5 Yoshi Characters Who Should Join the Brawl!

Nintendo's decision to break up the Mario franchise from its spin-offs in terms of representation has been fairly controversial, particularly for the Wario and Yoshi series of games (even more controversial [okay, it only pisses me off] is the boring ass decision to make the Wario games represented by a standard "W". Couldn't they have at least used the bucket from Mario & Wario as the series icon, or even just some garlic?). However, there's no denying the importance of these franchises. Wario actively maintains two lines of games (and has featured in several others), and Yoshi himself headlines a number of titles, with two new ones planned for release in coming months. But are there any characters lurking around Yoshi's Island worthy enough to support the dedicated dino in the Super Smash Bros. arena? Let's take a look!

5. Hookbill Koopa

If there's one thing Yoshi's Island gets right (lol, it got everything right) it's bosses. From Salvo the Slime to Sluggy the Unshaven, each boss is a defined and memorable addition to the game. While Hookbill might seem to be the least inspired of these dastardly dingle berries, it can't be said that he hasn't done a fair share of inspiring. Being the first representative in the line which would become the tubbo Koopas, Hookbill's seen a number of offshoots over the years, such as Paper Mario's blind bully, Kent C. Koopa. Hookbill here actually isn't quite himself, as his large size is the result of Kamek's magic. Regardless, he seems quite well practiced with his abilities, and will give even talented Yoshis a run for their money.

4. Raphael the Raven

Arguably the third most important character to come out of Yoshi's Island, Raphael is a brainwashed Raven who combats Yoshi on a miniature moon. Managing to survive exploding into a constellation, Raphael returns in Tetris Attack still under the control of the malevolent Magikoopa, but is finally freed by Yoshi. He then moved to Lavalava Island where he assisted an adult Mario in defeating Lava Piranha and rescuing a Star Spirit. Raphael hasn't been seen in quite a while, but his Ravens show up from time to time in other titles. He had cameos in both Super Smash Bros. Melee and Super Smash Bros. Brawl as a trophy and sticker respectively. While I'm not quite sure how Raph would play in a Smash title, his natural ability to stick to surfaces could make him a pretty cool (and potentially overclassed) addition.

3. Shy Guy

While the Shy Guys first appeared as invaders of the dream land known as Subcon, and have continued to prove themselves as pesky pains in Mario's side, they've been shown to be more frequent antagonists of the Yoshis, often making use of more creative contraptions to defeat their famished foe. Shy Guys possess a large variety of skills, ranging from tribal rain dancing and talent with extending spears to more modern mechanical masterworks, such as flying packs and giant mecha. While Smash might typically be the exclusive domain of specific combatants, it isn't against allowing in representatives of significant species. The Yoshis themselves prove this point, as do the Pokémon. The significant impact Shy Guy, and other creative and recognizable minion characters, have had on Nintendo's history and success are undeniable. Perhaps this masked menaces are just what's needed to give the little guy a fighting chance.


2. Kamek

If Yoshi were to have a primary antagonist, it would be Kamek, the first of the Magikoopa and Bowser's personal nanny. Before the Koopa Kingdom reached all across the Dark Lands, Kamek here was their leader, and he raised the fierce king all by his lonesome. Of course, doing so required eliminating the competition, and so it was that Kamek hunted for the infant Mario Bros.. Kamek is a powerful sorcerer capable of altering world environments and granting vast power to his minions, among numerous other things. Even in more recent years the old timer has shown himself to be a more than capable opponent, confronting the adult Mario and Luigi and even Princess Peach in her lone solo outing. He's probably the most significant character to come out of the Yoshi's Island franchise, and it would be a serious shame not to at least consider him for a second egg rep.


1. Star Children

Yoshi's Island DS introduced us to the Star Children... actually, we already knew them, but it showed us just how special they are! Peach, Luigi, Mario, Donkey Kong, Wario, Bowser, and Yoshi (not shown. The Star Child Yoshi is actually the Yoshi of Yoshi Story and Super Mario World fame, while the Yoshi protagonist of Yoshi's Island, Yoshi's Island DS, and Yoshi Touch & Go could have become the village elder from Paper Mario) were all destined for greatness. Each one has a unique ability, and most of them have played roles in other Mario titles, such as sports spin-offs or RPGs. I kind of lied when I said that Kamek was the most important character to come out of the franchise, because it could easily be argued that these youths are the true stars... but we technically already knew about them. Either way, the bottle-fed brats have been working their way into the hearts of fans ever since Baby Mario made his first return alongside his adult counterpart in the Nintendo 64's Mario Tennis. From that time on, they've proven themselves as bizarrely distinct characters. I can think of a few really cool ways to utilize them as well, although all tend to involve the concept of a revolving door of play styles, a gimmick which has been utilized twice already. Still, if there's one thing Smash has taught us, it's that anything is possible.

5 Kool Kongs Who Should Join the Brawl!

Yesterday (or was it the day before?) I talked about the five third-party characters that I'd most like to see tearing it up with Nintendo's finest, but now we're taking things back a notch into the Big N's stable of simian superstars. Kongo Jungle's simply krawling with kool kritters, and there's no shortage of demand for any one of them (even Kiddy's got his fans). However, as much as I'd love for every member of DK's long reaching family monkey around, there's really only five characters who deserve a chance at the Smash battle royale...

Note: As much as I love Diddy Kong Racing and its entire cast of characters, I'm going to assume they currently belong to RareWare and won't include them in this list. If I could, there'd be no Kongs.

5. Funky Kong

Donkey's funky brother is a fan favorite whose popularity has propelled him to participate in some surprising games in recent years. Despite being a pacifist, Funky seems to be a more than proficient combatant and exceptionally skilled with weaponry. He single-handedly created the Kong's crazy arsenal in Donkey Kong 64. This macho mechanic is also responsible for pretty much every piece of modern technology in the Northern Kremisphere, being able to fashion a hovercraft out of some splintered wood and an old tire that would put James Bond's gadgetry to shame. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if he built all of DK's racing karts and tennis rackets.

Still, as popular as Funky is, I've never been a big fan. While I can think of plenty of ways to differentiate him from DK in terms of play (such as focusing his style around the gadgets he invents), I wouldn't be particularly excited about his inclusion. I wouldn't be disappointed by it, either, though. And as far as Kongs go, he's probably among the more deserving of the crew.

4. King K. Rool

So maybe I lied when I said they were all going to be primates, but the Kremling King is at least sapient. He's been missing in action for a while, being ousted by the vikings and tikis, but there's no doubt that this fierce Feraligatr is DK's most menacing match-up. Now, I know most of you will be thinking: "Number four? Four? Sir, your head is clearly up your crack if you think K. Rool shouldn't have the number one slot on this list! He's almost guaranteed to show up this time around." I'd like to say that I actually really want K. Rool to enter the fray, and he's personally number two on my little list of desires. However, I like to put the obvious ones a little sooner in the article, because how many posts do you want to read about the same characters again and again? Sure, maybe you're the kind of person who constantly needs ass-pats to confirm that, yes, your opinions are appreciated and shared with the community, so naturally you seek out articles which reaffirm your narrow taste and reflect your opinions back at you, hopefully with some more energetic rhetoric than you could hope to muster on your own.

I don't like writing those articles. I like to make people shrug, tilt their head to one side and say: "Huh". As much as I want K. K. Rool to rip up ol' K. B. Koopa, I want to show you guys a couple other really cool candidates, too.

And without further ado...

3. Lanky Kong

Lanky's a bit of a loner when it comes to the Kong Klan. Nobody's quite sure where he came from or how he got here, but we're all so glad he did! Being a bit of an absurdist character, I suppose one could say that Lanky Kong fulfills the role of a less-villainous Wario, although he's also managed to retain his class over the years. I think Lanky actually has a lot to bring the table that he hasn't been allowed to demonstrate, as his playable appearances have exclusively been the fantabulous Donkey Kong 64 and Donkey Kong Barrel Blast. His natural ability to stretch to any length could come in quite handy on the battlefield, and he also has a pocket full of impish circus tricks, including the unique talent of inflating himself like a balloon. Lanky can also switch things up by running around on his hands, which make him faster than when he tries to lope upright. Of course, it comes at the cost of occupying his arms. This clowny Kong hasn't really been given the proper opportunities to demonstrate his usefulness and his potential as a character, and that's a real shame. I think there's a lot of cool things that can be done with him, and I'd love to see that toyed with for the next Super Smash Bros..

2. Stanley the Bugman

I'm not quite sure if Stan here belongs on this post considering he originally appeared in Greenhouse, a Game & Watch system release, but his most important role has been as the protagversary of Donkey Kong (or Cranky Kong, but I think that's all hooey) in the black sheep sequel Donkey Kong 3. His trademark bug spray has already been utilized by Mr. Game & Watch in the Smash series, but there's probably quite a bit more than can be done with that particular gimmick. Not to mention the potential bug army he could unleash upon his foes (perhaps teaching DK the meaning of irony and tossing a beehive on the old ape's head). Supposedly Stanley here is actually one of Mario's cousins, presumably from a separate branch than the Warios, and he's been kind of terribly neglected for decades. Actually, his most recent appearance has been as a trophy in Super Smash Bros. Melee, which is sad. His primary color is already blue, so he should have probably been the third man for the New Super Mario Bros. franchise, not to mention the fact that he's just about the only Mario related character not to have been revived in a sports title at some point. Maybe it's time to bring this little guy back to his former glory... after all, he is one of the only actual Nintendo characters to be featured in a cartoon.

1. Dixie Kong

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I know I said that I like to get the obvious ones out of the way first, but Dixie Kong really is the most deserving of the number one spot. She's starred in two of her own adventures and supported the Kong family through eight others, not to mention her habit of shooting hoops with the Mario gang and her supporting role in a number of comics and cartoons, and Dixie is by far the most important Kong in the franchise aside from Donkey and Diddy. Combine that with her recent reveal for Tropical Freeze, and we've got a character who's got both a legacy and modern relevance. A lot of people would like to see her paired up with the dinky Kiddy Kong, and while I admit that might make for some pretty cool maneuvers, I'd much rather see ponytail pulling her own weight. She's more than capable of doing so, and there's no reason for her to continue carrying Kiddy in her shadow. Her build might be similar to Diddy's but Dixie is guaranteed to be a fighter unlike any other.

5 Third-Party Characters Who Should Join the Brawl!

It's been a while since I've let loose my Super Smash Bros. for Wii U wish list (last time it was F-Zero). That bums me out, because I've been wanting to get around to this one for a while. Damn Life keeps getting in my way! Anyways, I've finally got a good writing day, and I'm inking all over it. Are you ready? Here's my top five third-party characters for the next Super Smash Bros.!

5. Frogger

Frogger is one of the Golden Age gladiators that entered the gaming arena before consoles were even a speck on the radar. While he might have once been the talk of the town, even garnering enough acclaim to star in a segment of the Saturday Supercade show, Frogger's been kind of out of sorts the past couple of decades. While his colleagues, Pac-Man, Mario, and Bomberman have all continued to grace gaming platforms everywhere (and even Q*Bert has recently found a place in the Hollywood limelight), Frogger's been hopping in the shadows. He's starred in a number of titles over the years and gone through a major design overhaul, but non of his sequels have quite taken off the way the original did. Regardless, when I think of video game superstars, he climbs right into the top ten, and most people have played some version of the original Frogger since it's been ported to most every system. Like with Pac-Man, Frogger's redesign takes a little getting used to, but it's not so bad once you give it a bit. And, little known fact, this ample amphibian is a member of Konami's pantheon, meaning he chills with Solid Snake between foiling Swampy's schemes. This connection, as well as Super Smash Bros. U's emphasis on classic character revival, makes me want to see Long-Tongue's debut just a little more.

4. Crash Bandicoot

Once upon a time Crash Bandicoot was the face of Sony's PlayStation. Born and bred as a rival to Mario and Sonic, Crash led the PlayStation (along with his ally, Spyro the Dragon) on a successful crusade to the tippy top of the marketplace. That history's all come crashing down in recent years, though, with the brazen bandicoot making the voyage for cleaner shores, including Mario's own personal swimming pool. Crash is as important and relevant to gaming as Pac-Man and Mario are, and his absence from PlayStation All-Star Battle Royale came as an incredible shock. It would be pretty darn sweet to see Nintendo scoop this one right out from beneath Sony's nose, and he really wouldn't stand out at all. Crash is one of the few third-party characters that would feel right at home with the rest of the Smash SuperStars.

3. Bomberman

Like Frogger, Bomberman is a classic all-star with some unlikely connections: actually, the same exact one! While Bomber's games might be developed and published by Hudson Soft (a company which is already intimately linked with Nintendo), they're actually a child company to Metal Gear Solid's Konami. This connection has shown in the past, with Bomberman coming up against Snake in a previous Smashclone known as DreamMix TV World Fighters way back in 2003. Not only that, but this guy has also matched wits with the egomanic Wario in one of the earliest gaming crossovers: Wario Blast: Featuring Bomberman! for the great gray Game Boy. Of all third-party characters, Bomberman is one of the few to actually deserve a chance at the Smash awards... but there's two others who might take a little priority over the rumble-ready robot.

2. KOS-MOS

I admit that KOS-MOS' inclusion on this list is partially due to my insatiable appetite for out of place characters, but it's also partially due to her not being out of place one little bit once you think about the connections she has. First of all, her trilogy of PS2 RPGs is held in pretty high regard by fans of multiple genres (both JRPG fans and SciFi fans get pretty into it), and the first two titles were completely remade for the Nintendo DS in Japan. These titles are part of the long reaching Xeno RPG series, which began with Xenogears, became Xenosaga, and after Nintendo's acquisition of Monolith Soft became... Xenoblade Chronicles, break out success for the Nintendo Wii. Not only does KOS-MOS' franchise have a direct relation to one of Nintendo's own, but her trilogy is actually owned by Namco, who, I might remind you, is attached to the Smash U project. Bamco is also a huge fan of giving her cameos wherever possible, and she's rumbled with pretty much all of their line up at one point or another. KOS-MOS also provides the opportunity for a lot of flashy techniques, what with her ability to summon outrageously large plasma cannons. Really, this is one character I'd pay just a little bit extra to see throwing down with the rest of the crew.

1. Pac-Man

At one time Pac-Man managed to save the gaming industry, something Mario would due when the market began to grow again stale. This launched the probable pizza into instant stardom, and he became the first video game character to star in his very own half-hour program. While he fell by the wayside as gaming evolved, and went through a new change almost every decade, Pac's been there through it all and he's given nearly every genre a chance. From the arcade classic to Tetris knockoffs to point-and-click adventures, Pac-Man's a really well-rounded hero. Oh, and did I mention that he's Namco's mascot and Mega Man's perpetual rival? I didn't? Well I have now! If any third-party character deserves to join the ranks of Nintendo's finest, it's this guy. And if I were confident about anything regarding this new pair of punch-parties, it's that Pac-Man will most certainly be there to prove that some things never go out of style.

5 Zelda Characters Who Should the Brawl!

Yesterday I listed off five new Pokémon that would be really radical to see in the new pair of Super Smash Bros. games, and y'know, once I get going on Smash Bros. there ain't no stopping me! Today I've traveled through the depths of time and the heart of seasons to bring to you five brand spankin' new  warriors from the Legend of Zelda franchise. May they serve you well!


5. Dark Link

Dark Link technically showed up in both Super Smash Bros. Melee and its sequel Super Smash Bros. Brawl. In the first instance he was more accurate to his portrayals in games up to that point, but he wasn't a playable character and only appeared as an adversary of Link's in one of the more gruelling Event Matches. In the latter he appeared as an alternate costume for Link (along with a chibi version as an alternate for Toon Link), but didn't really look or feel much like himself. That's kind of a shame, because Dark Link is a lot more than an evil doppelganger. In fact, in his most iconic appearance to date in The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, Dark Link was hardly like Link at all. He had a shadow version of the Master Sword and could mimic all of Link's sword attacks, but he lacked any of the Hero of Time's unique arsenal. In the stead of boomerangs and Deku nuts he can materialize and dematerialize at will, and his athleticism seems to make Link look like a teetering toddler. He's skilled at immobilizing enemies by locking their attacks and quickly countering, and I think this combination of shadow magic and almost condescending, reactive swordplay has the potential to make Dark Link a truly cool character, and one who isn't just a simple clone.


4. Tingle

Tingle is the bizarre little fairy-man introduced as the high-flying map salesman in The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask. Tingle is kind of the Zelda series' answer to Wario, being quite ugly, quite weird, and quite greedy. His solo excursions (oh yeah, did I mention he has his own franchise?) focus on the acquisition of either wealth or women, often at the sacrifice of former friends or Tingle's own reputation. He's a weird individual who believes that he is, in fact, a fairy, despite the fact that faeries in the Zelda world are tiny. The majority of fans are really torn on this character; either you love him, or you hate him. I think he fits the Smash aesthetic quite well, and his character is probably more suited to a number of Wario's strange attacks (as I feel that Wario should be taken a little more seriously than he has been). I also believe that, again like Wario, Tingle should represent his own spin-off franchise, with his series icon being the recognizable Rupee.


3. Phantom Zelda

In The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks for the Nintendo DS (a game which is already getting a stage, complete with its specific incarnation of Link) Princess Zelda is actually straight up murdered! Don't worry though, because she returns as a ghost who accompanies the young Link on his journey. In this form, Zelda is able to possess temple guardians known as Phantoms--living suits of armor that trample dreams and carve a path of destruction to your nightmares. There are actually several types of Phantom which Zelda can inhabit, and each one offers a unique ability, such as teleporting or throwing fire. This gives her quite an arsenal to work with if a specific Smash Phantom is designed, something which is far from out of the question. A second incarnation of Zelda is long overdue, and I would be pretty thrilled if this more memorable, more active Princess was chosen for the role. Of course, she's not the only unique Zelda in recent memory...


2. Tetra

Meet Tetra, reincarnated Princess Zelda and great-grandmother to Phantom Zelda up there and perhaps the most unique version of the character to date. Unlike the others, this character's literal name is "Tetra", despite being a reborn Zelda spirit. She was supposedly set to show up in Brawl and is commonly thought to have been part of a Toon Zelda/Tetra team similar to Zelda/Sheik, and that's just how most fans like it! I'm here to say that I don't like that. Tetra is a powerful enough character to stand without her Zelda alter ego, which she originally detests. The character's immediate and lasting appeal, coupled with the upcoming Wiimake of The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker, makes her a prime candidate for a Smashing good time!


1. Ganon

Ganondorf is one slick badass, and his Ocarina of Time incarnation happens to be one of my all time favorite villains, but before he was born as a human to the Gerudo tribe, Ganon was a demon of only one form. While he has taken alternate looks in more recent years (often forms which had some relation to his appearance as Ganondorf), the Dark Lord has most frequently appeared as this menacing monster. While not too threatening on the surface (or in goofy 90's art), it doesn't take much imagining to realize what kind of a tyrant this beast really is. At his smallest he's as large as Bowser, and twice as tough. This unique, boar-like boss quickly climbed the ranks of my most-wanted Zelda characters. He's got an early Nintendo aesthetic, something I can never turn down, and there's a lot of potential for a cool and unusual move pool. This boorish brute's debut is long overdue, and with the direct sequel to A Link to the Past right around the corner, now is the perfect time to show off just what he's got.

5 Pokémon Who Should Join the Brawl!

Speculation is running rampant now that Nintendo's shown off some actual game play of the latest additions to the Super Smash Bros. franchise--Super Smash Bros. for Wii U and Super Smash Bros. for 3DS (actual titles)--and of course, I'm going to add to this chaos like the jolly little Smashter that I am. I've been looking into a whole bunch of things ever since the reveal of Mega Man as a playable character, and I've got a whole ton of ideas for who to play as and how to play as them! This won't be as in-depth as my Fantasy Smash Bros. posts, but I might eventually FSB some of these characters. Who knows?

I thought I'd start off with my top five wanted Pokémon. I should make a quick mention that this list is only for characters who haven't previously been in any Smash games, so Mewtwo and Pichu aren't going to be mentioned (though I really do want them to return). I've also left off Ditto (whom lifetime followers will know I am a fan of) for a couple of reasons: first: because I consider him as already having been a Smasher. Second: because I feel there are more suitable alternatives to a random character.

Without further interruption, let's take a look at which five Pocket Monsters should be ripping it up in a whole new stadium!

5. Marill

I've talked about how Marill could work with Super Smash Bros. in some detail before, and I stand by that reasoning. Marill was one of the first Pokémon to be shown for the series' second generation of games, and he garnered quite the following when fans thought he was some kind of long-lost Pikachu relative known as "Bluchu" or "Bluachu". He was also featured (along with Snubbull) in Pikachu's Vacation, the short film accompanying the first ever Pokémon movie, and was later featured as the primary companion of Tracey Sketchit, a primary character of the "Orange Islands" story arc for the anime. This makes him significant not just because he was on the same level as Pikachu and Togepi for a while, but because he was the primary Pokémon of the first companion-swap Ash would endure. This kind of makes him the leader in what would become routine for the program.

4. Gardevoir

To be honest, Gardevoir is a little beyond my time when it comes to Pokémon. While I did have Sapphire at one time, I only ever played it up through the first gym before losing it (probably when a friend "borrowed" it, as is so common among friends and games). It may have also disappeared with the majority of my early GBA games (Mario Kart: Super Circuit, Rayman Advance, Spyro: Season of Ice, Nicktoons Racing, and my original copy of Wario Land 4 all managed to vanish at some point). Regardless, I like her design and elegant demeanor, and she seems to be more than a reasonably popular character. I don't know much about her appearances in the anime, but I'm sure she has at least a vaguely significant role at some point. She appeared in Brawl as a replacement for the Rosalina Assist Trophy (for some reason), and definitely stood out from the pack. I think it would be pretty refreshing to play as such a graceful character, although it seems that position may have already been filled by the Wii Fit Trainer. Still, I know I'm not the only one who would pretty happy to see this Fairy princess join the ranks of the Smash Squad.

3. Deoxys

Deoxys really should have been playable in Super Smash Bros. Brawl, but he was beaten out by the more modern Lucario. He's of the "Mewtwo" breed of legendary Pokémon, being relatively human in proportion and body structure and having a theme on genetic structure. Coupled with a bad attitude, Deoxys has remained somewhat popular, but never quite achieved the acclaim of most of his contemporaries. That's a shame, because he's actually a really cool guy. He can assume four different modes which could be applied in various ways for a Smash battle (taking on his Defensive Mode when shielding?) and really would look simply splendid dashing around in his Speed Mode. I really don't expect him to make the cut, but if he doesn't show up in playable capacity, it would be cool to at least see Genesect (who would place on this list if it were six items long).


2. Togepi

Togepi was Misty's answer to Pikachu, replacing Psyduck as her primary Pokémon. She was also the first Generation II Pokémon to appear on the show, arriving originally as a mysterious egg cared for by Ash and co.. Togepi possesses powerful and unusual abilities, which makes her surprisingly adept when she needs to be. Additionally, she has a Kirby/Jigglypuff quality to her character design, and the thought of her hopping across the stage is just something which is really appealing to me.


1. Meowth

This has been a long time coming, and it's time for it to finally arrive. Meowth is Pikachu's eternal rival, and the first talking Pokémon ever seen in the series. It was originally intended to join Pikachu and Jigglypuff in the original Super Smash Bros. (along with Mewtwo) for the N64, but never made it to development, which is a crying shame. He's starred in nearly as many episodes of the anime as Pikachu and Ash have, and he's the only Pokémon to be a constant prescence for the entirety of the program (aside from, of course, his electric antagonist). Not only is he important to the show, but Meowth got his own tech demo for the Nintendo GameCube titled "Meowth's Party" in which this phenomenal feline showed off just how hard he could jam, his guitar riffs putting even Diddy to shame.

It's definitely about time for Meowth to get a little spotlight. Plus, he'd give an additional boost to the ranks of Nintendo's villains, something which needs a little bolstering in the Smashiverse. Would I cut characters to make room for this beloved pet? Well, I don't know. Guess I'll have to flip a coin.

10 Bat-suits I Want to Be DLC

Talk of the town lately has been NetherRealm Studios' DC crossover fighting game Injustice: Gods Among Us for quite a while, and discussion hasn't slowed despite the game's release over a month ago, due in large part to the studios' reputation as a renowned dealer of DLC. They've been sure to keep the championship belt shiny with a number of bonus and downloadable alternate character skins and at least four announced additional characters, although it's rumored that more could be on the way. With no announcement of a ceasefire on the X-Box Marketplace, many have already assumed that we'll be seeing historic super costumes lining our virtual closets for at least the remaining summer months. While most people are wishing for iconic Batmen from their favorite story arcs, my tastes are a little more nineties...

I present to you, in no particular order, the top ten Bat-suits I want to miraculously find their way into Injustice: Gods Among Us.

1. Disaster Control Batman

I will unashamedly admit right off the bat (get it? ) that this list will be completely composed of gimmicky action figures from the Batman: The Animated Series toy line. Starting us off is a simple suit designed to prove once and for all that Batman is one of the good guys. Decked out in distinctive crossing guard fashion, Batman is ready and willing to serve and protect the innocent in the streets of Gotham.

2. Tri Wing Batman

Batman's Tri Wing suit isn't quite as elementally specific as his other costumes designed for deserts, oceans, or deep space, but it does have a distinctive Batfamily flair. Not too dissimilar to Nightwing's disco-era fashion sense, the Tri Wing costume probably won't strike fear into the hearts of Gotham's criminal underground, but it sure will look spiffy with the Bat's rhythmic combat techniques.

3. Cyber Gear Batman

I'm not quite sure what purpose Batman's Cyber Gear armor serves, but it sure looks damn cool. Of course, the costume's unique weaponry wouldn't be of any use in the Injustice battle arena, but it still looks pretty damn cool. With a distinctive neo-Egyptian motif, Cyber Gear Batman might not induce nightmares, but he enters the brawl with his own unique flavor of Cyber Fear.

4. Ground Assault Batman

Stylized like a piss poor MSPaint recolor, I didn't choose the Ground Assault Batman because of his coolness factor or because of his stark contrast to the traditional Batman suit. Nope. I'd like to see the Ground Assault suit simply because I feel it is an embodiment of every terrible tie-in toy idea from this era and all the eras before and after. This suit really does represent the worst that toy lines have to offer, and precisely what they have become famous for: clashing colors, nonsensical design scheme, and a total disregard for the character playing dress up.

5. High Wire Batman

High Wire Batman is both really cool looking and slightly symbolic. You see, Batman's fabled sidekick, Robin the Boy Wonder, got his start as a high wire act for a Gotham City circus. This suit combines fable with a slick aesthetic which seems simply electric!

6. Land Strike Batman

I'd like to see the Land Strike Batman for a few different reasons. To start with, the black and orange costume scheme is reminiscent of Halloween, which is a pretty nice fit for the Batman persona. Secondly... it just looks pretty cool.

7. Lightning Strike Batman

I'm not sure if the Lightning Strike suit is designed to insulate Batman against electrically charged opponents or if its function is to give his punches a little juice, but the Flash-inspired lightning pattern look simply shocking over his midnight black uniform.

8. Tornado Batman

Tornado Batman is an avid storm watcher, or maybe he causes the storms? These toys and the commercials never were quite clear on what, exactly, the suits were for. One thing's for sure, though: this one reminds me an awful lot of a Mega Man Robot Master, and that's never a bat thing.

9. Torpedo Batman

Torpedo Batman hits the beach and rides out on his patented Bat-Jet Ski to meet the waves. This is Bat-suit in particular I'd like to see crashing on the shores of Injustice Lagoon, simply because of its pure contrast to the typical same-looking cape and cowl.

10. Neon Talking Super Street Batman

Actually not a toy, the Neon Talking Super Street Bat-suit made its debut in the final episode of Cartoon Network's Batman: The Brave and the Bold as a mockery of the very toy line I hold so dear. A bit of an exaggeration on just how awful and misplaced the actual toys were, this costume sports a stark contrast in the form of streaking flames and red armor. Designed to accompany the Neon Talking Super Street Bat-Luge, this suit would be nice to see for both the novelty and for the possible incorporation of the Bat-Luge's unique Jarvis-esque voice.

Those of you who have stuck around for this long (and let's face it, the article has been mostly pictures. If there was too much reading for you, well, why are you on the Internet?) are probably wondering why I would want to see all these batzarro costumes instead of, say, a Nolan-verse styled ballistics uniform, or the ever-popular Red Rain vampire Batman. The answer is simple. I want alternate costumes, not the same costume with a slightly different look. These toy costumes are a notable part of Batman's history, and their diversity would add some variety to Injustice as opposed to some of the more desirable Bat-suits, which will simply maintain the one-dimensional status quo. Maybe it's been my Super Smash Bros. upbringing, but when we get alternate suits, I want some really diverse alternate suits. Even if that means—no—especially if that means taking the concept of a character and twisting it on its head with a more contrary set of colors.