Who is the Father of Huey, Dewey, and Louie?

Donald's delinquent nephews are among Disney's most popular characters... arguably even more renowned than their dear unca'! Despite their 75-year history and frequent starring roles, the trio has remained something of an enigma. They are constantly shipped from relative to relative, bringing to wherever they go a series of unfortunate events--events which typically see them removed from their brief bedplace. In all this time, you'd think an explanation would be given as to just who their father is and what he's up to that has left his three children relatively homeless. The most I can find (and we, the human race, have done extensive research on the topic of cartoon ducks) is that their mother is Della Duck (a character who has seemingly been dropped from canon) and that they once hospitalized their father with firecrackers. Other than these brief instances, we have no clues as to the history and family of these poor poultries.

Actually, I think I know the answer.

The nephews' father is never seen because he is no longer of that earth. I'm not saying he's dead, mind you, just that he isn't around any more. Before I get into that, though, I'm going to characterize Della in ways which make sense to me:

She is not seen with her children because she is a mentally unstable drunk currently housed in a rehabilitation clinic. This is not evidenced by any sort of canon, but it makes some sense with the history I am about to bestow upon her.

Back to the father: his name is Howard. Howard the Duck. That's right, Marvel Comic's infamous fowl is actually the father of Disney's triumphant trio. Yes, I am saying this simply because of somewhat recent business acquisitions. Those business acquisitions, however, provide simple solutions to a great many plot holes on both sides of the equation. Howard the Duck is the unseen father of Huey, Dewey, and Loie--unseen, because he currently resides in a completely different dimension. Della, having witnessed Howard's interdimensional abduction, has become stark raving mad since.

This makes sense in a couple of other ways as well. Howard originally appears very similarly to Donald and his extended family, so much so that Disney actually sued Marvel (which is probably responsible for the shitty "real" duck body Howard's soul currently inhabits). Howard's home world "Duck World" is inconsistently shown as a world inhabited only by ducks and a world inhabited by many different anthropomorphic species. This falls right in line with Disney's "Duckverse", which is supposedly only inhabited by ducks despite being a spin-off of the Mickey Mouse franchise... oh, and there are also occasionally non-ducks shown.

It makes perfect sense that the Disney-looking duck character would be pulled out of the Disney-created Duck World, and it definitely fills in the holes for the nephews.

I demand this storyline. I demand it now! I also demand Disney's Hercules versus Marvel's Hercules.

Do it Disval. Do it now!

The Spongebob Squarepants Movie (GBA) DS Inserts

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Animation Review: Batman: Mystery of the Batwoman (2003)

Batman: Mystery of the Batwoman takes place shortly after the highly acclaimed Batman: The Animated Series (more specifically: The New Batman Adventures) and presumably before Justice League, but within the DC Animated Universe of fantastic cartoons which graced the airwaves in the early 90's through the mid 2000's. As amazing as that line of cartoons is, this film is a cut above most of it. Despite being a short one hour and eleven minutes, Mystery of the Batwoman serves up everything an animated movie needs, with all the trimmings.

I really can't find much fault with this movie. Sure, Batwoman isn't Kate Kane, but that really doesn't matter one bit. The only negative aspects that stick out to me are Bane's design and the weirdly animated waddle of Kathy Duqusne in her introductory scene, where we are left to assume that her legs are made out of snakes upon which she perches with all the balance of a toddler on a tight rope. Other than those two things, both of which can be overlooked, there isn't a whole lot of fault. In fact, the film is downright perfect.

The musical score is simply brilliant, although I'm rarely ever a fan of the "Real songs" interjected in animated media. The majority of the soundtrack is all wonderful and original orchestration, but the one or two "Real songs" utilized fit their scenes perfectly and aren't out of place at all. I can imagine the target audience, young boys, to be somewhat embarrassed about the inclusion of the lady-centric songs, but they really don't drag down the film down at all. I'm actually surprised that there was never a release of the film's soundtrack, because it's something I would have purchased immediately after viewing. Of particular note is a score which plays in Batwoman's early sequences, which sounds remarkably like something out of Kingdom Hearts and reminded me of the Hollow Bastion BGM, a track which I absolutely love and which definitely sets an elegantly sinister tone.

Batman's faithful companion, Robin (Tim Drake), does play a supporting role in the film, although his presence is relatively minor and I feel that even Alfred had a larger plot to play in the grand scheme of things. This isn't a bad thing. While Robin can be awesome character, there is a time and a place for him, and this story really isn't it. This is a Batman story, and I think it probably could have benefited from having even less of Robin that it did. It definitely could have done without the two minute cameo of Barbara Gordon, whose inclusion was merely to tie the film to the DCAU and contributed nothing to the plot (a fact which greatly annoyed me, as I was hoping for a little Batwoman vs. Batgirl, and the tease without payoff was simply a waste of time).

Batman: Mystery of the Batwoman plays up all the greatest strengths of the Batman character, living up to the "Mystery" in its title and putting the emphasis on detective work with a generous amount of action. In trying to keep the mystery and story a fresh one, the film introduces a number of new characters as suspects as well as a number of supporting characters to follow them around. Of particular note is the Duquesne crime family, fathered by Carlton Duqusne, a powerful African-American gangster who's in league with the Penguin and Rupert Thorne. To my knowledge, Duquesne has not appeared in media outside of this film, which is a shame. Despite being a relatively typical "Kingpin"-flavored character, I could see Duquesne easily climbing his way up the ranks of Batman's more notorious and dangerously sane roster. If there's no place for him there, we all know Red Hood is in dire need of a serious opponent.

All of the character's are portrayed naturally, with no glaring ickiness in the voice acting, which is something that is still common in American animation even today. The sound effects are all crystal clear and feel nicely weighted, adding to the tension and seriousness of their situations. Buildings don't simply crumble with the light shuffling of a few pebbles (something common in most animated series), but each tumbling boulder crashes with enough force to bump the bass in any sound system. Ah, I can only drool at the thought of watching this again with my subwoofer in place.

Although, if I may back up for a moment, there was one character interaction which felt a bit stilted to me. Here comes some major spoilers, which I normally don't worry about, but for this film it could seriously impact the entire experience. So that's your warning. When it is revealed that there is not one but three Batwomen we are of course treated to the mandatory scene where these women interact. To throw Bruce and ourselves off the trail, these three individuals have been shown to be very different (and all well-developed and solid) characters who would likely have nothing to do with one another: Kathy Duquesne is a fashion bug obsessed with hot guys and hotter trends, Roxanna Ballantine is a nerdy scientist with almost zero coordination (unless she needs it) and a thing for bad boys, and Sonia Alcana, the latest addition to Gotham PD, a promising detective with a tragic history of violence. You'd think these women wouldn't get along, and they don't. Despite somehow pulling off some of the greatest feats in Bat-History, these women, when together, are shown to be a completely disfunctional band of rogues who can barely hold it together, and their dialogue is glued with no stickier and adhesive. A little more touching up of the interaction between these girls would have made a world of difference, but ultimately their short "Evil Villain Scheming" sequence doesn't detract from the bigger picture, and still serves to keep the story coherent.

In short: this film has a few itsy bitsy flaws, but is otherwise flawless. The animation is superb, and modern day film teams could learn a thing or two from it (particularly on its ability to remain remarkably fluid, even while animating vehicles, without resorting to garish 3D models). I loved every second of this experience, and it's something I'm going to come back to again, and again, and again. Despite its errors, this ranks right up there with Under the Red Hood as far as I'm concerned, and way up there with the best of the best of movies, period. Ten out of ten, Batman. You've done it again.

Animation Review: Sonic the Hedgehog, Episode 01-01: Heads or Tails

Moving on with my Everything I Own Challenge, I've decided to begin watching the classic Sonic the Hedgehog animated series. Sometimes called Sonic SatAM, this series basically rocked my childhood. When I was a kid I watched the show, pranced around naked singing the song, collected the story books (I still have them, even), and spent hours searching high and low in the Sonic the Hedgehog genesis games for any sign of Princess Sally and her Freedom Fighters. Unfortunately the closest I ever got was Sonic Spinball, and, welp... Sonic Spinball.

This episode is actually the pilot episode for the series, and I guess some people would probably consider it episode "00", but I haven't seen an official source do so. It should also be noted that I am watching this episode via the Shout! Factory 2007 box set release, which has the episodes in a different order from Wikipedia. Wiki, however, lists the episodes by air date, so I'll just hope that they were aired out of order and that Shout! knew what they were doing when they put this collection together.

Right from the get-go I'm excited to get into this. Maybe it's because of nostalgia, but I want to say it's because of the rockin' intro sequence. "Fastest Thing Alive" should be a familiar tune to any 90's kid. Say otherwise? Not a 90's kid. We're then dumped out into Robotropolis where we find our arch-nemesis, Dr. Robotnik, and his snivelling sidekick Snively. Robotnik isn't nearly as fearsome in this episode as I know he's going to become later in the series, and he has a tendency to speak at length in rather boring monologue. The rather classic "My secret plan is this..." type villain, at least for this episode.

More engaging than Robotnik himself are his sidekicks, Cluck and Snively, who have a bit of a rivalry. While Cluck, a chicken-like robotic bird with a mean streak, proudly perches atop Robotnik's shoulder, being pampered like the pet he is, Snively is often denigrate by his uncle and is treated poorly even by the Swatbots, generic robotic minions designed to police the streets of Robotropolis. Snively often wears his emotions on his sleeve, although he manages to hide them from Dr. Robotnik. From this we see that he could be less than loyal to the callous creator.

The episode briefly introduces us to the Freedom Fighters, a ragtag group of resistance fighters attempting to win their kingdom back from Robotnik. While we are introduced to the half-robotic Bunnie Rabbot, the antsy Antoine D'Coolette, and the feisty Princess Sally Acorn we don't really get to know them. In particular Bunnie and Antoine are reserved for later development, though we get a glimpse of Bunnie's super strength. Princess Sally spends her short role in the episode flirting with Sonic and briefly leading an attack against a swarm of buzz bots, robotic bees capable of firing laser stings.

Of note for this episode, Princess Sally is pink as opposed to the brown of all other episodes. This coloration was also used for a few early issues of the Archie comic book series and for the final episode of The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog, a Christmas special called "Sonic Christmas Blast".

This episode focuses on Sonic, the titular hero, a spiny speed demon whose instincts are to juice first and jam later, and his pal Tails. The two share are much more brotherly relationship than they do in other Sonic media, and Tails is much more childish and naive than what modern fans might be used to. While Sonic is usually reckless and impatient he tones it down for his adopted brother, treating him kindly even in the most sticky of situations. Sonic isn't only Tails' big brother figure, though. At such a young age, Tails also needs a father, and there's a little sense that Sonic knows he has become the father figure in his young pal's life. Being young himself, though, Sonic isn't sure how to handle it. Above all, it seems, Sonic wants Tails to be happy, even if that means giving in and letting the little rascal tag along on a highly dangerous mission.

Something I thought was kind of cool about this episode was the way Tails rode around in Sonic's backpack. I don't really know why I liked that so much, but it gave me the warm fuzzies inside. This episode also shows off Tails' ability to fly by twisting his twin tails like a propeller, something I don't remember happening in any other episode of the series.

In addition to those two, Rotor the Walrus plays the third most important role. He's there in the beginning critiquing Sonic's guitar performance and helping to babysit the innocent Tails. Rotor's intellect isn't really demonstrated, although he is able to diagnose an issue with the Freedom Fighter's catapults in half the time it takes for Sally's computer to do the same. He's shown mainly as Sonic's best friend, although one who isn't all too fond of moving at super sonic speed.

Speaking of super sonic speed, one interesting touch is the distinctive boom sound as Sonic takes off. This indicates that he moves quickly enough to break the sound barrier, but more than that, the sound is a deep bass effect that really draws your attention. You might find yourself maybe distracted by two siblings across the room, but Sonic's boom will bring you right back.

The voice acting is okay at best. Most of the actors take a while to get used to, and Steve Urkel doesn't exactly make for a good action hero. Robotnik's voice is probably the best of the cast, with a cold metallic quality which will make you shiver. There was an instance near the end of the episode where Tails is being pursued by a buzz bomber and screaming for help in the most annoyingly cardboard of tones, with absolutely no emotion to the delivery at all. I found it grating, and it was unfortunately the second longest bit of dialogue in the episode. Bummer.

Sound effects other than voices, though, are all top notch. Everything from the sound of rubber shoes on wet mud roads to the clink and clank of robot soldiers and factory machines. The music is the best sounding stuff that will come out of your speakers, though, but that isn't by default. This show simply has a stunning soundtrack, and I'd love to get my fat fingers on it someday.

Backgrounds are detailed and pretty to look at, with a stark contrast between the fanciful Knothole Forest where the Freedom Fighters live and the dystopic Robotropolis built by Robotnik. There are some moments of awesome art and animation, but the characters seem to be drawn inconsistently and sometimes change size or shape from one frame to the next. They also animate choppily, sometimes pretty badly, but usually it isn't too bad and isn't much of a bother.

The story isn't particularly engaging, and is fairly typical Saturday morning fare. Robotnik plans to kill all the trees with an acid plant spray and reveal the location of the Freedom Fighters' hidden village, he reveals a pathetic hedgehog-hunting missile (it looks like a pencil with a hedgehog nose), Sonic stops him. Easy, peasy, get-into-the-series squeezy. There is one bit I liked a lot more than the rest of the episode, though. One bit of actual foreshadowing to prove that there is a bigger plan for this series. As Sonic and Tails rummage for parts in Robotropolis they run into Sonic's pet dog, Muttski. Now, Muttski was Sonic's pooch since they were both young, but when Robotnik invaded he was transformed into a robotic minion. While at first his programming forces him to attack Sonic and Tails, Muttski manages to briefly fight off his robotic processes and regain control of himself. This shows that Muttski is still in there and can still be saved, which means that there might be hope for the other roboticized Mobians as well.

In general, "Heads or Tails" isn't too impressive of an episode. It's part of an overall phenomenal series, but I'd be okay with never watching this specific episode again. I'll grant it a four out of ten, because it's not bad, but it's not good enough to warrant much else.

Animation Review: Next Avengers: Heroes of Tomorrow

Potential futures aren't a plot line alien to the Marvel Universe of comic books, video games, and films with popular arcs featuring X-Men's Cable or Bishop characters or the popular Marvel 2099 and MC2 line of books, and Marvel's 2008 animated adventure, Next Avengers: Heroes of Tomorrow, follows the trend.

Next Avengers doesn't bring anything particularly new to the table. Five children from the ages of about fifteen down through eight are raised as the chosen beacons of hope in a world under siege by the robot overlord Ultron. Oh, and these children just so happen to be the offspring of The Avengers, and as such they tend to have the abilities of both of their parents. Even the parents whose powers were the results of wearing the necessary costume.

Leading the charge is James Rogers, the oldest of the heroes and the son of Captain America and the Black Widow. The movie never comes right out and says it, but his actions imply that he has inherited the enhanced strength and agility of the super soldier serum that granted his father with superhuman powers. He is also armed with an energy dispenser that can generate solid constructs in the shape of Captain America's famous shield. These constructs can be generated to very large sizes and even removed from the generator and hurled as Frisbees, though they disappear after a short time.

Under his command is the youngest but the most technologically gifted, Henry Pym, Jr., who wears a suit that grants him the abilities of his parents, Giant Man and the Wasp. Typically he prefers to flutter around like a little pixie and blast people in the ears, but Pym is also shown as capable of growing to be as large as his father could. Pym is largely annoying, although that's his character. He isn't annoying in the accidental way that a lot of young characters tend to be, but annoying in the way that a lot of young children tend to be, and he often drives his adoptive siblings up a wall. While you definitely want to punch the little snot around, his interactions are solid and believable and there isn't a moment where you wish he wasn't in the film (which is more than you could say about his parents).

Torunn is the daughter of Thor the thunder god who was left in the care of Tony Stark to learn humility and compassion from the start as opposed to being trialed after growing into a giant walking poo like her father. Unfortunately it doesn't seem to have worked, as Torunn is just as brash as Thor ever was and believes herself to be an immortal and indestructible goddess who has little respect for her mortal companions or their earthly worries. Desperately wanting to be accepted by her father, Torunn wholly embraces all there is to being Asgardian, attempting even to incorporate Thor's Shakespearean dialect into her own words, though she is often forgetful of this and speaks with a much more modern dialect when not paying attention.

Of all the characters in the film, Torunn goes through the largest shift as a character. When the children arrive in Ultra City, the capital city of Ultron's growing empire, she charges recklessly into combat with the patrol bots under the false idea that she is invincible. Her self-constructed reality shatters to the ground after a laser blast torches her flesh and she realizes "Holy crap, this fucking hurts". From that point onward she completely abandons her go-get-'em attitude for a much more cowardly one where she insists that they cannot possibly defeat Ultron and turn tail and run. Torunn is probably my favorite character out of it all, but there are a few major issues with how quickly her personality changes (which happens more than once, spoiler).

Azari T'Challa is the son of the Black Panther, and appears to wear pieces of the classic Panther costume, so it can be assumed that his cat-like abilities come from that. He can also blast lightning and create electrical constructs, so I think it's fairly safe to assume that his mother is Storm, though this is never mentioned even once. He tries to be the voice of reason for the group, but is often overruled by James' cool directives, Torunn's rudeness, and Pym's eagerness. He shows the least development of all the young heroes, but there's a few hints that he doesn't feel as though he can follow in his father's footsteps.

These heroes are joined by Francis Barton, son of Hawkeye, who leads a Morlocks-styled group of survivors known as the Scavengers, an elderly Tony Stark, who raised them in an artificial environment in the Arctic Circle, and Vision's Head, which loses its reserve energies shortly after helping them escape from Ultron. Additionally they are confronted with their parents in the form of the Iron Avengers, which have all been corrupted by Ultron and become his minions. This is extremely predictable, as the ending battle results in each child fighting the respective robotic counterparts to their parents and acts a metaphor for growing up, proving to the children that they are capable of following in their parents' footsteps.

While the plot is all very generic--I mean, child of the famous hero has been done to death, and children of the famous heroes who have the combined abilities of both has been done even moreso--the movie excels at creating children who aren't stupid, daydreaming morons. Instead the characters all feel very real, which is a refreshing experience for the genre. Also refreshing is the fact that they do not overcome their challenges by dumb luck, but actually find some way out of sticky situations all on their own (with one exception which I will get to in a moment) . Granted, if they were a more rational group they would have never gotten into half of these situations to begin with. Woe is the angst-drive teen.

The exception to this rule is the penultimate conflict with Ultron, who would of course waste all of these little brats in an instant. They know this, Tony Stark knows this, everybody knows this. So what do they do? They find an elderly Hulk and make him do their dirty work. This resolution is getting tiresome, and the Marvel animated films have fallen back on it time and time again. It's also a huge let down when we see these characters developing for the entire film and these are the characters we want to see rising victoriously over the fried corpse of their cyborg foe. Instead we get treated to a savage-looking bearded side character ripping the robot in half, and that's it, end of the movie. Disappointing.

Another disappointment was the lack of surprise. The movie opens by showing us exactly who the Avengers were in the form of a bedtime story being told by Stark to the younger Next Avengers in the form of a fairy tale. Instead of referring to the heroes by name, Tony refers to each one as an archetype: the Soldier, the Knight, the Spy, the Pixie, the Giant, the King, the Ghost, the Archer, and the God. It is interesting to note that Tony does not tell the children about the Hulk, but I'll go ahead and designate him as "the Ogre".

Of course we expect to see the children for these heroes who are all mentioned, but what about children for the thousands of other heroes in the Marvel Universe? We don't ever get a chance to see an adult X-23 or Runaways, no mention of an older Spider-Man or possibly his daughter, no young Cable or Bishop. None of that. We get the children of the characters mentioned at the beginning of the movie, and that's all. Not even a student of Doctor Strange, who had a movie that takes place in the same continuity as this one (this movie is hinted at being related to the Ultimate Avengers films, which share elements with a Doctor Strange and Iron Man film. I do not know if Hulk Vs. also shares this continuity, but its my understanding that a number of Marvel features all exist within this universe).

While the story itself leaves much to be desired, the animation and art I found phenomenal. It's all very clean and smooth with a very definite Japanese influence (refusing to use "anime" is my new thing, because it's wrong) to the coloring and lines as well as some of the animation decisions. A lot of American animation has a very tough and heavy feel to it where everything is calm and subdued, almost like it's afraid to be too animated, while Japanese animation tends to be very vibrant with everything alive and kicking. Next Avengers has a bit of both, and it benefits from it. The environments are also really cool to look at and are painted with a phenomenal attention to detail. One scene where the art really stands out is the battle between Ultron and Iron Man toward the beginning of the film which colors the robots with deep shadows, an array of shades and shines and glares, brilliant lights. It's a spectacular moment of animation and art, and I'd watch this whole thing again just for that moment.

The voice acting is all pretty good. There isn't anything that will hurt your ears or that seems too out of character. It is a little surprising to see how old Tony Stark and Bruce Banner have become in twelve years time, and I think they portrayed them a couple of decades older than they should have been. This includes their voices, which are pretty old, raspy, and quiet, and it didn't feel right much at all.

On the note of Tony Stark, this isn't a Stark you'll recognize. This Stark has been changed by the duties of parenthood, and it has changed him very much. He is calm, rational, and above all responsible. He's a surprisingly good father for an alcoholic. Some people might not like this total shift in character, but I actually liked seeing how Tony finally grew up and what being a surrogate father has turned him into.

My biggest complaint with this film is one that I share with pretty much the entire line of Marvel animated films: it is too short and too fast. This film feels very much like it wants to rush through to the credits, and with only 75 minutes of animation, that doesn't take it very long to do. Because of this some characters are never properly explored, and some develop much too quickly. Torunn is almost a completely different character every other scene, and Azari doesn't develop at all. Adding an extra half hour to the film, putting it on par with most other animated endeavours, would have done much to improve it over all. This hyper fast trend in animation is something I've noticed in recent years, and it's something which bothers me greatly. The Nickelodeon series T.U.F.F. Puppy is a very solid example of what I'm getting at here, where the show doesn't ever sit to let the viewers take in what's going on and seems to hop around nonsensically from one thing to the next as a result.

Dear animation studios: viewers need a minute to digest things or they will not get the full effect.

The musical score is... completely unmemorable. I want to say it was fitting, and I want to say it wasn't, but I can't because I don't remember it. At all. Bummer.

Overall I enjoyed the movie. It's not great, it's not bad, it's better than okay. I'll say it's good. I like the characters, and the film left me wanting more of them, so that's always a good way to gauge a story. If you want more of it, it was probably good. I do wish Marvel would create a tie-in comic book to explore the transitional period from Ultron's reign back into regular human society and how the Next Avengers deal with being superheroes in this morphing urban environment. I think it could be really cool, and these characters themselves are all too cool to waste.

Seven out of Ten for the good film that isn't great!