Friday, August 17, 2012

Tin Toes

It's commonly thought among the Star Fox community that something a little sinister happens to a space pilot before they can fly a starfighter: their legs must be amputated and replaced with robotic prosthetics to allow their blood to circulate normally under the extreme g-forces of their starfighter. This makes a whole lot of sense, is pretty cool, and is supported by the fact that all of Star Fox (the team, not the franchise) is shown to have robotic legs in the artwork for the first couple of games. Take a look:

Foxinator!
See that? Everyone's got the same thin-ankled metal legs goin' on there. But wait, they couldn't do that to Krystal, could they? They couldn't ruin the hentai, could they? And what about the totally normal looking legs these guys have in later games?

Reg'lar boots.
Well, I've actually got a few theories about all of this. Of course, you should have known I did, considering I'm writing this blog about it right now. What, did you think I was just posting to let you all know I finally realized Fox McCloud is an amputee? Oh no. No, no, no, you silly child. Hear my wonderful theories. Hear them!

Let's start off with something that started showing up in Star Fox 64: the G-Diffuser system. It's pretty self-explanatory what this does, exactly. It's a system built into most starfighters, at least the Star Fox team's Arwing is equipped with them, that reduces the g-forces felt by the pilots while in the cockpit. This makes it theoretically possible for the starfighters to create a pseudo-atmospheric environment that wouldn't wash the blood out of a regular Lylatian's legs.

"That can't be true," the unimaginative ones say, "because Fox wouldn't have chopped off his legs if it were."

It's like you think the Star Fox games take place week to week. The truth is, more than an entire decade passes between Star Fox for the SNES and the series thusfar finale Star Fox: Command. At least one year has passed between Star Fox and Star Fox 64, but Fox and his team have all been pilots for quite a while longer, and it's probable that their amputations would have occurred during training in the Cornerian Flight Academy, or wherever else they learned to fly. This means that Fox and his crew have probably been legless for half a decade before we ever even know who they are. In the case of Peppy, he's been without toes for about thirty years.

"So what?"

So they had to be amputated at the time of the first game and during their training because the G-Diffuser hadn't been invented yet. It isn't around until Star Fox 64, so all pilots before then needed their legs gone. But here's the important part in regards to Krystal and the other pilots introduced after 64: They were entering the starfighter scene after the introduction of the G-Diffuser system. They don't need to chop off their legs.

"So what about Fox's organic legs in every game after Adventures? What the hell is up with that?"

Well, I've got a lot of theories for that. All of which are plausible considering how far advanced the Lylat System's technology is when compared to ours. The easiest explanation is this: they're wearing boots over their prosthetics, or they've ordered upgraded prosthetics to better mimic organic feet. It's not my favorite theory, but it's probably the most likely.

The second theory I'm going to share with you is a little more crazy, and a little more... between the lines, I guess. Ready for it? Stem cells.

At some point during the eight-year gap between Star Fox 64 and Star Fox Adventures someone discovered how to regrow limbs, probably through stem cells (or the Lylatian equivalent... which are probably still stem cells.) Of course, growing back limbs is an expensive process which would... explain why Star Fox are so dirt poor at the beginning of Star Fox Adventures that Slippy can barely keep ROB together. They spent their entire commission from defeating Andross on expensive operations to replace their amputated legs.

This also explains something else: Where the fuck Falco was throughout that entire game. It's possible that while his team was trying to scrape together lunch money, Falco was back on Corneria undergoing rehab to get used to his spankin' new legs.

So there you have it. Before people start accusing n00bs of not knowing about Fox's metal legs, or blasting Nintendo for forgetting their roots, let's try to think a little outside the box. After all, if our pitiful (in comparison) technology can advance so far in ten of our own years, imagine how quickly advancements must be made in the Lylat System.

1 comment:

  1. G-diffusers were in the original SNES game. They were first introduced in F-zero ffor the SNES prior to Starfox. Here is a pic: http://f.starfox-online.net/sf/guides/mfp/MFP_009.jpg

    Why do people keep saying it was not introduced until Starfox64? This just isn't the case.

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