Meebo, AIM, Yahoo! I've Got No Friends

For the past decade - or is it two at this point? - instant messengers have discreetly made themselves known in roughly every high-traffic server and have not-so-discreetly broadened the social lives of everybody on this side of the world and the other one, too. They're easier to understand than the static muffles of a phone conversation, and the anonymity leaves most individuals rather shameless, which are probably also both reasons why the texting trend has exploded despite the fact that phones were originally intended for, y'know, sound. If you want a third reason, look into the concept of having fifteen different conversations at once.

Also, you can finally talk to this chick without getting thrown in a dumpster!

I, like thirty-million other people, have used AIM pretty near religiously for most of my not-so-long life. And by that I mean, more than half of my-not-so-long life. The first time I can remember signing up for a screen name was actually my own AOL account way back when that asshole of an ISP was on its sixth version. What was my wonderfully crafted and obviously ingenious username, I hear you all asking? Rideryoshi. I'm the origin of badass.

Thing is, I made that account when I was eight, and back then it made me feel like a total badass. While I had to ask all of my "friends" usernames if it was them or their parent before engaging in some hardcore Luigi-is-in-Mario-64 conspiracy theories, everybody knew that when Rideryoshi was on, it was Nate and just Nate and there were no ifs, ands, or buts. Well, not until I discovered internet porn.

It made me feel like I was on top of the world, so much so that I would make something like twenty-seven different screen names before I was twelve. Most of these were variants of my Kriven Raven persona, or some weird worship of a couple on Teen Titans.

XOxoJyborgxoXO: Jinx & Cyborg 4eva kawaii!!!!11!

Eventually I began to calm my screen name making hormones and settled on one that I would universally use on AIM, MSN, and Yahoo! alike. No, I won't let you know what it is. Alright, I will, since I don't use it anymore: CrowAzerath. Yeah. I was still rocking the Titans. But still, like everybody else, I felt that I had a social life, because, shit, I was talking to people all day everyday and nothing was going to stop me. Not my mom, not my dad, not my cat. He just restarted the computer every fifteen seconds.

This illusion has been with me for most of my life. Why the hell do I need to go outside when I can just sit here and talk with all of my friends at once? And some of these friends don't even need to know I'm friends with other friends. What's that, cliques? Am I kicking your ass? Alright!

But then I realized something. I didn't have a goddamn social life. I was (IE: am) sitting in front of a computer, all day, getting fat, and having no friends, connections, good memories, or childhood to show for it. Half of the people I was talking to didn't know my name, let alone give a rats ass about learning it, and of the other half almost none wanted to associate with me in the halls... or the cafeteria... or the detention room...

To put it bluntly, I was a loser with a raging case of never-met-a-girlitis. Then again, everyone else must have been too, because we all just sat there whittling our Saturdays away writing novels about how much Megaman could kick Sonic's ass. Man, I wish I could still write novels.

Guys, put Obama down! I found the Antichrist!

This is all really the point I'm getting at. Everyone seems to think that they have this massive number of friends and a social life more raging than herpes all because of the number of contacts on their AIM list or the number of "friends" they have on FaceBook when the reality of the situation is that having a larger number on either of these means you probably have very little of a life at all.

I'm not sure who continues to perpetuate these facts, but I'm seeing more and more people shy away from the outside world in favor of gossiping all day on the ol' AIM, or sometimes Meebo, and this is a problem. Now, I'm not going to tell you all not to chat, because I would probably kill myself if I tried to do that, but if you're going to chat, do it responsibly. And admit to yourself that you're a friendless loser.

My Little Teacup of Confusion and Guilty Pleasure

So earlier tonight I was sitting in my room, not-so-silently having a bit of a panic attack over stuff that shouldn't be inducing panic attacks, when my friend presented me with the following question:

"Have you heard of the term "bronys?""

Almost jokingly I replied by asking if that was some type of pony. At first I thought my response to be completely off the mark, as we had previously been discussing RSS feeds and Tumblr and other various blog-related boring things. I was under the impression that a "brony" was going to be some kind of directory or utility. Nope. Turns out I nearly hit the mark!

So while I was never quite told what a "brony" was, I was told of a very strange and mysterious show taking college dorms by storm. Particularly the dorms of twenty-something males. This show is not at all what you would expect it to be. There are no talking blue jays, no shape shifting dogs, no psychic boxes of French fries, and no cross-dressing alien hermaphrodites. No, what this show has is:

PONIES!

That's right. I was surprised to find myself face to face with the brand new reimagining of yet another toy brand franchise spin-off, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Now, like you, I was beyond baffled by the sudden turn in topic. Of course I'd heard good things about the show on various message boards, and had recently been thinking about ti in the middle of English class for no real reason at all, so perhaps this was some cleverly disguised form of diving intervention.

At first I was thinking "you're kidding, right?" I continued to think such poor, uneducated thoughts as my friend sent me a YouTube hyperlink. Hesitantly I dragged my mouse over to the gaggle of glowing letters and lowered my volume just incase the unmistakably embarrassing theme song decided to ring out through my home. One last boggling moment before I clicked the link and was greeted with...

And that clip will be with me FOREVER. If it doesn't do the same to you, you might want to check into your local asylum, because you have no soul. I wasn't quite sure why, and to tell you the truth, I'm still baffled as all hell, but that clip was one of the single most enjoyable clips I've ever had the pleasure grace my computer screen. Out of some newfound curiosity, or perhaps visually administered nicotine, I looked up the first episode.

The first episode is largely an introduction to the series and introduces what I assume will be the core cast as well as our heroine, Twilight Sparkle, the semi-gothic inspired pony who reminds me way too much of Princess Azula. I swear she secretly plots to burn all of Equestria into a very fine pixie powder. She also seems to be some furry version of Stocking, which is one-hundred percent okay in my book. Of course, we all know how that turned out.

While the episode felt overly childish, or perhaps I'm still being far too unwilling to fully accept that I enjoyed it, it was an over-all nice experience. There are funny moments, and there are moments that will make you blush from the sheer corniness of it all. And to be fair, the target audience is about sixteen years younger than I am, so let's be putting this all into perspective. People who enjoyed Dragon Tales as a child will definitely find My Little Pony to be a good, or at least amusing, watch as it really feels like a modern take of Dragon Tales.

Take three parts Dragon Tales, one part Powerpuff Girls, and one part Adventure Time and you get My Little Pony in a nutshell. Well if you want the shell, you need a nut.

But I hope you get the picture. Not all of the characters are likeable, nor do they even feel needed (I'm looking at you, Rarity) so the show does feel a little cluttered at first. I'm also not too sure how I feel about Spike the dragon at this point, as he just feels totally out of place, but I'm assured it will make sense soon enough. The other characters, however, are all really well characterized and feel like part of a tightly woven cloth. As friends I talk to on AIM can attest, although I will continue to claim they are on drugs, I have already changed my buddy icon to Fluttershy, because she's adorable.

There's really no better way to describe it.

The only kind of gimmicky quirk the show has, thus far, is the tendency to replace words like "everybody" with "everypony" which feels a lot like the Smurf's habit of putting their name in front of every other word. It really isn't that frequent, however, and can probably be overlooked.

My end verdict of the night is that if you haven't gotten over yourself by now, you're committing a great disservice to you and everypony around you. Get your bald scalp out of your butt and watch My Little Pony. You won't regret it.



Seriously, she's adorable.

Do You Like Free Books? I Like Free Books.

Oh, books, you lovely, paper-filled, unfortunately going out-of-style, leather bound compilations of stories, poems, myths, legends, and byzantine number problems. How I've missed you so much more now that the economy has driven you from my home. Your presence was once plentiful, now it is seldom.

For those of you who, like myself, enjoy reading but due to the closing gap between the labels "USA" and "CAN" on the back cover are no longer able to enjoy any form of story, be it trash fantasy or otherwise, there is a marvelous solution! Breadline Books is a blog hosted by a wonderful chap who wants to make books available for anybody who has the desire to read.

It's really a simple thing. Each month you send off an e-mail with a link to a book you want, and if you're one of two lucky blokes who happen never to sleep, you're going to get your book. By the miraculous actions of either divinities of inactivity, I have been fortunate to be the second placer this month. And what book did I choose for my reward?

Comics of course!

I'd been meaning to get into, or rather, to check out Marvel's Noir line of books for a while now, and not even half-expecting to win, used the opportunity presented by Bradline Books to do so. Because of Breadline's relatively low traffic, I managed to win. Which is unfortunate, because there are many more deserving readers who would have requested a book of much higher merit.

This current low-traffic also means you'll have a much higher chance of getting a free book out of the next couple of months. If you like reading at all, now is your chance to not have your arms and legs ripped off by Random House. Well, not your legs, anyways. So you can still get around.

So, just incase you missed it, there's another link here.

And while I've introduced the topic, I think I'll use this time to discuss the sorry state in which the comics industry is finding itself.

Many of you will probably not agree with me, because either you live by the philosophy that "things need to change" or that "Hollywood adaptations means the books are selling." Both of which are right, and both of which are wrong. When I say that the industry is in "a sorry state" I'm not really referring to their sales, which I'm amazed aren't declining nearly as much as they are. No, I'm talking about the actual creations being pumped out by the big two (not so much Dark Horse. I love me some Dark Horse.)

And when you say "things need to change" I will happily agree with you, despite my unrequited love of Golden Age cheesefests. Things do need to change. Characters and elements need to evolve. That doesn't mean you need to evolve them in such a way that you alienate the original fanbase, nor does it mean that you need to convolute crap anymore than it already is.

Come on. Does Sega write comics now?

Originally I was going to complain about the new Venom design and host, but then I thought about it and realized that this isn't some new stupid idea. This is actually a better appreciation for the original nature of the Symbiote and is a worthy evolution of both Venom (the Symbiote) and Flash Thompson as characters in the universe. And it beats the hell out of an army of bizarre monsters that never fit the original idea to begin with.

Instead this rant is more about the garbage that Marvel and DC think they can just spit out. It's almost as though they don't have a grasp on the artistry of the comics anymore. Be gross, be big, be exploding. These days it's impossible to find any stories worth a damn in the monthly publications. If you want to read something even remotely worth your time, stick to miniseries and isolated universes (which can include reinventions of the current main universe. The Marvel Zombies line is usually a good amount of fun.) Even if they do manage to push out a good storyline now and then, sifting through the four or five current Spider-Man titles isn't worth it. Especially not at $3.99 a pop.

I'd love to see some independent publishers take the lull in quality big name titles to their advantage and push out something phenomenal. The Scott Pilgrim series of graphic novels has already made the journey from small fry to big guy, and I'd love to see other independents do the same. Even rise out of the conglomerate clutches to forge an entirely new universe of stories. Especially considering the print-on-demand and digital formats available to the everyman in the current market, this is really the time to kick crappy comics in the ass and make quality become the selling point.

Oh, before I leave you guys with an awesome new book source and a rant about garbage, I have to apologize for those who noticed yesterday's blog about the Animaniacs wasn't formatted properly. The links opened in the current window instead of opening in a new one because I forgot to fix the coding before I posted. I'll be fixing that in the next couple of minutes, just as soon as I'm done restructuring the wall with my forehead.

Are the Animaniacs Looney Tunes?

In the early 1990's , Warner Bros. collaborated with Steven Spielberg to create a follow-up series to the succesful Tiny Toons Adventures cartoons. The result was Steven Spielberg Presents Animaniacs, a show with a lead cast derived from early silent cartoons, and a supporting crew showcased in various short cartoons. Some of these characters fell into obscure background roles, while others climbed through the ranks until they spun-off a show of their own.

The Animaniacs, and the majority of their supporting cast, were wildly popular characters, and the show soon found itself with wide viewer ship among all age groups, not just children. They even briefly found a home in a comic book published by DC which managed to justify its publication for five years, even outliving the show's development history.

Hello Nurse for JLU!

But one thing has always kind of left me curious. Were the Animaniacs created to be a continuation of the Looney Tunes? They were created to coexist with the Tiny Toons, but in a show unique to them. This would mean they'd coexist with the Looney Tunes as well, but never once have the Animaniacs even seen Daffy Duck.

Typically the Animaniacs are considered an entity independent of the Looney Tunes. Most people don't even think they exist in the same world. That's pretty fair, because unless you're an omega-level nerd, you'll never make the same connections I just have. However, it's a shame that the Animaniacs have been doomed to obscurity simply because they aren't considered Looney Tunes.

Forget the Animaniacs. Where the hell's Bosko been hiding?

It's something astounding to believe that Wanrer Bros. would allow this popular set of characters to disappear, with the exception of some unannounced DVD releases, when they had such a large audience. They can't even attribute the Animaniacs' vanishing act on poor viewership or merchandise sales, because it was the fault of Space Jam and other failed animation projects that forced the company to cut costs.

So why not salvage these characters? Why not pluck the Animaniacs, Minerva Mink, Hello Nurse, Mindy and Buttons, Slappy Squirrel, the Goodfeathers, etc., and if not to give them a more than deserved new cartoon, put them, in some reinvented form, in the Looney Tunes Show? Sure, it hasn't been quite the greatest show in the world, but if it can be used as a launch pad to reintroduce these characters to the television audience, why not do it?

I remember going to see Looney Tunes: Back in Action when I was younger, and not expecting, but hoping to see at least a cameo of the Animaniacs. Maybe they could have placed Yakko as a dealer in the background of Sam's casino. They managed to squeeze in an old style Scooby-Doo and Shaggy, but the Animaniacs (and the Tiny Toons for that matter) were again ignored.

See those smiling children up there? Those happy faces are the faces of modern cartoons... the good ones... And we, the viewers who pay to view everything on television, deserve to see somethign quality in our cartoons yet again.

The Field is on Fire

Wheelbug Vol. 6 has released today! I know to many of you, this won't really matter at all, but this is a big deal around here. Wheelbug is the annual literary magazine published by my high school every April and May, and it was looking rather iffy that we'd even have one at all this year. Luckily, here we are, book in hand and poem on page! This is my last opportunity to have any of my work featured in the magazine, as I'll be graduating this Saturday. To commemorate the event, I'm sharing one of the poems that made it onto the pages of this most glorious magazine.

For those curious, I'll be posting pictures of the cover at some point this week, possibly even later today.

Without further interruption....

  

The Field is on Fire

The field is on fire!
The field is on fire!
Oh boy! Oh boy!
The field is on fire!
The flowers are burning
So warm and snuggly.
Their petals are toasting,
Their stems are roasting,
and the smells are so,
so,
sweet.

Such a sight
Such beauty
Such grace!
The way it dances from grass to tree.
The way it lights the night
as though it were the sun.
I enjoy these flames
And the tapestry they weave.
But then I remember,
With the matches in my hand,
That I am the artist.

Remix

One
Two
One two
Three four
One two three four
CRASH
cymbals drums
Drum drum cymbal
Drum
Drum
Drum
Screech and hollar
Unruly fanfare
Stomp drum CRASH
Spin, leap, moonwalk
Twang twang twang
Drum drum
Twang
Whistle, a flute
Violin rising
Fading bass
Drum
Female murmur, whisper, and hum
Cue the choir
Single harp, slow and soft
CRASH
Cheer, howl, shout
Applaud
Drum twang twang drum
Burst of fire
Twang twang
Drum
cymbal cymbal twang drum
Scream
Spin, twirl, moonwalk
Stop
Dim
Drum... Drum...
Twang (fade)
Drum...
Choir (fade)
Drum...
Hum (fade)
...
...
...
Encore

The Looney Tunes Show - First Impression

The Looney Tunes have been around for a long time, almost a hundred years, and they've managed to evolve while keeping their old cartoons relevant. It's really a miracle that Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck are still household names, let alone the celebrated icons that they are. Though the main Looney Tunes crew hasn't had a real show in quite a while, their spin-offs and showcase segments have delighted children worldwide for most of the modern era.

Tiny Toon Adventures and Baby Looney Tunes took the characters and the world in which they inhabited in new directions, with Baby Looney Tunes being a bit of a rip-off of the Muppet Babies. The show was specifically aimed at younger children and its focus was on teaching life lessons and friendship.

Tiny Toon Adventures has more in common with the original shorts, replacing the main cast with their younger pupils. The show was different from the old shorts of the passed, which were designed for a theater audience. It kept the idea of short cartoons with a more "looniful" theme, while separating them with an overarching story that focused on the average lives of the Tiny Toons characters. These overarching story plots often developed the characters and relationships in ways that modern audiences could relate with.

These new takes weren't all that kept the Looney Tunes relevant. Various holiday specials were produced along with a pair of feature-length movies that took a more than heavy inspirational cue from Who Framed Roger Rabbit?, which, coincidentally, featured Bugs Bunny in a cameo role. Unfortunately these movies, Warner Bros.' all-stars mash-up Space Jam, and 2003's Looney Tunes: Back in Action, had a habit of straying too far from the character's original personalities, and were ultimately little more than a pair of not-so-clever marketing ploys.

Besides some of the more updated stylings of the Looney Tunes characters (such as a much more gross-out inspired Tasmanian Devil) these movies, or Space Jam rather, since Back in Action didn't bring anything new to the table at all, gave birth to Lola Bunny, the most hit-or-miss character ever to join the Looney Tunes crew. To some she's the beginning of the end, and to others she's a strong character that deserves more attention. And to others... 

Lola Bunny, despite often being toted around as one of the core Looney Tunes characters, has only appeared in a "traditional" Looney Tunes short in the form of a very obscure webtoon where she has no lines, and her only vocal cues are a slew of childish giggles. Despite this, she has appeared in Baby Looney Tunes as a core character and is the ancestor of possibly the most annoying superhero ever.



Lola does a good job of avoiding common stereotypes.

The most recent attempt at modernizing the Looney Tunes is Cartoon Network's newest series the Looney Tunes Show. When news that this show was going to appear on Cartoon Network first entered my ears, I was a little concerned. I had this terrible feeling in my gut that they were going to make some abstract Adventure Time version of my favorite rodents (and fowls, and pigs, and felines, and...)

News quickly came in that the show was going to be unlike other traditional Looney Tunes cartoons. The series would revolve around the characters lives as they try to survive in a suburban neighborhood as law abiding citizens, neighbors, and roommates. As more information began rolling in, it seemed more like the Looney Tunes Show was going to be "Tiny Toons for grown-ups." I began looking forward to seeing how the show would turn out.

Finally the day came, the series premiere. It was... interesting, to say the least. There were points where the show was disappointing, particularly in its characterization of Speedy Gonzales, whom has ditched his bantering hero persona for something much more like Ernie Cardinez from George Lopez (the show.) Bugs Bunny was also lacking a proper personality, being a much more mellowed individual than he used to be. Admittedly this version of Bugs has existed since the mid-to-late 80's, but this show seems determined to really make him the straight man to Daffy Duck. Which is a shame considering Bugs Bunny was one of the pioneers of the screwball era of cartoons.

Bugs Bunny: the original nut job.

Much of the show seemed to focus on Daffy Duck, who is far more naive than he is sinister, though he is still a great deal selfish. This is really a pretty good grasp on Daffy's character, portraying him less like a villain and more like the self-serving dimwit he plays in his more likeable roles. The focus on Daffy will probably continue as the show progresses, as compared to the infallible Bugs he is a much easier character for the audience to relate to.

The story line wasn't terrible, nor was it terribly complex. It was quick and simple enough that younger audience members should be able to follow it, and there was enough going on that older viewers should be entertained if nothing else. Hearing many of the voices present in past Warner Bros. cartoons will really give more value to the nostalgic feel of the show as it tries to balance all generations of the Looney Tunes.

The art takes some getting used to, and it might alienate some of the more traditionalist viewers out there. I personally had a hard time getting past some of the design choices, and I'm still not a large fan of the more blocky looking Bugs Bunny, but it isn't anything that will turn me off to the show entirely. The art direction, while not vastly different, is different enough from past directions to feel more than a little odd.

Hey boy, Bugs Bunny wants some crack!

Naturally, the most interesting part of this series is going to be seeing the reimaginings of your favorite Looney Tunes character. Be it Foghorn Leghorn, Porky Pig, or even Lola Bunny, all of the Looney Tunes regulars are set to make an appearance or two. Although what will become of Wile E. Coyote and the Roadrunner isn't yet known. The two are going to star in some very well done CGI segments of their own, but whether they'll appear as part of the suburban lifestyle or not is unknown. Honestly, I'm hoping to see the Tiny Toons characters return as members of the larger Looney Tunes family. They've been neglected for far too long, especially considering Lola Bunny is just a sexier version of Babs. This might also be an opportune time for Warner Bros. to revisit other popular properties such as the Animaniacs and Pinky and the Brain. Though they should leave the Loonatics out of it, merely for the sake of continuity if nothing else.

It's far too early to really make a judgment on how the series will progress, and whether it will be any good or not. Basing my assessment from the pilot alone, however, I think it's definitely going to be worth waiting around for a few more episodes to see where it goes. Despite its flaws, the show still has a vast amount of potential, and if the plots improve even marginally from what we have now, the show will be a worthy continuation of the Looney Tunes legacy.

Free Comic Book Day - Aftermath

Headed out with my girlfriend this weekend to tear apart the few establishments that were sponsoring Free Comic Book Day. Unfortunately, they had already been torn apart. Sometimes I truly loathe my love of sleeping. Sometimes.

Regardless, we got a few comics and I met a couple of nice folks. This one guy had a surprising lot to say, and I think it was refreshing to him that I knew about Golden Age comics and all of the wonderful things that accompanied them, such as "FREE X-Ray Glasses." I was also surprised that I held the conversation as long as I did. Go developing social skills!

Another sweet deal that came out of this: my girlfriend seemed to have an interest in the Green Lantern cover. Maybe I can drag out the dormant nerd in her yet! And if not, well, maybe just a trip to the movies. :D

Repping publishers equally :D



Unfortunately, it wasn't all sweet deals and awesome convos. This day has just further shown me how freaking horrible and inconsiderate some people can be. In an area where there's supposed to be a form of single-file line, there is no need to ripping my arm off my girlfriend's shoulder to get at the books between us. You can wait thirty seconds for us to move on.

Seriously, why do you need to be in such a rush to grab a comic out of a stack of fifty? You're not going to miss anything, pals.

If you're one of these people, please, get your head out of your ass. Thank you.

Free Comic Book Day

Free Comic Book Day is right around the corner, and if your religion hasn't yet adopted this glorious celebration of modern legends, then by George, make sure it does. To comic enthusiasts, entertained children, and creepy bearded men alike this day is one of the most magnificent events to grace our culture. It combines the idea of cheap escapist fiction with free stuff. Sure, they typically only hand out a five or ten page minicomic, but the idea is that it's free. Stop complaining.

You collectors out there, foolishly scoffing at these one-time free minicomics should be delighted to know that Free Comic Book Day is often also "Free Awesome-Deals Day" on back issues and all sorts of other paraphernalia. Those really cool stone sculptures of the TMNT that every store has, but nobody can afford seem to drop ten or fifteen dollars around this time, so I encourage anybody who's been drooling over Raphael precariously perched atop a cold-cast Chrysler Building, now's your chance.

Free Comic Book Day is typically associated with some big screen adaptation of a comic book series, and this year's theme seems to be Marvel's Thor. This probably means much of the promotional material and advertising will either feature or revolve around the Odinson, so to get into the spirit, here's one of the promotional trailers of Marvel's more fantastical hero.

Free Comic Book Day is on Saturday May 7. That's this Saturday, for those of you who haven't gotten around to flipping your calendars yet (mine thinks it's March.) If you don't believe me, check with your local comic shop... if your town still has one. If not, check the comic shop the next town over, and I'm sure they'll hand you a smile and a seventy-dollar receipt for that Kasumi figurine you'll now have to hide from your wife.

Animation: Where Has the Good Stuff Gone?

Some of my fondest childhood memories are those of Saturday mornings. The sun was up, the birds were chirping, occasionally I would glimpse the beauitful crest of a crimson cardinal perched on the windowbox outside my bedroom. More important than any of this beauty, however, on earlier than my body wanted to wake, was the Saturday morning cartoon line-up. When I was kid, this was the only time outside of Toonami to catch some action shows. Sure, there was some comedy cartoons thrown in here and there, but this several hour block was all about Superman, Batman, and Pokemon.



And of course, the Extreme Dinosaurs.



Growing up, these were the shows that ruled my world. They were the best of the best. As I got older, I watched less and less of them, until eventually I watched hardly any television at all. I had assumed this was because I had merely grown out of such shows, however it soon became apparent that this was not the case. I had not grown out of cartoons, they had simply stopped making cartoons worth watching.

The 1980's and the 1990's was the hayday of action cartoons. These decades had everything, from the old X-Men Animated Series, to Gargoyles, to Sonic the Hedgehog (which has been previously praised.) These shows demonstrated a wide variety of story telling, from the darker tones of Batman: the Animated Series, and Batman Beyond to the more lighthearted and comedic antics of the Tick or Freakazoid. These shows were of a unique quality and breed, with proper time and care taken into the animation. Sure, some shows had a bad premise and there was a bit of chop in the animation of lower budget productions, but for the most part the animation was superb.

Up yours, Fanboy and Chum Chum.

Even shows that had a comedic central focus had better animation, storytelling, and quality than just about anything on the waves today. Tiny Toons Adventures, and Pinky and the Brain, were topnotch programs. And they still are. There is hardly a person alive who won't appreciate these programs. Even the younger generation, forced to absorb the refuse shoveled through their glowing, blue screens prefer to sit through a full episode of the New Woody Woodpecker Show than watch Chowder for any length of time.

I'm not saying that quality cartoons aren't being produced for the modern generation. Man of Action brought us Ben 10, which has ups and downs but is overall a decent show, as well as Generator Rex and Young Justice. Codename: Kids Next Door and Danny Phantom were both shows with thought-out, if sometimes off-the-wall, plots and solid artistic styles, and while Phineas and Ferb doesn't have the greatest art in the world, it does have some incredible humor and a slew of very likeable characters.

Fish Hooks has none of the above.

Unfortunately these shows are falling more and more into the minority, and they were already there to begin with. Most cartoons in the past decade seem to be spawning from a new surge of "screwball" animation. The previous generation of screwball cartoons brought us the likes of Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, and Screwy Squirrel, but it also brought truckloads of garbage with it.

Regrettably, this entire recent generation is a truckfull of garbage, with maybe one barely legitimate exception. The cartoons being produced today are of poor art quality, with an emphasis on either the simplicity or the absurd aspects, with a lack of proper humor. All of these shows are about being gross and more disgusting than the last.

Besides the obvious phallic reference, where's the humor?

Gone are the days of quality plots and decent animation. No, we have Japan to make that kind of show for us. We are now free to focus on making our notebook doodles move and talk, and our worst Sunday comics become our worst animated endeavors (except for Dilbert.)

I'd love it if we could return to the old ways, at least for one night a week. Not just a two hour block, but for a whole night. A whole night of quality television, even if they need to start showing reruns to get there.

Not that old...