Fire Lily

• Chapter One
• Chapter Two

Just a Bit About Fire Lily

I mentioned last week that I wanted to type up what I had written so far of "Fire Lily" before continuing it with the rest of my serial fiction, but it's something I keep putting off. So I've decided to do it in pieces, breaking chapters where I feel they fit. Because the next three installments of "Fire Lily" have already been written as actually just one chapter, this might be a little rocky at first. I just ask that you bare with me until things really get heated with her, because I've got a few hot tales to tell.

Fire Lily: Chapter One

18 Nesting Street sat on the far end of Tender Meadows' new cul-de-sac. It was white and tall and exactly like every other house on the street, with the same painted mailbox, the same dark shutters, and the same black shingles. The panels on its sides were perfectly white, like a brand new coloring book.

The boy, some would call him a young man, seemed extremely out of place in the clean symmetry. His clothes were dark and tattered, and purple bags always hung around his seedy eyes. Brown glops clung to his spiked hair, and dirt had made a bed beneath his nails. Not to mention the smell. There's a certain smell about a man who finds clouds of cologne sufficient in lieu of a shower, and it is often none too pleasant. In this case it made Mrs. Tanith crinkle her nose before the door was even halfway open.

"Hello, Lars," she said coolly. Mrs. Tanith had never been fond of Lars Macallister. Even now she found her eyes drawn to the taco shell wedged in his teeth.

"Hey Missus T. Is Josh home?" There was an odd creak to his voice, like a frog that somehow learned to speak.

"Yes, he's upstairs." Reluctantly, she moved to the side, holding the door like it was a shield. "Take your boots off before you step off the rug."

"Not a problem." He grinned, flashing more detoured taco. The stench of cheese and corn chips wafted up as he kicked away the black boots.

"You know where his room is?" Mrs. Tanith held her breath as the foot-stench molested her nostrils.

"Yeah, not a problem."

The boy rushed up the stairs, taking his foot-stench and cologne cloud with him. But just having him in the house made Mrs. Tanith uneasy. It was as though there was an anvil above her head, and the coyote was about to cut the string.

***

Joshua J. Tanith was a bright kid. All the report cards from fourth grade onward (which were stored in a shoe box under the bed) were marked top-to-bottom with "A"'s. But he wasn't just good at hitting the books. You might think that with all the model rockets around his room and the number of hours dumped into Guardians of the Guild Online he'd be a total shut-in nerd. That would be far from the truth. Josh was smart, handsome, and he got along with most people.

The notion that all people were inherently good made him easy to get along with, but this naivety brought less-than-desirable people to him. People like Lars Macallister.

"Hey, is that the ship from Alpha Grade?" Lars asked, snatching the rocket model off the dresser. Even from across the room, Josh could see grimy fingerprints smothering the sheen of the red paint.

"Yeah." Josh winced and turned back to the computer, trying to ignore the ruination of his efforts.

"How much is it worth?" Lars turned it up and around in the light.

"Not as much as it should be. I botched the paint job on the wings. The brush slipped and the black was too dark to cover up."

"That the weird-looking bit on the bottom?"

"Yeah."

"Huh." Lars carefully placed the rocket back on its pedestal, not realizing it had already been ruined.

A tingle climbed Josh's neck. It was the uneasy feeling of a long and awkward silence. Or so he thought. "Do you want to watch a movie or play games or something?"

"Yeah, sure," Lars said. "Right after you pay me."

"I already did." Josh clicked out of Guardians of the Guild. Suddenly, it seemed, he did not want distractions.

"You only gave me half. I want it in full. Today. That was the deal."

Josh's mouth went dry. His voice seemed to hang in his throat like a fly caught in webs. Words raced through his mind, searching for the right one. They seemed to skip back, the same ones playing over and over until they lost meaning. At last he was stuck with only one option, repeating it again and again. "No. No no no nononononono."

"Oh yes." Lars grabbed another model off the shelf. Some kind of biplane piloted by a cartoon fox. "Three days, you have the money. That was the deal, remember?"

"Nononononono. Another week, Lars. A week. Just one. You know me, man. We've been friends for how long? Who kept your secrets for you? Me. Who's done your essays since fifth grade? Me. Come on, man. Just a week."

Lars put the plane down and gave the fox a rub, as though it were real.

"Sorry, Josh. A deal's a deal."

10 Catwoman Costumes I'd Like to Be Injustice DLC

Catwoman's had a glorious history at DC comics, alternating between being a villain and being a hero more times than the Calculator can count. To match the character's extreme bipolar disorder is an entire wardrobe full of colorful and varied costumes, each with their own unique flavor. With no shortage of potential costumes to choose from, one has to wonder why NetherRealm Studios insists on utilizing pretty much the same theme for all of the Cat's alternate outfits. Let's take a look at some of the potential these guys are really overlooking, shall we?

1. Nolanverse Catwoman

Let's just get this one out of the way. Everybody and their mom has been hoping for a complete Nolanverse costume pack since the months leading up to the release of Injustice: Gods Among Us, and so far we've all been left a little unsatisfied. And by a little, I mean completely. This Catwoman doesn't necessarily stray from the highly-equipped-super-thief-with-boobs motif, but it does portray a more sophisticated and less theatric Catwoman.

2. Green Catwoman

Not the most appealing outfit for our feisty feline, this green costume is a classic. Resembling something more like a reptile than a cat, it's kind of an odd curiosity in the character's history. While here it looks simple, I imagine it could look quite stunning rendered in the Injustice style. Each green scale glittering, moonlight splintering off her heavy necklace. Ah yes. And it would hold the same bizarreness as it always has. Such a perfect plan.

3. Patience Phillips Catwoman

I know, I know. The movie "stunk" and Patience is a "terrible" character, and basically this movie and everything from it deserves to be forgotten. Frankly, though, I don't care whether it's Selina or Patience wearing the suit, I just want the suit. In my opinion, the costume crafted for 2004's famous flop, Catwoman, is one of the best costumes ever designed for the character. It's sleek, trendy, and instantly recognizable, not to mention that it fits DC's "gritty" new attitude pretty well!

4. New Batman Adventures Catwoman

Penguin comes with the picture, unfortunately. I forgot to crop him. The New Batman Adventures is a follow-up to Batman: The Animated Series, which saw most of the villains redesigned. This isn't my favorite Catwoman for the specific reason that I chose her. This Catwoman has a very creepy, otherworldly look with her almost glowing zombie-like skin, and twisted, devilish ears. I chose this Catwoman because it would really put a different perspective on the familiar character.

5. The Catwoman

The Batman really went out of its way to come up with some extremely weird and unusual designs for famous characters, and it was pretty much all miss with me. Despite really hating this design, the big ears and over-long tail remind me of the more exaggerated Batman costumes, so it might be kind of cool to see her going to toe-to-toe against them.

6. Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe Catwoman

Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe is kind of a spiritual predecessor to Injustice: Gods Among Us, and despite NetherRealm's attempts to separate the two titles... nobody is really making the distinction, because we can all see the connection. Might as well embrace that opportunity and resurrect this pretty little number from the original game!

7. Shanghai Catwoman

This particular image was drawn by Free-man12 at DeviantArt, but the costume originates from a trilogy of short cartoons aired on the DC Nation Saturday morning block. I thought that it was really cool with a nice Asian aesthetic and that would also greatly distinguish itself in tone from the largely dark wardrobe of the world's greatest cat burglar.

8. Purple Catsuit

The purple costume is pretty identifiable and one of the character's more frequent fashions. I've never been a particular fan of it, but it wore off on me over time. I'm genuinely surprised that this one hasn't shown up sooner, and it's long overdue to make its debut.

9. Catwoman Animated

In my eyes, this is the definitive Catwoman. My childhood was populated by this incarnation of the character. She was on my television, she was in my toy box, hell, she was probably in my video games. I guess you could say I'm more of a cartoon guy than a comics guy. Either way, I'm always saddened by how overshadowed this outfit is. It's simple, stylish, and just really fitting for the character. Show it some love, NetherRealm!

10. Classic Catwoman

I was first introduced to this costume through the animated cartoon Batman: The Brave and the Bold, and it took a while to grow on me. But once it did, well, there just isn't any going back. It might not fit the cat theme very well, although it does feature the trademarked tiny ears, but it suits Selina Kyle's classy act real well. There's also a nice blend of Victorian and superhero going on, which can be something difficult to pull off. If any of Catwoman's costumes see a future DLC release, I'd like it to be this one. It's something I think most gamers simply wouldn't see coming.

Brrda the Savage: Chapter Three

Concrete spider webbed beneath his fist. A trail of wavering heat showed the demon's swerving route of escape. It screamed something loud and high pitched. Brrda's eyes flicked to the side, watching the beast carefully. Before his feet hit the ground there was a chunk of broken roof in his hand. There was a crumbling sound as his toes finally touched something solid, then another as they were dragged by the weight of his spinning body. His chest twirled, his ribs released, the anchored arm lifted away from the surface. His stony glare was set firmly on the flaming beast. His arm came around, cold chunk clenched tightly.

All at once his fingers flipped up, opening the cage around the rock. His palm pushed forward slightly, nudging it in the right direction. It broke through the air like a meteor, tossing wind off its sides. The demon's panic was clear. It hovered left, then right, up a little, back down. Brrda was sure it would hit. Sure the demon's movements were because it couldn't move quick enough in any direction.

Thunder rumbled from the dark clouds overhead.

The stone hurtled through the air.

Brrda held his breath. Winced at the first few drops of rain on his burned wrist.

Retsis clawed at the ground and ducked, watching the stone fiercely.

There was a great crash. This time not thunder.

The ground smashed, raining small pebbles into the air.

To the left was a tail of flame and smoke, the dying remnants of a sudden burst which had jettisoned the demon out of the rock's trajectory. Brrrda snorted as his eyes flew to their target. His beefy hand snatched another stone. Too slow! With a similar crackling burst the demon rocketed forward. It reached up with a blazing arm, as though reaching for the ball of fire that jumped to life in its hand. Flame fell through the air like a whistle, burning on Brrda's abs. He roared in pain, dropping the chunk of rock. Refusing to go down but in too much distress to counter, the Savage Savior tensed his muscles, splaying his fingers like claws. Another ball sparked on his chest. This time he was pushed back by the pain and the heat.

It was not the end of the demon's barrage. Fire after fire exploded on Brrda's bare body, some generously missing more vital locations to make roast of his toes. He howled, stumbled back on his raw heels. Lightning cracked across his eyes as his skull met with the sharp edge of a building banister. The fall dropped him out of the way of a deadly blast which had been directed at his face. Colored bubbles popped before him, dizziness swept over him. Something wet dripped down his neck.

Rain or... or blood?

A low growl came into his ears. It was feral and familiar. He hard Retsis' claws cut away as they leapt over the concrete. Heard her spring into the air. The angry cry of the demon. The light yet devastating puff of fire. The slump of a six-hundred pound cat falling to the ground.

Brrda weakly opened his eyes. Several feet away his companion writhed, the fur of her belly ablaze with the demon's handiwork.

Several drops landed on his forehead, reminding him of the approaching storm. His vision returned to normal as he gazed up into the sky, a hopeful glint in his eyes. The clouds began to weep, as though they had heard his plea for help. Though he was in pain, Brrda couldn't help but to smile. That was all he needed to turn this around. The water to put out the fire.

But his heart sank when he turned back to face the demon. Steam rose off its body in towers. The licking flames had grown smaller, and taken on a blue color closer to the demon's solid body, but they were still not extinguished. Not enough to ground the flying hellion, not enough to prevent it from balling up another heated burst. Brrda managed to roll away, taking the opportunity to tumble his seared flesh through a newly formed puddle. A few small sparks landed on his arm, but they hurt no more than the bites of jungle mosquitoes.

His smile returned. The rain would not win the battle for him, but it had granted him the use of his greatest asset: his strength. With a triumphant cry, the savage was in the air. He soared towards the demon, who drifted back a bit. Drifted back right into position. Brrda willed his body down, crashing into a large puddle which had formed in the crater he'd made earlier. A wave washed over the demon, putting an end to any orange that fought its way off it's body. Now Brrda could see the demon more clearly for what it was. Blue embers still struggled for life, but their heat was not enough to hide the monster's body in blaze.

Brrda pounced, pressing forward with his fist. It took but one punch. One punch filled the sky with the sound of cracking bone. One punch threw the demon to the ground. One punch sent it skidding across the surface of the roof. One punch put out what few fires remained. One punch left it unable to move. One punch revealed its true form.

One punch uncovered the girl beneath the flames.

Brrda loped over to her. At once he felt guilt rush into him. The feeling of her arm's bones crumbling beneath his knuckles still tingled in his hand. The sound of her cracking humerus haunted his ears. He fell to his knees beside her, scooping her delicate head in his arms. Blonde hair strung through his fingers. Her chest did not move with life, but a look at her lips showed that they puckered slightly with small breaths.

Not a demon. Remorse brought tears to his eyes. Not a demon. Just possessed by one. I should have known. I should have been more careful.

Mournful eyes looked over their kill. Her body was covered in bruises from the conflict, and it seemed as though Retsis had gotten at least one good scratch in on the girl's hip. Carefully he rolled her onto her side, inspecting her back for damage. Though he still seethed at the conflict, he knew better than to blame the girl for possession. And now, he had decided, she was his responsibility.

But a strange feeling came over him as he looked down her naked back. The same feeling which had taken hold of him when he had seen the picture of the woman outside the city limits. His heart throbbed as his eyes followed the contours of her body. As if on their own, his fingers gingerly traced a path down her spine. A shiver lashed through him, but it was quickly overcome by a powerful heat rising in his cheeks. Fire surged through his veins. It brought to life every inch of his being. His heart beat a mile a minute as it, too, seemed to burn.

"No!" He cried, grabbing at his head. "No. Stay out of me, demon!"

Brrda screamed, tossed his head from side to side. Behind him, Retsis perked up. She eyed her master with caution, not sure what to make of his flailing and screaming. Without warning he was off, dashing across the rooftop as though death were on his heels.

It was hours before he stopped. Hours after he had run out of breath. Hours after his limbs had lost all feeling. Hours of tumbling through puddles and bathing himself thoroughly in cold water. Hours until he was certain the demon had not taken hold of him.

And at last, at the foot of a staircase to the sidewalk, he collapsed to the ground and succumbed to the desire for rest.

It was there that he slept, unaware that he would awaken elsewhere.

Unaware that he had collapsed on the doorstep of Lady Killman.

Film Review: Iron Man 3 (2013)

Wow... okay. I just don't really know how to articulate my feelings about this movie, and the fact that I am so completely exhausted (so much so that I hadn't intended on writing anything today) isn't helping this at all. This is definitely a different kind of movie from Iron Man and Iron Man 2, and it is, in my opinion, the worst big screen outing Tony Stark's had. And boy, counting the cameos, he's had a lot of 'em!

One of the most glaring issues with this film is just how difficult it is to make any real sense of. Disregarding the out of control mutilation of the Marvel canon for a moment, there's a plot to this movie which is all around just very, very loose. So loose that I'm still having a tough time piecing it all together, although Wikipedia is doing its best to help me out. Most of my issues stem from the villain, Aldrich Killian, who is the Mandarin for this particular adaptation. A lot of people absolutely hate this, me among them. I'll get to that in a bit, though. What I want to complain about right now is how unoriginal the Killian character is and how completely non-existent his motivation and logic is.

If you've seen Iron Man 2, you're basically already familiar with Aldrich Killian. Portrayed here, he is some kind of amalgam of Whiplash and Justin Hammer. One part revenge against Tony Stark, one part force the world into signing contracts for his weapons. But in this case the weapons are unstable biological enhancements as opposed to cheap Iron Man knockoffs. To be totally honest, the result is a cheap Nitro knockoff, instead.

Actually, slight tangent here, when I first saw how the Mandarin was attacking his intended targets, I was hoping we'd actually get to see Iron Man go up against Nitro. For those of you who don't know, Nitro is basically a Bob-omb. He has the ability to explode like a bomb and reconstruct each molecule of his body. I'm not sure of his history with Iron Man, but Nitro's inclusion would have been infinitely more enjoyable than the simple Dr. Evil brand of villain which we were served instead.

Back on course. Killian's motivations are not terribly complex, but all too many. He wants nothing less than revenge against Tony for blowing him off fifteen years ago, Tony's assistance in stabilizing a highly destructive steroid which transforms people into human time bombs, the affections of one miss Pepper Potts, complete submission of the entire country, and that same country to be purchasing his currently unstable neural steroid. I'm sure I forgot something, because I'm 99.999% positive that the writers were as vague on how to handle the character as the movie was in telling us just what he wanted to do.

The worst of it all was that attempting to make sense of this guy's plan doesn't work out when he just contradicts it all as he goes. He wants to finish his prototype weapon, but he kills the woman who developed it. He wants Tony to help him stabilize it, so he blows up the man's house and sends in squad after squad of elite super-powered mercenaries to kill him. He wants to ragebone Pepper Potts, so he poisons her with his unstable medicine and threatens to detonate her body if Tony doesn't help him. Let's not forget the part where he wants the United States military to purchase his weapons, so he coerces the Vice President onto his side, plans on assassinating the actual President of the United States, using the VP as a puppet leader, and then... selling the weapons to what is essentially his army using what is essentially his money? Wait, what? Just. What's even going on here?

Throughout all of this we're treated to Tony Stark routinely coming into conflict with individuals who have survived the neural steroid. These individuals feature a list of powers including: enhanced speed, strength, and agility, an ability to recover from any and all wounds in seconds, fire breath, a habit of exploding when pissed off, and the wonderfully nifty gift of transforming into something resembling a zombie and Blackheart's victims from the first Ghost Rider flick, something which I shouldn't have to say is ridiculously out of place in an Iron Man film.

None of this is even to consider how this movie handled the character of the Mandarin, essentially Iron Man's version of Ra's al Ghul. Okay, this character had to be modernized. He was a terrible Chinese stereotype, something had to be done. This movie went with the road of making him a potentially non-existent villain, a false figurehead for a terrorist organization that doesn't exist (only it does). Because of this, Killian eventually declares "I AM THE MANDARIN!" despite being completely wrong.

You see, having Killian make that declaration, calling him the Mandarin at all, defeats the purpose of making the Mandarin an imaginary threat in the first place. I could actually get behind that to some extent. That would make the Mandarin kind of like an evil version of V from V for Vendetta where the villain is an idea simply being represented by a person. That's cool. Unfortunately by making Killian decide "Oh, hey, I'm the real Mandarin" it undoes that idea of an imaginary villain and gives this name, "Mandarin", an actual identity. The opposite of its intended purpose. This greatly degrades the message the film wanted to get across with its version of the Mandarin, and the removal of that one line would have made a world of difference in creating a more coherent plot for both film and villain.

It still doesn't undo the whole poisoning of the lady he loves thing, but it would have been a start.

As for the rest of the movie? Well, it's alright. It has a much heavier focus on Tony Stark outside of the armor than in, which I thought was pretty cool. The whole premise is that the character is a little shaken after his encounter with Norse gods and intergalactic space invaders, and he doesn't quite know how to handle this reality. He hides from his worries, and from his personal responsibilities, in his armor, which causes strife between he and the live-in-lady, Pepper Potts. The movie is framed as Stark himself telling a story, which is actually wrapped up after the credits with a neat little bow.

The primary exploration here is: "Who is Tony Stark?" Now, it's not the audience that has to know who Tony Stark is, because as a country of avid movie goers, we already know. But Tony has to know. This movie is about Tony proving to himself that it's really he who is the hero, not Iron Man. So if you go into this expecting (as the trailers would naturally lead you to) a face full of Iron Man like you've seen before, stop right now. This is more like Tony Stark: The Movie than Iron Man 3.

You know what, though? That's okay. This story is worth telling, and it's a natural progression for the character. For the first time in this lengthy Marvel Cinematic franchise do we see Tony Stark seriously out of it. The second movie we saw him throw a couple of depressed, alcoholic fits, but this movie really takes this character who defines himself as a party animal and rips that right out of him. This Tony Stark is a troubled shadow of the man he once was, and I mean, we all go through that, right? It's a powerful emotional journey, and I was greatly satisfied in that aspect of the film.

They also took this road with Stark's best pal Rhodey, better known as War Machine (although in this film he is rechristened as "Iron Patriot"). Rhodey's usefulness while in the War Machine/Iron Patriot persona is left largely to the imagination, as he isn't shown engaging in much conflict while wearing the suit. Instead the suit is stripped from him and we're treated to examples of Rhodes also demonstrating that he is the hero, not the War Machine. I thought this was a pretty cool way to tie the character with Tony's story arc (although indirectly) while also solidifying his role as a hero.

Pepper... I was almost positive we were going to get Rescue here at some point, and there were a number of scenes where I would have given her the armor that this particular creative team did not take. We do get to see Pepper briefly wearing Stark's armor and demonstrating potential ability with its functions, perhaps maybe hinting at the inclusion of the Rescue armor in a future film (if there should happen to be one). Otherwise the Pepper we get in this film is kind of a bummer. She gets really pissed off over little things and seems to think the Iron Man persona creates a wedge between her and Tony, despite it bringing them together in the first place and, y'know, saving their lives on multiple occasions. She is empty of the wit which she provided in previous films, remaining a grim figure throughout its entirety

Generally the movie was okay, although there is definitely a bit of deus ex machina going on, and a very loose story which doesn't come together all that coherently. There are some genuine laughs here and there, and a few pretty cool scenes, but it basically feels like... well... nothing. Too much of the film is spent away from Tony Stark's character development, and anything that is not that particular subplot is simply a shallow and schizophrenic rehash of contradicting ideas, morals, and a villain serving as a subpar clone for ones we've already seen.

I really can live without this movie, although I will inevitably buy the DVD when it comes out. For two reasons, though: because I already have all the other ones, and because I want Marvel to keep making movies. I just want them to step back and reevaluate what they're doing just a little bit.

Really though, I can't recommend that anybody see this movie. It's not worth today's ticket prices, and it probably won't even be worth the cost of the Blu-ray. Unfortunately, I can't shake the feeling that the most appropriate place for this film is the SyFy Channel on a Friday night. I wanted to give it an average score, seven out of ten, but I really can't. The average score goes to movies I look forward to someday watching again, and, well, I'm not so eager to do that. But it isn't really bad, so I guess I'll have to relegate it to the Devil's realm. Six out of ten, Tony. Hope you come back strong.

Film Review: Predators (2010)

As promised, I conclude the stand alone trio of Predator films with 2010's entry: Predators. Easily better than Predator 2 as a sequel and better than Predator as a movie, Predators actually has a cast of developed characters with personalities and history which all feeds who they are and how they react to the situation in which they find themselves. While none of these characters will be particularly unfamiliar to fans of the action genre, that doesn't mean they're boring or unengaging. Actually, the opposite is pretty true. I found myself, for the first time in this franchise, actually invested in the characters. In the first two films I didn't really care who lived or who died, but in this movie I was sad when basically any character died. I mean, counting through the cast real quick...

Three. I did not care about three characters. One of whom redeems himself in his last minute, and two of whom I did care about until they turned out to be snakes.

That's just the humans, though. The aliens themselves, well. This film introduces a new breed of Yautja which has evidently been warring with the more familiar aliens for quite a while. These new Yautja, referred to as "Black" Yautja in the fan community, are slightly larger, much stronger, and more agile than their classic counterparts, and they seem to exhibit a much less honorable code of conduct. They also come equipped with their own brand of technological hunting tools, most of which feel more primitive than what we've seen before, although there are instances of technology which appears more advanced.

These Yautja are less interested in hunting creatures in their natural habitats and instead choose to import animals to their galactic game preserve, which appears to be one of many moons as opposed to being its own planet. Despite advertisements and early descriptions claiming this "Planet" to be the Predator home world, it isn't anything of the sort. The Predators come every season in a group of three and establish a hunting camp while they go about slaughtering that season's prey. As typical for the series, this is probably some kind of rite of passage (although these Predators seem to be rather seasoned themselves).

Additionally, there is a classic Predator who serves as a captive of the others. I find it interesting that the Black Yuatja have taken one of their enemies prisoner as opposed to simply killing it, something which they later prove very capable of doing. It might be that they intended to use him as some kind of gambit, or maybe they just enjoyed humiliating him. Not sure, but it seemed oddly out of character for the Predators which we have grown familiar with, and more so for this breed, which is characterized as being far more brutal.

Despite their emphasis on the kill over the hunt (which begs the question of whether or not these Predators were at all inspired by the Bad Bloods introduced in the related comics and novels), the Black Yautja do exhibit some honor, in one notable case of having more than the previous Predators. One of the humans brought to the game reserve is a Yakuza clan member who finds a katana which belonged to a shogun who had been abducted centuries prior. This Yakuza man challenges one of the Black Yautja to a melee-exclusive conflict, similar to Billy in Predator and King Willy in Predator 2. Unlike those two battles, however, we are actually treated to a really incredible duel between these two honor-bound warriors which serves as an homage to the amazing action films of Asian origin, particularly the fantastical samurai and ninja films of Japan.

While this film is good as a SciFi film, it doesn't quite live up to my expectations for a Predator film. It kind of missed the mark on that "Predator" feel. The previous movies had this feeling of being alone despite taking place in fairly crowded environments, and yet that feeling is never present in Predators despite the protagonists being far more alone than any of their predecessors had been. There also wasn't quite enough examination on the side of either party. The previous Predator titles focused quite heavily on humans learning about Yautja, and Yautja learning about humans. I can understanding reducing this focus because it's ground which has already been covered, but the premise for Predators introduces whole new ground which isn't really utilized to its fullest advantage: the game reserve.

Our protagonists are dropped in the middle of an alien world potentially galaxies away and it... happens to look just like every other Earth rain forest? What's the deal? I understand going for something with a feel much more like the original Predator movie, and I get that maybe there were some budgetary concerns, but this is such a missed opportunity. Why bother going all the way into space and teasing a glimpse at the Predator home worlds and then not give us anything even close? This was their chance to give us a truly amazing setting equally as barbaric as the antagonists we've come to love. Even if the reserve wasn't ever intended to be on the home world, maybe this moon happens to orbit the Predator planet. What kind of environment would these creatures have evolved from? That's what should have been done here, and replacing the exploration of the Predator character with the exploration of its world would have been fantastic.

They did this a tiny bit by introducing an environment which is explained to be some kind of drilling facility which had been abandoned. We're never told what species had been drilling or why they had left their station, but we get to explore it a little bit... Unfortunately it, too, looks extremely Earthly and familiar. What it lacks in visual, though, it does introduce in intrigue. I mean, why was there a drilling station there? Why was it abandoned? Was it a Yautjan drill? What were they drilling for? Did the captive classic Predator work at this station and get himself kidnapped by the Black Yautja? Why did the Yautja not continue the drilling if there was some kind of precious resource hidden within this moon? Nothing answered, unfortunately, because this movie doesn't care about any of that.

This movie cares about a group of aliens killing people. So that's what it does. It does it splendidly, at that. For the first time in the series (note, that I have been and will be not counting Alien vs. Predator in this review, as that is kind of its own franchise and while I love what it adds to the mythos of the Predator, it's not what this film was aspiring to relate to) we have compelling human characters, cool villain characters, and the chance to explore an alien world and the home culture of these creatures we love to hate. But we don't do that. We just kill, talk about killing, and kill some more. I really shouldn't have expected more, but it is kind of a shame.

To be honest, I'd love a movie focusing on the Yautja that didn't have such a focus on killing. These are extremely fascinating creatures, and I think that quality alone is what has made them such powerful forces in pop culture. I think that without whatever aspect it is that makes the Predator a likable character despite its awful villainy, it would have remained nothing more than a B-Movie from the 80s. But it does have this quality, and it's that quality we expect when we see a Predator film. Well, this movie was largely devoid of that quality, so now I'd like to see a movie that takes that quality and amplifies it by ten.

I did have one other small beef with this film: it was gory. Not excessive gory, like what you'd expect if you went to see Saw or anything like that, but its gore was definitely a couple steps further than any of the previous films (this time including AvP). That's okay in itself, because it would mean they kept it to a fairly realistic level of gore, but there are a couple of instances of extreme stupid gore for the sake of extreme stupid gore. Emphasis on the stupid.

In one instance when we are introduced to the hunting dogs these Predators use (the dogs are a cool addition with a terrible design, by the way), one of them is shot in the head and promptly... explodes. Like a balloon. It just pops, organs everywhere. This was stupid, and in that same segment several other dogs are shot and killed without this explosion. It was needlessly grotesque shock factor. The other instance comes much later in the film where a Predator reaches into a man's back and rips out his spine with the skull on top, like something you'd see in Mortal Kombat as a fatality. As we all know, this can't happen, and Mortal Kombat is stupid gore for the sake of stupid gore. I hated it. Don't do stupid gore in a franchise that wasn't built on stupid gore.

Oh, also, there's needless alien decapitation which reminded me an awful lot of the ending of Underworld. These decapitations are also pretty stupid. Just thought you should know.

I don't know. I guess I just hate needless and outlandish brutality in a franchise which, despite being savage and brutal, has typically kept itself classy enough to avoid being insultingly moronic. This film--like Predator 2, in some ways--has decided that it doesn't like wearing a tux and would rather... rip out spinal whips.

Generally though, I found this experience to be more than enjoyable. Predators has earned itself a place to stay in my DVD library, and it has earned itself a seven out of ten. I was thinking about giving this an eight for its superb cast of characters, but it really left me wanting for something bigger and better than what it was. Really, though, you have to see it for yourself and decide if it fits the bill or not. I can't be the one to do that for you. Not this time (but definitely most other times).

Literature Review: Animal Ark: Husky with a Heart by Ben M. Baglio (2005)

Husky with a Heart is a book related to Ben M. Baglio's Animal Ark series, though it doesn't appear to be part of the main franchise. Despite this, readers who jump right in with this title having never heard of or read the previous books will definitely feel a little left behind. They may even be tempted to quit after the hundredth vague allusion to a past entry, and they probably should do that. It would save them a four-month slog through a miserable book short enough that it should only take an hour.

I seriously can't understand how a book can be so dreadful. I'd been reading this since mid-January and only just now finished it, which is ridiculous considering its reading level of attempted-Second Grade and its measly 136 pages of larger-than-average font. No part of this book was fun at all, and I found myself staring at the ceiling for hours after each paragraph simply because the cracks in the paint have more life and imagination than this vapid script. Not only are the characters unbelievably corny and not at all lifelike, often becoming irritating by a sense of falseness about them all (probably because the author knows they're being fake and can't make themselves take it at all seriously), but they have absolutely no personality. I'm not sure if this is because the series had already been ten-years established by the time this one came out, but it really does nothing for the reader other than highlight just how empty this book is going to be.

Blank-faced characters aside, the writing itself feels fake and forced, like the aunt at Thanksgiving who acts all smiles and talks in that annoyingly contrived sing-song voice despite the fact that every single person older than the age of fetus can see right through her, and they all would love nothing more than to punch her ass out into the cold. I know this book is written with children in mind, but I don't think that's any reason to be pretentious. At least, not obviously so. I always believe that speaking down to your audience is the surest way to lose them, and no part of this book acknowledges that children are equal, let alone capable of understanding big grown-up words. Remembering back to my youth when I was a much more avid reader, I can remember being very pissed off by books with this talk-down attitude. It was the quickest way to send me running back to the library, and in my busy adult (ha!) life, that translates simply to writing essays warning other people, and hopefully a number of them within the intended audience, not to touch the title with a yard stick. Not even ten of them strung together with a carefully planned construction of pipe cleaners, Elmer's glue, and tape.

Really, though, it's too easy to go on and on about what a book does wrong. It's much more difficult to talk about what a book (or any piece of media) does right. Perhaps as a personal challenge, I'll go ahead right now and try to think of something nice to say about this ghostwritten garbage. Thumper, I'll do ye proud!

Let's see now...

Hm...

Well, there's a family tree at the beginning dating back several generations of Husky and detailing which ones the protagonist will meet during the story. That's pretty cool. I think I looked at it for five minutes or so just thinking about the histories of each dog, which was 500% more exciting than anything found within the actual novel.

I won't bore you with any of the other reasons the book is terrible, because I really shouldn't have to. It's straight up horrible. However, I will discuss one other negative: there isn't a story. There really isn't. Pay attention, because this part's important. Especially if you're a writer. Do you remember that big wave they teach you in elementary school which details the story progression of the book you're reading? They teach you that for a reason. They teach you that because a book that does not have a beginning, middle, and end will not succeed in satisfying your audience. If you think you can spend 100 pages on "Beginning" and maybe shuffle up "Rising Action", but not quite make it to the peak, and then you write the words "The end", you need to go back to school.

--Note: I understand some writers, me among them, do not necessarily heed that advice for artistic reasons or simply because that's the style we write. That's fine and all, do what works for you on a personal level. Just understand that what satisfied your artistic need will not always satisfy the needs of your audience. If you are okay with this (as I am) then proceed with not surfing the entire wave.--

In short: this book is awful. Of all the books I've come across in my years, so far this is the only one I've wanted to destroy or to in some way remove from my existence. I won't be doing that for the simple face that I want my potential future children to be literate and to choose their own interests, but I'll be praying for the rest of my days that their eyes never chance upon this one on the shelf. Speaking of ones, that's what this title has earned. One out of ten. Because it sucks.

--Note: While uploading the 1/10 picture, I noticed that I had made a 0/10 picture! Oh, how I was so tempted to use it!--

Curse of the Undead King: Chapter Four

Cracked pavement scraped under Mrrda's talon-like toes. The sound was something like chalk, as though the king were drawing a path from the Secret Lands into the modern world. Rattling in his ribs was the saber, whose lust had still been unfulfilled. That would not last long, though. The powdered remains of his shoulder were pulsing more wildly than ever, calling loudly and hotly. It was a strange sensation, to feel his body screaming from so far off. It was something like a distant fire licking him warmly. The missing bits of his body burned with desire.

The moon was watchful of the out-of-time skeleton. Its light made the ground glow, and met with the trees and grass to cast long shadows along the road. There were few with him at night, but some nocturnal creatures watched from their hideout in the foliage. Many of them were smaller creatures, wary of this new and bizarre beast. Some, though, were starving and eager, and could smell the marrow in Mrrda's ancient bones. He warned them away with shouts and a glint of his famished blade.

Some, however, were not so frightened.

Mrrda was aware of their presence since he had left the Secret Lands, but the darkness pulsing from his bones had kept them off for the past several nights. Now, though, they became used to the sensation and were growing more bold. He caught a glimpse of one from his peripheral sight. Its tall, burly shadow loomed over the top of a small bush. A pair of similar shadows stood up on either flank. Mrrda could feel their eyes on him. He stopped in their gaze, drawing his hand to the hilt of his sword.

A shiver made him tremble. Mrrda was familiar with these beasts.

Terribly familiar.

He tried to speak, managed to choke despite having no throat and no saliva. After a hesitation and a calming breath, he whispered at the shadows: "I have nothing good to eat. I'm all bones and no meat."

The lead shadow made a move, something like flinching, at the sound of Mrrda's voice. Leaves and twigs crunched as it stepped back with one foot, as though bracing itself. The two behind it flexed their arms and shoulders, but their glowing eyes flicked nervously to their leader.

"You can speak," the center shadow rumbled. Its voice was deep and full of gravel with beastly undertones which gave it a quality not unlike a lion's growl.

"Yes," said the king with an air of menace. "I can speak to all creatures."

The shadow stepped through the leaves, ripping the bush apart with its bulk. Its features became clear as moonlight washed over it. Shaggy red-orange fur which bounced with monstrous step it took. In its mouth was a set of large, jagged teeth growing up from black gums. Its fingernails were long and sharp, but its toenails had been cracked and splintered by the forest. The creatures massive brow hung heavily over its large black eyes. Its chest puffed as it breathed the chilly air.

With a flare of nostrils it said: "Stories of other talking creatures are passed down from the elders."

An uneasy coldness came over the Undead King. He stiffened with apprehension and curled his fingers tight around the sword.

"They tell us so that we will never forget."

The create huffed loudly, pushing off a cloud of hot air.

"So that we will never forget those who slaughtered us!"

It brought its great fists down. Mrrda nimbly rolled away, leaving the beast to hammer a crater into the paved road. Its recovery was extraordinarily quick for such a hulking beast, and before the king had finished his somersault the bulging arm was swinging round to clock the back of his skull. Mrrda tumbled a ways. The sword dragged on the ground, grabbing at the grooved surface. The hilt jumped in Mrrda's hand, but he never let it go. Not even as he sprawled across the earth, his jaw lost somewhere in the darkness.

The creature jumped forward, landing at the heels of Mrrda, who had not yet pulled himself off the ground.

"Those who enslaved us!"

Two meaty fists pounded into Mrrda's back. His spine splintered halfway between the ribs and the pelvis. In desperation he reached out with all his will, commanding his body to move. His disconnected legs sprang to life, kicking at the massive beast. They were quickly thrown aside, but it had provided enough time for Mrrda to spin onto his back and jab the sword into the beast's shoulder.

It threw its head back and howled as metal carved into the thick flesh. With a snort it slapped Mrrda with its knuckles. The king's upper half soared through the air. This time he lost the saber. It fell to the ground as he flew, landing with a clatter. There was a crash as his skull landed at a tree, followed shortly by another crash as the monster landed at the end of his tailed spine.

Propped on his ribs, his skull cracked between the eyes, Mrrda looked weakly into the heart of his foe. The other two appeared over its shoulders, grinning wildly with their yellow fangs.

"Those who created the hairless things. Those things that would come and destroy everything."

"If we didn't destroy it," Mrrda sneered, "You would have."

The creature's eyes bugged with fury. It grunted, heaved its mighty hand into the air.

Mrrda could feel it. The pain in his cracked skull. The dizzying coldness that oozed from it. A sensation he'd not felt since his life.

So. His thoughts were scattered and dreamy. I have a weak spot after all.

The beast's fist fell forward. A sickening crack shattered the calmness of the night.

Film Review: Predator 2 (1990)

Well... this movie was everything I was afraid the first one would be. The acting could hardly be called such, the emphasis was on shocking imagery and brutality, and it was strung together so loosely with so much stupidity that I can't possible believe there was actually a script at any point during production. Unlike the first movie, which featured a number of interesting moments of character exploration on the parts of both Dutch and Jungle Hunter, there is no such exploration of the Yautja or their ways (with a little exception, which I will get to). Amidst all the traditional slasher film crap this movie attempts to emulate the stimulating scenes from the first film, including even a scene where City Hunter is tending to his wounds using the same medicinal kit that Jungle Hunter had been prepared with. This truly goes to show how uninspired the film was, and really proves that it was nothing more than a cash grab.

This movie is generally bad, but there are some good points which bring it up into the realm of merely mediocre. Unlike the first film which had very little in the way of developed or interesting characters, this one does have a couple of cool characters who are a bit more fleshed out despite and are played... okay. At least, they really shine when compared to the fumbling oafs around them. The protagonist, Mike Harrigan, is a genuinely better character than Dutch was for a few reasons. Namely, he has weaknesses. Dutch was the epitome of a male fantasy. He was powerful, smart, and the leader. Dutch was perfect. Harrigan is older, somewhat out of shape, and he has a heart condition. He's completely out of his league when dealing with drug runners let alone a Predator. This makes it all the more satisfying to see his eventual triumph over this creature which has taken everything from him.

Additionally there's the character of Jerry Lambert, a glory hound with a reputation as the best in his department who transfers into the war-torn drug district of Los Angeles to turn the tables. Despite his reputation, Jerry is at first a very annoying character with a jaw that's a little too eager, but these quirks grow on you over time. Jerry is like that friend who annoys the piss out of you while he's there, but you sorely miss him when he's not. And best of all, you know he's loyal, to a fault even. When push comes to shove, Jerry knows how to bite his tongue and get the shit done, and right away he bounces back from that. He's just an amazingly versatile and appealing character, and despite running the risk of being horrendously exaggerated, Bill Paxton found a nice balance for the character.

The rest of the cast... sucks. They're all terribly acted, poorly written, and the majority of their dialogue is "Fuck". We've got two other officers working for Harrigan who are little more than annoyances with some absolutely terrible delivery in all regards, an FBI agent with a stick up his ass (naturally), and a couple of drug cartels. Admittedly, I did like King Willy, the Jamaican drug lord, and he is given one of the coolest scenes in the film which, in stark contrast to the rest of the movie, is really damn cool. The Predator drops down from a rooftop with its cloaking still active, stomping through a puddle as he approaches the pimp. Water splashes on invisible legs in one of the few instances where the Predator's invisibility effects are actually phenomenally well done. His suit begins to malfunction as the water gets into the circuitry, buzzing electricity all over. Slowly he stomps forward while Willy waits patiently, drawing a sword from within his cane. They stand apart by about five feet, each preparing and taking poses so dramatic, and so beautiful, and so cool that it just gets your adrenaline going. If this were any other movie, you'd know an amazing action sequence was about to commence.

Unfortunately, this is Predator 2, and the director took this opportunity to cheesily cut from Willy's battle cry to his decapitated mouth dangling from the City Hunter's meaty claw. Sucks.

City Hunter isn't nearly as interesting of a character as Jungle Hunter was, but it was nice to see a little emotion from the Predator. We not only see anger, confusion, and the inquisitive nature of the Yautja species, but we see fear when Harrigan learns how to use one of the Yautjan weapons and manages to deactivate the wrist bomb, not only taking away City Hunter's honorable suicide, but also sending the Predator to what could have very easily been his death. I still don't like the City Hunter nearly as much as I like the Jungle Hunter, but just because he doesn't match up doesn't mean he's a bad character. Actually, the opposite. City Hunter feels like a much less practiced Predator than his predecessor had been, demonstrated by his larger arsenal and his tendency to fall into traps and make mistakes that I don't think the Jungle Hunter would have. Additionally, City Hunter is accompanied by an entire group of other Predators who don't participate in the hunt. Their purpose is never really explained, but it came across to me as though they were a sort of evaluation committee. City Hunter is also a bit more reckless than Jungle Hunter would have been, and he seems to have not quite figured out how strictly he wants to adhere to his moral code.

The musical score is the same as that from the first film, which means it's good. Unfortunately it doesn't quite fit the aesthetic of an urban jungle as well as it did a tropical jungle. It would have been one thing had they attempted to give the tribal sounds a more industrial tone and feel, but they just reused the same recordings and it doesn't fit very well.

The settings themselves are generally pretty generic, although there are a few cool shots of alleys and such with the neon lights of pubs and clubs bouncing off puddles and broken bottles. A lot of the movie, though, takes place in these weird makeshift bunkers by the FBI agents, and these are lit with only red emergency lamps which makes it all a little too difficult to look at. There is also one segment on a train which is absolutely terrible, and I'm sure if I had been watching this in the dark it would have given me a seizure.

Ultimately I feel this movie gave in too easily to the temptations of the more basic slasher film, with an emphasis on sex and impurity that wasn't found in the first film, and a habit of using tried and truly terrible splatter flick tropes. Happily, though, is the lack of splatter to accompany the flick. Ultimately I was disappointed with this as both a movie, but especially as a sequel. It always hurts worse when there are some good things going for it, a few good things, and that those good things are really good and surrounded by things which are really bad. You can see the potential and you want to color the movie with those good bits, but that's not true.

They are, however, good enough to pull this film from absolutely abysmal to remedial. Four out of ten for this disappointing flick.

Are Ghosts Made of Electricity?

Before I get into this I'd just like to say that it's all just fun stuff to think about, and I can't say that I'll actually take this approach to spiritual beings in my fiction.

Are ghosts real? To some that answer is obvious, while others shuffle their feet and admit that they don't know. All responses are fine. I am personally a believer in beings which we do not yet understand and which we may interpret to be demons or ghosts or other such creatures of ethereal spirit. I can't say whether they are the disturbed souls of the once living, the malevolent monsters of an eternal volcano, the gatherers of the damned, or the granters of wishes. Perhaps some of them are, and I'll get into the once-living aspect of all that in just a short while.

But first let me propose to you that alongside us more material creatures evolved another biological form which had for its building blocks energy. Instead of being made up of cells this entire spectrum (perhaps referred to as a "Plane"?) of life is made up of photons or other such energy particles, probably many of which we have yet to discover. The majority of this energy probably cannot interact with the material world directly, and the same is true of the reverse, so both biological spectrums could continue a peaceful coexistence without ever discovering the other is there (until one invents and applies the proper technology, of course).

However, maybe among both forms of life are individuals who are capable of breaking these spectral barriers. We all know that the living creatures of the material world are surrounded by an electric field of sorts. It could be possible that individuals with more potent electric fields could use them, perhaps even by accident, to interact with energy beings. And it might also be possible that beings from the energy spectrum with frequencies (sorry, I skipped a step! Energy vibrates at specific frequencies and those frequencies determine what and how it is interpreted! That's real science by the way, it's why you can see colors.) similar enough to specific humans or perhaps similar enough to an average electromagnetic frequency could interact with us, here on our spectrum of matter and physical stuff.

If that were the case, we might call these creatures "Demons", "Ghosts", "Genies", and what have you, and an argument could be made for the accuracy of those claims (I was going to go into that here, but it seems like a topic worthy of its own discussion). Of course reaching this theory of energy creatures requires going about the scientific method all backwards, which is unfortunate. That doesn't make it any less fun to think about.

See, what are some common things in ghost lore and ghost hunting? Well, typically people are aware of the presence of a spirit before they even see it, often they describe sensations of numbness or tingling. This isn't too different from how you can feel a storm coming by sensing the static in the air. Energy beings would have a similar effect on us. Also, most ghost hunters swear by some kind of electromagnetic device to pick up on "Spikes" in a given hunt or room. Why would these sensors detect something which was not made of electricity? (Again, assuming they occasionally detect any real ghosts at all.) Why is it that ghosts and demons seem to mess with electronic equipment like cameras when they are around? Well, for the same reason an EMP would. When you get these colliding energy fields, things happen. Just like how you can hear the tingle of a television turned on from the other room.

Could beings made of energy pass through solid objects the way ghosts pass through walls? Yeah, absolutely. And it might even be possible that creatures born of and into energy could in some ways manipulate the vibrations of their bodies to appear visible or invisible to us simple human folk. This might also be why poltergeists tend to simply whip things around a room as opposed to handling them with any care. All they can do is charge it with static or magnetism and pull, and hope it goes where they want it to.

But dead people couldn't possibly be among these energy creatures, right? Wrong.

As I mentioned earlier, we all have an electromagnetic field surrounding us, possibly even manipulating us. A slight derail to give another fun thought: many people believe that we are "Spiritual beings having a physical experience". Maybe there's a little truth to that. Maybe instead of the electrofield responding to the thoughts of our brain, our brain responds to the thoughts of the electrofield. Imagine that the electromagnetic field is a series of strings connecting into the brain. We already know that applying shocks to specific parts of the nervous system can make the body perform certain tasks. Isn't it possible that our electrofield shocks our brain to make the body perform what we need it to? In effect, making us a being driving some kind of shell?

That thought alone brings all sorts of new possibilities to the realms of, say, telepathy. If you have two electromagnetic fields crossing into each other, the way you would if two humans stood close enough together, it should be theoretically possible for the "Switchboards" (brains) to interpret the frequencies of both fields, or if it's the fields themselves which do the thinking well, then the thoughts are all mingled and such.

And remember what I mentioned earlier about poltergeists maybe only being able to charge objects with static and whip them across a room? Sounds kind of like telekinesis, doesn't it?

Back to ghosts. If our electric field does hold some portion of our personality and memory within it (which it could), then what happens to the us when our body dies? Logically, that field should simply disperse (and if you aren't keeping up with how I'm tying this into a billion religions, this dispersal would lead our electricity to join the atmosphere and contribute to the collective energy of our world, being a sort of unified pool of all electric souls. This would be the collective "Life stream" or "Ether" talked about in some religious theory), but perhaps there are individuals, as I mentioned earlier, with abnormally powerful fields. It might be possible for those individuals to hold their energy together in some way, thus becoming a ghost.

Maybe those ghosts can then inhabit new bodies (resurrection) or simply remain on the planet as a ghost, doin' ghost things. That ghosts do.

The other fun thing about this, is that it would effectively make the electromagnetic field of each individual their soul, or their aura.

Whether all this is true or not, who knows? I don't. I like to think so, it's what makes sense to me. Just something fun to think about. I hope you have fun with it, too.

AFTERTHOUGHT: I meant to include this in the main body, but I completely forgot about it. If there are beings made of energy, this might explain why the light can protect us from them, particularly now that we use electronic lighting. It might be that our lights disturb the frequencies of energy creatures in ways that make them unable to manifest a visual form and possibly prevent them from charging a cling to physical objects. It could also be that the photons from all light sources disturb them in some ways. I do think, within the context of this thought exercise, that the rise in electronic appliances has directly contributed to the decrease in ghost sightings.

Sorry For the Lack of Fiction

I apologize for the lack of fiction this week. I've been having quite a headache working on a project for CreateSpace to acquaint myself with the system for a potential Adolescence paperback copy. Turns out all I had to do to get CS to stop ignoring me was save in PDF/A, who knew? Anyways, I did actually intend to begin a new Thursday serial today titled "Fire Lily", which would also tie in with my other serieals ("Brrda the Savage", and "Curse of the Undead King"). The thing is, I had started "Fire Lily" at a time before I'd decided to attempt this living approach to my literature, so the first chapter is already written out in a notebook and it's something I need to transcribe.

And it's way longer than I thought it was. It's not anything too long, really, only ten pages (about three thousand words--three times longer than my typical chapters), but it's far too long to be typing up at five in the morning. I'll have to work on it in little bits throughout the week and hopefully have it up by next Thursday instead. I also apologize for the absence of a Brrda update this week. I had originally intended to make it up for you all on Wednesday, but then Wednesday became Thursday, and I was ripping all my hair out with the stress of figuring out what was wrong with CreateSpace and writing the review, and the articles, and the story... I just...

I've decided that it would be far less taxing for me to forgive myself a little more, and if I miss a day to shrug it off and wait for the next scheduled day to come around. This doesn't mean that I won't be trying like hell to make my deadlines, but I'm also trying to keep what little sanity I have left. So that's how I came to this decisions. And it's kind of a huge relief to have come to it, not just because I don't have to worry about doing the catch up, but because I like having figured out a method that's suitable for me. It lifts a certain amount of pressure to finally be finding myself and finding out what kind of routine suits me best.

Anyways, I hope you accept my apologies, and I look forward to serving some savage stories in the future. Expect Mrrda to show up tomorrow as scheduled.

So Why Do We Have Telephones?

Yesterday I talked about how we should do away with designated consoles, and I have a few other reasons which I might touch on in yet another future post, but today I'd like to talk about something else which has become utterly and completely obsolete despite remaining a very powerful presence in our everyday lives: the telephone.

Note that I am also speaking of cell phones as well. All phones.

Now, I understand some of the purpose of keeping the phone. It provides a constant line of communication to nearly everywhere else in the country, and to so many places outside of US borders. We have something else that does that, though, and you're using it right now: the Internet. The only purpose I can possibly think of for keeping phone service with how advanced our Internet has become would be for emergency calls. It's always good for a population to be able to ring up the fire patrol or the police if there's any kind of emergency. I can dig that argument, and I can see the potential value in maintaining phone lines for that purpose.

However, there isn't any particular reason for phones to exist in the form they do, and there isn't any particular reason for our population to continue paying ludicrous bills each and every month just so we can speak into a microphone at our grandmothers. This is particularly true when you consider the fact that various free communication services have offered voice chat via the Internet for over a decade. I remember using voice chat on AIM when I was maybe ten or eleven, and hell, at this point we have cameras on everything and a video chat to go with it.

Why then, do we keep paying this corporations which have taught us to believe that we need them when all we really need is an iPod-like device (I believe I will refer to these as Tiny Tablets from now on) and an app to handle the voice chat? Speak into your microphone, your voice goes over the Wi-Fi, and blame, through the power of the Internet it ends up in the ear of your comrade! Easy, peasy, simple. Even those emergency lines I mentioned earlier could be set up with this app and have operators monitoring transmissions over it in addition to the old telephone lines until those finally go out of style.

The best part about this? There isn't any reason that it shouldn't be free, and at the most expensive 2.99 like every other app. Of course the drawback is that it would require all locations to have an Internet connection, which has become a large point of contention in recent months with the latest wave of video game consoles supposedly demanding always on Internet. Naturally, Internet connections are another thing we, the people, need to wrestle away from private corporations. There is no reason for entire towns to not be draped in an all-encompassing Wi-Fi umbrella, free to access for all individuals within its protective grasp.

Set up a better Internet service for the population, give us phone apps, cut away the corporate death grip on the everyday communication that makes our country work, and you'll soon find that we have a better world after all.

10 Raven Costumes I'd Like to Be Injustice DLC

Not too long ago I talked about which Batman costumes I thought would make pretty cool DLC for Injustice: Gods Among Us. I've been thinking about which costumes I'd like for other characters, particularly Raven, whose portrayal in the game has left me largely... unhappy. I admit that this is due in part to my preference for the animated incarnations of the Teen Titans characters, but the Raven featured in Injustice doesn't even do her comic counterpart a whole lot of justice. Unfortunately, Raven doesn't have a whole lot to work with when it comes to costumes. I tried my best! Let's see what I came up with...

1. Animated Raven

Of course Raven's animated form was going to make this list, might was well get her out of the way right off the bat. This is the Raven with which I am most familiar, and despite being a rabid fan of this character I'm not completely convinced that the look could be pulled off in Injustice. The Raven featured in NetherRealm's game is a much older Raven than the one from this cartoon, and her outfit just might not look right on a taller character with more adult proportions. Regardless, I'd to see them at least attempt something in this vein.

2. Bikini Raven

I don't know exactly where this Raven is from, but she looks like a fantasy pulled direct out of Beast Boy's mind. It's obviously from the comics, and I'm sure that if I did a little more digging around the DC Database, I could figure it out (though, the DC and Marvel wikis are sorely lacking in a lot of information and are extremely disorganized. I actually hate going there). Either way, I'm always on the lookout for something different when it comes to alternate costumes, and this certainly fits the bill... but not as much as the next one...

3. Witchy-Poo (Elseworlds)

I've never read an Elseworlds comic, but I guess the general idea is similar to Marvel's What If...? series of single issue alternate realities. DC Database assures me that this is an actual alternate Raven and not something ripped out of DeviantArt, so I'll have to take their word for it. At first I wasn't going to include this Raven at all, and I know most people will be appalled at its inclusion, but there's something kind of cool about the anime-esque battle suit she's wearing. Unfortunately it's so against the grain that I'm not even sure if this Raven has the same powers as the one we know.

4. New 52 Raven

I'll just start right off by saying that I absolutely hate this costume. Absolutely hate it. Unfortunately, there just aren't enough Ravens to go around, and I've been reading around on some forums about this costume being somewhat popular. For the sake of thinking like a game producer, I will appeal to an audience (and DC's delicate sensibilities). Really, though, this costume hardly captures Raven's essence at all. It looks more like an updated costume for Dove than anything Raven would wear... Oh well... Sometimes beggars really can't be choosers.

5. Red Raven

Normally I'm against counterpart characters being costumes, mostly because there can be so much done to make them unique characters (Owlman would be a totally different type of character from Batman, for example), but like I've been saying, Raven doesn't do much laundry. Red Raven here is a member of the Teen Tyrants, kind of an Earth-3 counterpart to the Teen Titans and a junior version of the Crime Syndicate. She seems to be partially inspired by Jynx, which is never a bad thing, because I absolutely love Animated Jynx. She's also minor enough that I'd be more than okay with reducing her merely to a costume cameo. Actually, I'd love it.

6. Elseworlds Raven #2

This is another Raven, presumably from a different issue of Elseworlds with a sense of style and attitude much more in line with the Raven we know and... appreciate (will, I love her). Despite bearing a resemblance to Raven's traditional wear, this one is just different enough that she could pull off being a unique costume.

7. Sin Raven

While this Raven's color scheme might not work well with the mechanics of her game play, a compromise could easily be made by giving her the gray skin tone. Otherwise she's pretty different looking from the traditional Ravens, with daddy's four eyes and a pair of pointed ears, not to mention the uncharacteristically long hair and Psylocke-inspired leather suit. This is what happens when Raven's fortitude is compromised by her siblings' demonic influence, and well, she's pretty perfectly suited for the Injustice battle arena.

8. Rachel Roth

I'm not sure how people would react to the iconic superheroes giving each other a beat down in their civilian attired, but in Raven's case it's kind of a novelty. Raven spends pretty much all of her time as Raven and is universally known as Raven. Raven is who she is. Rachel Roth, her secret identity, is more or less an obscure alias for when she feels some desire to expose herself to the nightmares of high school.

9. Raven - One Year Later

Raven's attired after the One Year Later event seems to be heavily inspired by the Bat Family. Finally deciding to cover up, this Raven's clothed limbs alone make her stand out from the rest of the Raven costumes. Personally, this is one of my favorite alternate attires for the character (consider, of course, that I see the animated incarnation as the true Raven), and I would absolutely love it if she showed up at some point as DLC.

10. Raven's Emotional Spectrum

Anybody who's anybody will know that Raven's powers are connected to just how much of a handle she has on her emotions at any given time. When Beast Boy and Cyborg accidentally travel into Raven's mind in the animated episode "Nevermore", they stumble across her hidden emotions which manifest in the form of multicolored Ravens. Of course there's also the White Raven, which symbolizes Raven's freedom from her father's influence.

I've included these all here under one heading as they're technically just palette swaps with only some minor differences (really, only Yellow Raven's glasses would change the model at all). I'm suggesting these more as an idea than anything I'd like to see perfectly translated (although I would definitely like the glasses). I wouldn't care if these were used to color over Raven's other costumes, or if they were all included in one pack as a Raven Color pack. It's just something cool to play with in my mind, and I'm always a fan of a variety of color options.