee. Yet, even that trophy mentions that it should be impossible for Mario to have found the time to go to college between his many other careers and his new, very busy life as a hero.

Though I must say, all those gold coins could probably put him through any course he desired.

There is something interesting at work here, however. In the Super Mario Bros. film, it is revealed that Mario and Luigi's last names are "Mario", making Mario's name quite literally "Mario Mario". While silly, this has been somewhat canonized in a number of related materials and is a generally accepted fact by all those who aren't named "Miyamoto". Regardless, this is why the plumbers go by the "Mario Bros." and not the "Spinelli Bros." or whatever.

Interesting thing about doctors: they also go by surnames.

Interesting thing about Mario: lots of people look like him.


That is the Seaside King, and I'll be talking about him a lot more in coming posts. For now, he will play only a trivial role. He looks awfully familiar, doesn't he? Almost like he could be Mario's other brother, or a close cousin, or a father or something. Now, by the naming scheme found most frequently throughout the Mushroom Kingdom, this guy's name should be "King Human" or "King Italian", something along those lines. The Mushroom Kings, though, are never given proper names, so we're left with only his territory and his physical attributes to go by.

And with the Mushroom Kingdom proper to refer to royalty by their last name (with some exceptions for more benevolent leaders), I will assume his name to be "King Mario of Seaside". It is quite likely that King Mario here has children, most of whom would currently share the "Mario" surname. Say one of his children decides: "I don't want to be a king, I want to help people more directly. I want to bring peace to my kingdom through more practical means. I want to be a doctor!" Well, we'd call that guy "Dr. Mario", now wouldn't we?

Sharing the genetics of King Mario there, it's a safe bet that the medically-minded monarch would bare a resemblance to his father. Which, of course, our certain doctor most certainly does.


It would also make sense for a royal doctor to be assisted by an equal royal nurse, doesn't it? Little is known about Princess Peach's family, but the good doctor's lovely lady has never once been addressed as "Nurse Peach", only "Nurse Toadstool". Common knowledge indicates that "Toadstool" is Peach's family name. Could it be that she has a younger sister practicing medicine in far-off lands with a royal, robustly 'stached lover?

Ah yes, the perfect union! The ruler of the Mushroom Kingdom proper marries her sister off to the son of the Seaside Kingdom. Together the pair perform emergency miracles while, perhaps more important to the power-thirsty Princess Peach, bringing yet another land into the fungal fold.

The greatest oddity of the Mario mythos... and perhaps the greatest political checkmate in Mushroom history.

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