Sunday, May 19, 2013

10 Bat-suits I Want to Be DLC

Talk of the town lately has been NetherRealm Studios' DC crossover fighting game Injustice: Gods Among Us for quite a while, and discussion hasn't slowed despite the game's release over a month ago, due in large part to the studios' reputation as a renowned dealer of DLC. They've been sure to keep the championship belt shiny with a number of bonus and downloadable alternate character skins and at least four announced additional characters, although it's rumored that more could be on the way. With no announcement of a ceasefire on the X-Box Marketplace, many have already assumed that we'll be seeing historic super costumes lining our virtual closets for at least the remaining summer months. While most people are wishing for iconic Batmen from their favorite story arcs, my tastes are a little more nineties...

I present to you, in no particular order, the top ten Bat-suits I want to miraculously find their way into Injustice: Gods Among Us.

1. Disaster Control Batman


I will unashamedly admit right off the bat (get it? ) that this list will be completely composed of gimmicky action figures from the Batman: The Animated Series toy line. Starting us off is a simple suit designed to prove once and for all that Batman is one of the good guys. Decked out in distinctive crossing guard fashion, Batman is ready and willing to serve and protect the innocent in the streets of Gotham.

2. Tri Wing Batman



Batman's Tri Wing suit isn't quite as elementally specific as his other costumes designed for deserts, oceans, or deep space, but it does have a distinctive Batfamily flair. Not too dissimilar to Nightwing's disco-era fashion sense, the Tri Wing costume probably won't strike fear into the hearts of Gotham's criminal underground, but it sure will look spiffy with the Bat's rhythmic combat techniques.

3. Cyber Gear Batman



I'm not quite sure what purpose Batman's Cyber Gear armor serves, but it sure looks damn cool. Of course, the costume's unique weaponry wouldn't be of any use in the Injustice battle arena, but it still looks pretty damn cool. With a distinctive neo-Egyptian motif, Cyber Gear Batman might not induce nightmares, but he enters the brawl with his own unique flavor of Cyber Fear.

4. Ground Assault Batman



Stylized like a piss poor MSPaint recolor, I didn't choose the Ground Assault Batman because of his coolness factor or because of his stark contrast to the traditional Batman suit. Nope. I'd like to see the Ground Assault suit simply because I feel it is an embodiment of every terrible tie-in toy idea from this era and all the eras before and after. This suit really does represent the worst that toy lines have to offer, and precisely what they have become famous for: clashing colors, nonsensical design scheme, and a total disregard for the character playing dress up.

5. High Wire Batman



High Wire Batman is both really cool looking and slightly symbolic. You see, Batman's fabled sidekick, Robin the Boy Wonder, got his start as a high wire act for a Gotham City circus. This suit combines fable with a slick aesthetic which seems simply electric!

6. Land Strike Batman



I'd like to see the Land Strike Batman for a few different reasons. To start with, the black and orange costume scheme is reminiscent of Halloween, which is a pretty nice fit for the Batman persona. Secondly... it just looks pretty cool.

7. Lightning Strike Batman



I'm not sure if the Lightning Strike suit is designed to insulate Batman against electrically charged opponents or if its function is to give his punches a little juice, but the Flash-inspired lightning pattern look simply shocking over his midnight black uniform.

8. Tornado Batman


Tornado Batman is an avid storm watcher, or maybe he causes the storms? These toys and the commercials never were quite clear on what, exactly, the suits were for. One thing's for sure, though: this one reminds me an awful lot of a Mega Man Robot Master, and that's never a bat thing.

9. Torpedo Batman



Torpedo Batman hits the beach and rides out on his patented Bat-Jet Ski to meet the waves. This is Bat-suit in particular I'd like to see crashing on the shores of Injustice Lagoon, simply because of its pure contrast to the typical same-looking cape and cowl.

10. Neon Talking Super Street Batman



Actually not a toy, the Neon Talking Super Street Bat-suit made its debut in the final episode of Cartoon Network's Batman: The Brave and the Bold as a mockery of the very toy line I hold so dear. A bit of an exaggeration on just how awful and misplaced the actual toys were, this costume sports a stark contrast in the form of streaking flames and red armor. Designed to accompany the Neon Talking Super Street Bat-Luge, this suit would be nice to see for both the novelty and for the possible incorporation of the Bat-Luge's unique Jarvis-esque voice.

Those of you who have stuck around for this long (and let's face it, the article has been mostly pictures. If there was too much reading for you, well, why are you on the Internet?) are probably wondering why I would want to see all these batzarro costumes instead of, say, a Nolan-verse styled ballistics uniform, or the ever-popular Red Rain vampire Batman. The answer is simple. I want alternate costumes, not the same costume with a slightly different look. These toy costumes are a notable part of Batman's history, and their diversity would add some variety to Injustice as opposed to some of the more desirable Bat-suits, which will simply maintain the one-dimensional status quo. Maybe it's been my Super Smash Bros. upbringing, but when we get alternate suits, I want some really diverse alternate suits. Even if that means—no—especially if that means taking the concept of a character and twisting it on its head with a more contrary set of colors.

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