Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Conversing Is Not Links

Some people seem to have this inability to actually have a conversation with somebody else. This is something I've noticed more on the internet, but it does seem to plague some people in real life as well. Now, I'm not talking about being socially awkward and just not quite sure how to talk or which words to use or just not having anything interesting to say. Oh no, I can excuse most, if not all, of that. No, what I'm talking about are people who just can't go two sentences without sharing you a YouTube video or their usually bland 4chan lulzpic.

During the average day I'm on the computer something like an unimaginably unhealthy amount of ten to eleven hours. Sure, a fair amount of what I'm doing is forums, IMs, nonsensical wiki searches, but more than half of those hours are spent typing manuscripts, researching for manuscripts, or working on this blog. I can spare some time to chat with you, and I might even click a few relevant links that you feel could add to the conversation, but I am not going to sit there and smile happily as you do nothing but send me link after link after damn link. It's obnoxious, it slows down my computer, and it makes me think you're some kind of semi-biological spambot and not a person.

What bothers me more is how some people will interrupt the flow of their own conversation just to start sending you every issue of a webcomic they find the least bit humorous. Why? Are you suddenly bored with the conversation that you started?

Typically the people who do this also don't seem to have any real interest in conversing at all, or so it seems. They say what they need to say, or what they feel compelled to need to say, and simply don't acknowledge your response or simply answer back "Huh" before pulling out the ol' link barrage or saying something so completely out of the blue that you're left scrambling up and down your scroll bar trying to find any mention of anything that could even be remotely related to what was just said.

You might think this problem exists solely in the realm of instant messaging and internet forums, right? Wrong. The internet is so ingrained into our very minds that halfway into a legitimate, mouth-to-mouth conversation somebody will probably have to stop the entire flow of everything being said because "I have to show you guys this awesome video of a dude biking into a lake." Okay, it's impressive and all, but how does it relate to Transformers 2 sucking total balls? Don't you dare start Googling for comparison pics between old designs and movie designs, because that's even more annoying.

It's just so damn ridiculous that you can't have a conversation without some form of digital prop, and you can't end one without being a sidetracking dickwad. I want everyone who reads this to do me a favor and on a Monday half-a-year from now participate in what I am now calling "No Links Day." On No Links Day, which I swear will become a national holiday, you are going to do the world a favor and not post or send any links at all whatsoever. This includes file transfers, because those are just as damn annoying.

No Links Day is on Facebook!

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