Fantasy Smash Bros.: Marill

Marill, sometimes incorrectly (but lovingly) referred to as Pikablu, was one of the first Generation II Pokémon to be shown prior to the games' release in 1999. He was also one of the Pokémon to appear in Melee out of a Pokéball, where he would perform the attack Tackle on opponents. I have redesignated this role to Poliwag, whose body type is very similar to Marill's. Marill also has the distinction of being the middle member of the most boringly named evolutionary lineage in the franchise, growing out of an Azurill and evolving into an Azumarill.

Not only was Marill one of the original posterboys for the Generation II games, but it showed up during the Orange Islands arc of the anime as the mascot Pokémon of Ash's new companion, Tracey Sketchit. While neither Marill nor Tracey were members of the primary cast for very long, Tracey's Marill does have the title of the only primary trainer Pokémon to lay an egg.

In addition to all this, I always had a special fondness for Pikablu and have wanted him to join the ranks of the Smash stars since before Melee was released, and I can even remember the feeling of disappointment as I flipped through the pages of my official strategy guide and found that Marill had been relegated to the overlooked slot of weak and pathetic Pokéball summon.

The Attacks

B + Up: Aqua Jet - Encasing himself like a liquid torpedo, Marill propels himself in pretty much any direction and pushes away all enemies in his path.

B Neutral: Bubble - Marill takes a deep breath then lets it all out with a barrage of beautiful, boucing bubbles. The bubbles will pop once they travel too far from Marill, and they don't deal much damage or knock-back. However, they can be aimed much like the fire blasts of Bowser and Charizard. Additionally, the bubbles are good defensively, as they can halt items and most projectiles. Unfortunately Marill can only blow bubbles for so long before he tires out.

B + Side: Covet - Somewhat uncharacteristic of the shy water-mouse, Marill hops up and slams into enemies. Though the attack is light and causes flinching as opposed to knock-back, it has a second function which opponents might find more annoying: it steals their items. The only exceptions to this rule are items which are no longer physically held by the player, such as Starmen.

B + Down: Defense Curl - When the going gets rough, the meek get curling. Marill rolls in the air and spins into a blur of solid blue, which can easily deflect any and all projectile attacks. Only the strongest of physical moves can damage the pipsquirt in this state.

Final Smash: Rain Dance - When Marill grabs the Smash Ball, the kiddy gloves are off! Normally Marill is a weaker player, but after performing the Rain Dance it starts to pour, and Marill loves his showers. Not only does the monsoon flood the stage and make it slippery for all other characters, but it invigorates Marill, doubling his attack strength and nearly tripling the amount of knock-back his attacks do. Combine this with the lowered traction and the inability to grab ledges (as they become rushing waterfalls) and you've got a dangerous situation for the few seconds before the storm clears.

The Stats

Size - 3/10

Weight - 2/10

Strength - 2/10

Speed - 8/10

Jump - 3/10

Size - Marill is recorded in the Pokédex as being one-foot four-inches, the exact same height as Pikachu. Super Smash Bros. uses a less distinct system of height, however, and in Melee Marill was absolutely tiny. He's been scaled up a bit, to about the height of Kirby and Jigglypuff, to play a more competitive game with the veterans.

Weight - According to the Pokédex, Marill ways a whopping eighteen pounds! Unfortunately that doesn't translate very well when your opponents are half-ton turtles and gorillas.

Strength - Marill's small size and lightweight contribute to it fitting quite comfortably in the "Powderpuff" class of fighters. Its attacks are typically light and do more in the way of causing enemies to flinch than to be knocked back.

Speed - Making up for its *ahem* shortcomings, Marill is a speedy little guy. This makes it a good idea to Covet items away from enemies and head for the hills, where you can take them out from afar.

Jump - Marill isn't exactly built for maneuvering on the land. While it might make up for this by being fast, it can't jump very high at all. Reaching higher platforms might prove to be a challenge for the little guy.

A Closer Look - While on the outset it would seem that Marill is almost certainly doomed in any competition without items, there are a few other things which need to be considered. Most importantly is the fact that while Marill's stats might be somewhat lacking he makes up for it in two ways. First and most notably, Marill's best stat in the Pokémon games is its Defense stat. This translates into Smash to make the game a little more balanced in Marill's favor by automatically cushioning the attacks against him: by a full 50%! Every attack done to Marill does half as much damage as it would against any other player. That ought to even things out a little bit!

Additionally, while Marill's attacks are typically light and fluffy, the Pokémon has brought out the big guns with its signature ability, Huge Power. This ability will sometimes activate when Marill is attacking, and will make his attacks deal twice as much damage and twice as much knock-back. A pretty sweet situation, all things considered.

The Color Palettes

Basic Palette - The primary palette is blue with a white belly. This color scheme is also used for when Marill is used on the Blue Team.

Pink Palette - This palette is inspired by an early concept artwork for Marill. This is also used when Marill is on the Red Team.

Green Palette - This palette is actually Shiny Marill. This is used when Marill is also on the Green Team.

Yellow Palette - This palette is inspired by Azumarill's shiny colors. It is also inspired by the nickname "Pikablu."

White Palette - This palette is a reversal of the basic color scheme, because it looks cool. It also has a more icy tone, which is appropriate since Marill can learn some ice attacks.

Multi-Color Palette - Inspired by a beach ball, which could have been one of Marill's inspirations.

The Victory Theme

Marill shares his victory theme with every other Pokémon character.

On the Topic of Clones in Super Smash Bros.

I'm going to go against the grain here, as I do on most things, by coming right out and saying it: I like clone characters. Now, I don't really have a fondness for perfect clones, and Brawl did a really great job of taking the Melee clones and making them more unique characters. To be totally honest, though, I really don't mind clones who utilize the same moves as other characters with changes in gameplay and effects that make them feel unique enough. Gannondorf, for example, originally ripped off Captain Falcon completely, but the weight and timing of the character and his attacks made playing as him a totally different experience. I don't particularly mind that. In fact, I encourage gameplay-tweaked clones if their inclusion will bolster the roster and longevity of the game without taking too much time away from the development of newer characters. If Raichu showed up as a heavier, stronger Pikachu, I'd be okay with it. Sure, more could be done with the character, but we'd have freakin' Raichu.

Eluding desperate fans since 1999.

However, I'm not entirely against Perfect Clones either. I would prefer it if they did not take up any spaces on the select screen, and Nintendo has largely been good about giving us winks and nudges with the costumes for some characters, as I talked about here. I'd encourage this kind of easter egg character, although with some additional changes. I think the Tekken franchise has handled perfect clones really well, and I'd like to Super Smash Bros. take a similar approach. Go all the way with the character models, record some new voices and announcer quotes, and change the display name. Maybe also give them a set of trophies for completing the Classic and Adventure Modes, and I think we'd be good. I would definitely love to see more Perfect Clones show up in that nature, being characters hidden within the costume set for more prominent characters.

Ultimately what I'm getting at are a few simple changes to things which could really expand a game a lot more and make it feel like a much more expansive experience. Even if Daisy plays exactly like Peach, just having her name and voice replacing the typical fare would break it up enough for me. And that's something I'd really like to see in the next Super Smash Bros. entry.

The Secret Characters of Super Smash Bros. Melee

Most people know that the number of unique playable fighters in Super Smash Bros. Melee is twenty-five, and that can be bumped to twenty-six if you count Sheik as her own fighter, but did you know there are actually more playable characters hidden in the game? I'm not going to try telling you that Toad can be unlocked by blasting all of the credits or that Sonic can be unlocked by defeating 100 guys in Cruel Melee, but there are a few super hidden characters who aren't exactly acknowledged by name or even trophy. Among the hundreds of alternate color palettes available to each fighter are a few more unique ones which go a long way toward representing whole different characters in their own right. Let's take a look at who you might have missed the first dozen times around!

#1: Princess Daisy

Princess Peach's royal rival is also available in a much more detailed manner than Wario above. While Wario is a simple change of outfit for the portly plumber, Princess Daisy's costume features all the finery worn by her royal flowerness. A pink crown and blooming petals sprout up to seal the deal, bringing classic Daisy to life in the stadiums of Super Smash Bros. Melee.

#'s2-6: Yoshi Rainbow

Yoshi is unique in the regard that each individual color is actually a unique member of the species. While the Red, Yellow, and Blue Yoshis don't have their unique powers from Super Mario World, they do accurately represent their representations in Yoshi's Island. Additionally, Pink and Light Blue Yoshi show up as well, again with green-egg-regardless-of-Yoshi-color motif. To really show off that these are the unique Yoshis of games past, each one has their respective and unique boot color from Nintendo 64's Yoshi's Story.

#7: Blood Falcon

Blood Falcon is the murderous clone of F-Zero's bounty hunting crusader, Captain Falcon. While both characters typically spend their time racing at mach speeds throughout the racetracks of the not-so-distant future, they do sometimes take time off to enjoy a little sparring with the rest of the Nintendo crew. Like with Princess Daisy above, Captain Falcon's alternate costume changes the smaller details of the character to perfectly represent Blood, even warping the falcon insignia into a grim skull. Although, the one on his helmet appears to be unchanged.

#8: Keeby

Keeby is a little-known second player character whose only credited role was as the P2 in Kirby's Dream Course. A member of Kirby's species, Keeby has appeared uncredited in a number of other Kirby titles, often as the P2. In a way he's the Luigi to Kirby's Mario. He shows up in Melee perfectly depicted as one of Kirby's alternate attires.

#9: Shiny Mewtwo

Like Yoshi, Pokémon are species with a multitude of varieties for each one. While Mewtwo as a species (although canonically there is only one, the gameplay says otherwise) are typically purple in color, their ultra rare shiny counterparts are green. Not missing an opportunity, Shiny Mewtwo shows up for the party.

If you aren't squeamish about calling clones unique characters, there's at least nine more fighters waiting for you in the depths of Super Smash Bros. Melee.

Fantasy Smash Bros.: Poliwag

For the first time in Smash history, Poliwag joins the fray! Not as a playable superstar, however. Instead Poliwag has the honor of being Fantasy Smash Bros.' first Pokéball Pokémon. Unfortunately poor Polly-Wolly isn't too astounding in any other way, because he's just here to fill in the spot of another Poképal. After being summoned, Poliwag dashes across the stage tapping enemies with whom he makes contact. Though he doesn't deal a terrible lot of damage, Poliwag's attacks can be annoying and foes who are caught at the wrong angles can be dragged right off the edge.

To put it simply for you Smashsperts out there, Poliwag is performing the same role that Marill did in Melee.

On Zelda Again

So I was thinking earlier about how people don't like that video games these days supposedly "hold your hand." How they have detailed tutorials that tell you specifically what to do. People seem to have misconstrued my desire for indicators with being neon signs and text saying "BOMB HERE!" I'm going to put this into simple, writing-related terms, though, to get across the problem with the original Zelda game.

"Show, don't tell."

We all know "Telling" is monotonous in games. It leads to a lack of exploration and freedom, and grows stale quickly.

What I want is for the game to "Show" what could be done. To indicate that something should be done at all.

The Legend of Zelda does neither. While being told all the information is too boring, being told none of the information is insanity. You need a balance to make a good game, not extremes. Thank you.

New Super Mario Bros. Fantasy

My mind flows thick with ideas! Too many ideas! So to satisfy my mind, I am creating another "Fantasy" series of posts, although this one will probably end considerably earlier than the Fantasy Smash Bros. series. This time the thoughtstorm is about how I would do an instalment in the ever-disappointing New Super Mario Bros. franchise. I might even cover all the ground in this one post, but let's not get ahead of ourselves!

To start us off, how about I set the mood with a little story?

One day not long after Mario and his friends rescued Princess Peach from the clutches of the evil King Koopa, Parakarry arrived with an urgent message. The letter was straight from Delfino Island! According to Delfino's Judge, Mario's evil cousin Wario had invaded the island and sought to profit from its natural resources! As a result, the beauty and sunshine which once made the island a beautiful paradise was all being sucked off and drowned out behind polluted smog. Shortly after the letter was received, Mario and his friends set off to clean up Wario's dastardly scheme.

So right away we can see that I'm breaking the mold! No Mushroom Kingdom, no rescuing the Princess, and I gave Parakarry a cameo. How much crazier am I going to get?

A lot.

The game will be built with single player in mind, as opposed to multiplayer. Although cooperative multiplayer will return as an option, it will not be the primary focus of the level design. As a result, we can afford to have the camera zoom in closer for much of the game, allowing a more detailed look at the characters and elements. The camera will adjust for more players, zooming out the further players are from each other.

Additionally, the game won't start out with scenic beauty. Instead of the typical shining sun and rolling hills of introduction stages usual for the Mario franchise, the plumber is dropped into a world of despair. Delfino Island is overcast and gray, and pulsing splots of pollution line the island. As the adventure progresses and more of Wario's factories are destroyed, more pollution will clear up. Because of this the game will get progressively cleaner and more beautiful, showing the player the actual results of their actions. Additionally, the early stages can be replayed in a "Clean" mode after the game has been cleared, showing off all the beauty that Delfino Island is typically known for.

Goombas and Koopas will find themselves replaced by their unusual Delfino counterparts. Struttin' Stus will replace Goombas as the primary grunt enemies, and the multiple pollution-based creatures, such as Polluted Piranha Plants, will make a return.

While the majority of the enemies are merely island inhabitants and not truly Wario's minions, the bosses whom lurk in each end-world factory are Wario's cohorts. And they aren't just random. We'll be seeing some combined efforts as characters from Super Mario Land 2, Wario's Woods, and WarioWare all return as the chiefs of their respective factories.

Waluigi also appears, taking a role very similar to that of Bowser Jr. Waluigi guards the Micro-Factories which mark the half-way point of each world. His battles will involved the power-up abilities available to Mario or his friends, and serve as an homage to the final confrontation with Wario at the end of Super Mario Land 2. Each world will showcase a different power-up, although the battles will all be about the same: stomp Waluigi three times to win. The only exception will be in the World One castle, where Waluigi is injured before the battle and attempts to stop the Marios while in a smaller form.

On the topic of Power-Ups, they're going to be a little different in this game. Of course the Super Mushroom, Mega Mushroom, and Mini Mushroom return, as do the Fire and Ice Flowers. However, a new power-up will appear in the form of FLUDD, who is found in special E. Gadd boxes. There are two FLUDD varieties available: spray FLUDD and hover FLUDD. Hover FLUDD will carry players high into the air on powerful jets of water, while spray FLUDD launches powerful blasts of water at enemies. Certain enemies can only be defeated by the FLUDD types, so using them is a strategic decision.

FLUDD is even more versatile than that, however. Unlike most items, which use the 1 button to perform their intended action, FLUDD controls differently. Because of this it's possible to use FLUDD simultaneously with other power-ups, and even while riding Yoshi (who can swim in this game.)

In addition to these power-ups and the Starman, the Metal Cap returns for the first time since Super Mario 64. Used primarily for exploration, the Metal Cap will transform Mario into Metal Mario, this time indefinitely. As compensation for this, Metal Mario can be damaged by polluted enemies and will revert back to his original form if damaged by them. Metal Mario is most useful under water, where he is resistant to the currents and ca explore areas that other forms would be unable to reach.

Aesthetically the game is a change from the shit-plastic look of recent New Super Mario Bros. titles, and a return to the sparkling physical design of Super Mario Sunshine. With bright colors and shimmering water, the game is sure to stand out from the crowd.

A change to the roster has also been made, for Adventure Mode, anyway. Mario and Luigi both return, of course, however the nameless Blue and Yellow Toads are being replaced by two more fleshed out characters. Toadette takes over the Player Three spot, showing off for the first time in ages, and rounding us off with player four will be the first three-dimesional appearance of Goombario, Mario's biggest fan! With no Goombas to confuse him with, I thought Goombario might be a cool character to show off for a change.

While these slots are all assigned at the beginning of the game, the ability for players to select whom they want to be can be unlocked after completing the game.

In addition to these characters, Blue Toad, Yellow Toad, Toad, and Toad's Player Two costume from Wario's Woods--Now using the name Bombino--are all unlockable bonus characters for the Bonus Mode of the game, a mode which features competitive multiplay minigames and races.

Yoshi returns as a helper character in much the same capacity as he has in the past, although this time he can swim and will accompany the player from one course to the next. However, Yoshi isn't the only helper to come along. This time Mario's old frenemy Donkey Kong has shown up to lend a helping hand. Donkey Kong's behavior is very similar to Yoshi, running off if he happens to take damage. Although bigger and worse at hopping than the dinosaur companion, Donkey Kong is the only character able to climb up vine walls and to swing from vine to vine without the need of jumping. Because of this, having DK on your side might work better for levels which require scaling cliffs. Donkey Kong is also able to carry large items which are too heavy for other characters to pick up, such as giant P-Switches. Neither DK or Yoshi can enter fortresses or ghost houses, however.

Waluigi Battles:

World One: Small Waluigi

World Two: Super Waluigi

World Three: Fire Waluigi

World Four: Ice Waluigi

World Five: Super Waluigi, but he can grab Starmen to become invincible.

World Six: Waluigi on a Purple Yoshi

World Seven: Metal Waluigi

World Eight: Mega Waluigi

World Bosses:

World One: The Three Little Pigheads

World Two: Sam Spook

World Three: Jimmy T.

World Four: Aqualea

World Five: Sven

World Six: Ashley & Red

World Seven: Mona

World Eight: Wario

Worlds:

World One: Delfino Plaza, takes place largely within the town across streets and rooftops.

World Two: This world is dark and spooky and takes place at night. Ghost enemies can be found outside.

World Three: This world takes place mostly in the scenic Bianco Hills.

World Four: The traditional water world. Shares elements with Ricco Harbor.

World Five: A mountainous region which is prone to mudslides!

World Six: A strange realm where Ashley brings the Marios into.

World Seven: An enormous submarine, headed by Mona.

World Eight: The most polluted of all the areas, completely covered in smog and with water too toxic to enter without the Metal Cap. Wario's Factor is hidden somewhere in the murk.

To Answer Your Curious Minds

Yes, I did think about how the cast of Scrubs would work out in Super Smash Bros., and yes, I did decide on who would be a fighter and who would be an assist trophy. I won't be listing any attacks or playstyles, but here's the general break-down of what I came up with:

Playable Characters (the names used represent their in-game names):

J.D.

Turk

Dr. Cox

Denise

Drew

Lucy

The Janitor

Assist Trophies:

Elliot (Could be used as a fighter considering her super strength, but her personality by the end of the series doesn't really reflect someone who would participate in a battle. However, considering Lucy's inclusion, I suppose Elliot could work out as well. Haven't really decided yet.)

Carla

Dr. Kelso
Sunny
Cole

Additionally:

The Todd could be a playable fighter and represent the majority of the supporting characters. As a joke character with actual gameplay, I imagine he'd play similarly to Captain Falcon with the majority of his kill moves being high fives.

Yes, this was fun.

Fantasy Smash Bros.: Zapper

Super Smash Bros. Melee reintroduced the Super Scope as a rapid-fire weapon in the Nintendo Universe, but the original light gun hasn't been seen since the days of old. While the Ray Gun's mechanics are perfectly suited for the Zapper, it has been instead decided to leave the generic ray pistol in place of a more historic video game artifact. Righting this wrong, it's Nathan DiYorio to the rescue!

The Zapper does function similarly to the Ray Gun, firing with the same frequency energy blasts which look similar to and travel at the same speeds as the rays. However, there are several primary differences to the use and function of the Zapper. For starts, the Zapper's zaps are more limited in number, with each gun only able to fire five shots before it's all used up. But second, and most notably, zaps do not damage enemies. Absolutely zero percent damage will be done to them.

Instead the gun's usefulness lies elsewhere. While the Ray Gun and Super Scope are both excellent weapons for sniping enemies from across the screen, the Zapper is more suitable up close or when in teams. When struck by a zap, an enemy is frozen. Not frozen by ice, but, well, zapped. Strangled in a surge of energy, completely immobile for a good long bit. Two or three seconds, about. This leaves ample opportunity for a player or their allies to deliver a mighty Smash Attack and send the point home.

Media Is What You Make It

There's a very interesting practice in media known as the "retcon" which alters history as you know it into something you basically don't know. For example, the Koopalings have always been considered Bowser's children. This was official, by the way. However, since their recent revival Mr. Miyamoto has gone on the record as stating that the Koopalings are not Bowser's children, but are simply Koopa fanatics who will do any and everything that Bowser orders them too.

The majority of fans just kind of said "Okay, whatever you want" and gave it no more thought. I, on the other hand, refuse to accept that the Koopalings are anything but Bowser's children. I was raised being told that they were his children, I'd written theories about the origins of his children, and I watched cartoons that told me they were his children. By all accounts the Koopalings are, in my mind, Bowser's children.

Well, all this got me thinking about something. What actually determines a character's canon? It would be really easy to argue that the canon is whatever the copyright holder says it is. After all, the work is technically their property--their intellectual property--so it's up to them to determine what happens with it. That's all well and good, but it actually isn't true. It's one thing if you want to take everything the copyright holder spews at face value, sure. You can do that, and I know a large majority of the people do. But, and here's the awesome thing about fiction, that's not the only accurate way to look at it.

At some point in the future these items will leave their copyright behind. They will become the material of the public domain, for public consumption and regurgitation in whatever capacity the public deems fit. To some extent, this process is accelerated and already under way by the enormous fan communities which create fan art and fan fiction. Now here's the thing about all of this: it means that this material will eventually enter a realm not all that different from what constitutes folklore. What is considered canon will be what the majority of the population believe about that particular subject. This is why vampires are now fancy Broker-inspired aristocrats and not rotting diseased corpses. The majority of the population has decided that vampires are well-spoken, attractive creatures with a terrible curse hanging over their shoulders. That is what is considered canon.

So the reality of the situation is that the copyright holder actually has no right to tell the public what is and is not true. This is the wonderful thing about ideas, which intellectual property is, no doubt. Ideas are things which should be shared and received, and which will then morph into whatever the audience decides. If the audience decides that the Koopalings are Bowser's children, then two hundred years from now when the Super Mario property is no longer under copyright, people will look back and read about these stories and maybe create their own stories just like we do with other ancient ideas, and they will consider the Koopalings to be Bowser's children.

I guess the moral here is not to get hung up on fiction simply because what someone chooses to believe about it doesn't jive well with what Nintendo or any other corporate master says is the truth about their property. There's something like 500 different versions of Snow White. Pick your favorite one, and help yourself to it. But don't force your understanding of that one story into other people's lives. If they want to take it willingly, that's fine. Don't force it.

Media really is whatever you make of it.

And while I'm on the topic of Snow White, as far as I'm concerned the stories about Snow White and the Seven Dwarves and Snow White and Rose Red feature the same Snow White character, and Rose Red is her princess sister who has been missing in action for far too long.

Fantasy Smash Bros.: Super Leaf (Item)

The Super Leaf was the second primary power-up introduced in the Super Mario Bros. franchise, and the selling point of the famous Super Mario Bros. 3. Grabbing this leaf allowed the Marios to gain raccoon tails, which allowed them to fly for reasons never explained! The Super Leaf has recently returned to prominance as an item which transforms Mario or Luigi into either their raccoon suits or the more powerful tanooki suits, depending on the game.

In the original title the Super Leaf gave players the ability to fly and an additional offensive ability in the form of a mean tail swipe which could quickly down enemies without the need to hop on them. In Fantasy Smash Bros. the Super Leaf would perform only one of the raccoon suit's many functions: a slow and controlled descent. Grabbing the Super Leaf (by tapping A infront of it, as the leaf will not be activated upon contact) will cause the player to sprout a pair of raccoon ears and a raccoon tail. While in this form players can tap the jump button repeatedly to perform a more controlled descent than that allowed by the parasol. Also unlike the parasol, the raccoon tail will damage enemies who happen to get too close, and can even spike foes who are hit in just the right spot.

Unlike many other items, the Super Leaf does not restrict the player's moveset in any way. It actually behaves much like the Bunny Hood, simply enhancing the combatant's abilities for a short time or until it is knocked off.

For characters with multiple jumps, the raccoon powers will only take effect after their other jumps have been utilized. The same is true of most character, only being useable after their secondary jumps have been utilized. In the case of Peach the descent may be utilized only after leaving her hover mode.

Fantasy Smash Bros.: Kuribo's Shoe

Following hotly on the heels of my Ice Flower post is another Fantasy Smash Bros. item, this time the ill-fated Kuribo's Shoe from Super Mario Bros. 3. The item appears only in one level, but it makes that level all the more memorable. While it has largely been relegated to the third act of the Super Mario Bros. franchise and its remakes, the Kuribo's Shoe was actually recently revisited, and this time properly translated as the Goomba's Shoe, in Paper Mario: Sticker Star, bringing some relevance to the item.

For those who aren't familiar with the Kuribo's Shoe (as an aside: "Kuribo" sounds way cooler than "Goomba" and adds a bit of mystique to the shoe. I grew up wondering who on Earth Kuribo was and if he'd ever show up in a future game. My inner child won't let that die.), it's an enormous green boot Mario can steal from Goombas which will protect him from spikes and other hazards which would otherwise cause him great harm. It was also shown to be quite powerful in its only appearance in The Adventures of Super Mario Bros. 3 animated series, easily able to stomp enemies flat.

Although with Super Koopa wearing the boot,
I imagine its stink is worse than its stomp.

In Super Smash Bros. the boot would be a bit of an oddity. Whilst wearing the shoe, players are unable to perform any regular or special attacks, taunts, grapples, or ground dodges. Nor are they capable of ledge grabbing (with a few exceptions, which will be noted below.) The only usual action which players can perform whilst wearing Kuribo's Shoe would be shielding, although aerial dodges will also work. The shoe makes up for this with its deadly stomp, which transforms the players jumps into gravitational battering rams. Enemies who happen to be in the air when stomped by the boot will find themselves immediately and mercilessly spiked, while enemies who are already on the ground will be buried or launched depending on their damage percent.

Characters which utilize wings to perform multiple jumps will find that they are now restricted merely to two jumps, but that their second jump is much higher than average. Additionally, Yoshi's fluttering ability and Peach's gliding ability will not work while wearing the shoe. Kirby, King Dedede, and Jigglypuff can all make full advantage of their puff jumps while wearing the boot.

Walking without jumping will cause the player to hop forward with a bit of a kicking motion. Enemies who are unfortunate enough to be caught in this kick will be knocked back a bit and given some damage. This makes approaching the Kurbio's Shoe without an attack strategy a dangerous proposition.

In most instances, utilizing a character's recovery move will release them from the boot, which will either fall off the screen or land for another player to use--unless it has been worn for a long period, in which case it will simply disappear. Exceptions to this rule are characters with tether recoveries, who will still dangle while wearing the boot. They cannot, however, properly edge-grab and will perform a small hop after yanking themselves upward with their tether. In the case of Zero Suit Samus, her down B move will flip her out of the boot. Olimar's standard special will pluck him from the stinky depths, and Ivysaur must be swapped out to escape the shoe.

While it might seem that the boot, at the cost of restriction, transforms players into impenetrable tanks, this is far from the truth. Players can be launched out of the boot just as they can drop any item when beaten severely, and players are also otherwise not invulnerable to attack. A player brandishing Kuribo's Shoe can be knocked about just as easily as before, and the shoe will not protect them from an edge-screen death, or any other unfortunate end. While the item is incredibly powerful and can turn the tides of battle, using it might not be the best choice for some players.

*There is, however, a couple of circumstances where a player would normally take damage that the boot shall protect them from. For starters, the bottom of the shoe is completely impenetrable. This does not necessarily mean that wearers cannot be attacked from below, as they can always be spun by another attack. It does, however, mean that they are capable of blocking all attacks on the bottom of their shoe, including Bob-ombs. They are also able to stand on spike hazards without taking damage. Additionally, a character who has been launched can become a human cannonball if the sole of their shoe happens to contact an enemy Smasher.

Fantasy Smash Bros.: Ice Flower

That's right! Fantasy Smash Bros. is back! I just can't help myself. It's like I live, breathe, and eat Super Smash Bros. Maybe that's why I suffer from some ghastly malnutrition. I'm not sure how many of these posts I'll be making. In the past they got very long and tiring, which is why I made so few of them. I do know that pretty much every second of every day gives me a brand new idea which could be added to the series, and I don't have the know-how to make a fan game! How better to exercise these ideas than to post them on the internet and allow myself the deluded fantasy of Sakurai knocking on my door and begging for my assistance?

Actually, there's probably a lot of healthier methods... Oh well. Grandeur away!

Today instead of a character or stage, which I think were the only things I had done in the past, I've got an item. Short and sweet descriptions on this one, which is just what I need to drag me out of the gloom for a bit without wearing myself down. (I don't know if I'll get to explaining this, but today has been a real downer for me without any particular reasons. Just one of those days where you wake up and the day already sucks and you're just in a crap mood.)

The Ice Flower first showed up in Super Mario Galaxy, and was probably one of the selling points of the game. Being a sort of Bizarro Fire Flower, the item instantly got fans riled up. Not to mention that it had been a staple of Super Mario fan games for years before its official debut. The Ice Flower truly is an antithesis to the Fire Flower, allowing Mario to freeze enemies in their tracks as opposed to frying them. Ever since its arrival on the scene, the Ice Flower has become a mainstay of the franchise. It returned in New! Super Mario Bros. Wii with the useful ability of freezing enemies into solid blocks which could be used as both platforms and weapons. While it doesn't quite have the range of the Fire Flower, the Ice Flower has proven itself as a unique and useful addition to the Marios' arsenal.

Like its firey cousin, the Ice Flower wouldn't perform exactly as it should in the Super Smash Bros. universe. Instead of transforming its user into an iceball pitching machine the Ice Flower, continuing to prove itself an opposing force to the Fire Flower, emits a powerful myst which freezes enemies on contact. The best way to go about describing would be to say that while the Fire Flower is comparable to Bowser and Charizard's fire breathing attacks, the Ice Flower would be comparable to the Ice Climbers' "Blizzard" attack. Although the Ice Climbers' attack is similar, the Ice Flower has a greater chance of leaving its target encased in ice.

That's it for the Ice Flower. To be honest, I think this item actually has a legitimate chance of showing up for the next Super Smash Bros. title. Since it's been a long time since my previous Fantasy Smash Bros. entry, you can follow the link here to get to the old hub page I used to use for the project. I don't think I'll be using it anymore, but it should be up to date as far as my previous post of this nature.

If there's one thing I love as much as playing Super Smash Bros. and talking about my own ideas, it's reading your ideas. What do you think of the Ice Flower concept? Do you have any item ideas of your own? If you do, post in the comments below. And if anyone out there has figured out a way to utilize the Super Flower from Super Mario Land as an item in any relevant capacity, I'd love to read about it.

Smashing on Thin Ice!

So I decided for the next part of my challenge that I should go through Super Smash Bros. Melee again, and it's a decision I'm not regretting at all, because unlike some games, this one doesn't suck. I started things off slow to get the hang of the physics and gameplay quirks after half a decade of Brawl, and let me tell you, there is definitely a relearning curve. However, I'm choosing to see this as an opportunity to become a better Smasher with more characters than the ones I mained before. I always had an interest in the Ice Climbers, so I decided to take them for a run around Classic Mode.

And that reminded me of the one thing that always drove me nuts about the Ice Climbers. Why on Earth can't I play as Nana without switching the palette colors? I could understand this a bit more in Melee, because Nintendo was still very much finding their footing in those early GameCube days, but why can't we do this in Brawl? It would have been as simple as pointing and clicking Nana's image on the character portrait, just like how you can choose between Zelda or Sheik, and choose which Pokemon to open with when you pick Pokemon Trainer (who should probably be renamed to Red while I'm at it.)

There is literally no reason not to give gamers the option of making Nana the lead Climber and Popo her support. This is one of those little touches I want to see in a future Super Smash Bros. game which I feel would make it a whole lot better. Just that little touch of freedom, and that extra boost for Nana.

Video Game Review: The Legend of Zelda (The Legend of Zelda: Collector's Edition)

It is with a heavy heart and grinding teeth that I admit to being unwilling to complete this game. Do take particular note of the fact that I said unwilling and not unable. I am sure that if I were willing to pour anymore energy into this title, I could have it finished in a short while. And there may be a time when I come back to it just to see it through to the end, but when I do it will be with strategy guides well in-hand.

This game is truly, without a doubt, a bad game. And that's something I don't admit lightly. I really wanted to like this game. On the surface, even, it's actually really fun. The puzzles are full of that simple joy which permeates the Zelda franchise, the majority of the enemies are fun to battle, and the bosses are all clever and enjoyable. Of particuliar note is Gohma, whose boss battles are loads of fun. Of course there are moments in this game which I will never forget, moments which make me want to go back and get to the end. Whenever my sword is strong enough to zap, whenever I conquer a previously terrifying foe, whenever I get a more powerful item. Watching the health meter grow steadily longer is always going to be in my memory, more so for this game than the others because you aren't going to survive on just three hearts.

And, of course, that Zelda jingle. You know the one.

The music is good. It's all the classic tunes any true gamer knows by heart, and they aren't held back by the limited chipset one little bit. The sounds are all good, nothing ear-splitting. Even the visuals are great, and you'll be able to identify pretty much anything on-screen with minimal effort. Although the panning animation between rooms was a little streinuous, and my eyes often ached after lengthy dungeons, that's just a small thing which can be overlooked.

Unfortunately, I can't overlook the maddening amount of terrible that is this game. Despite all of those wonderful, fun, memorable things--which are never going to leave my memory and even now are driving this game into the more positiviely associated regions of my brain--this game is truly, truly, without a doubt, awful. Any redeeming qualities the game may have, any amazing concepts, any shred of dignity is all wiped out by how awful it is. Any amount of fun you have in this game is a brief interlude of the torrential shitstorm that is The Legend of Zelda for the Nintendo Entertainment System.

I know I'm going to get a lot of flack for this saying. An elite army of highly-trained fans stroming the open gates of my comments section to defend the originator of their credo and the hero of their youth. Because no sane person could have a contrary opinion, unless, of course, they were a zombie to the Black Ops generation and couldn't look for depth in a game beyond shiny graphics. Only people from the true retro generation could ever "get" The Legend of Zelda.

Well I've got news for you. One: I was raised on an Atari 2600, a NES, and a Game Boy. Two: if a game can only be seen as good by the people of one generation because it was released in that generation, than it is all-around not a good game. This from the guy who plays Balloon Fight obsessively.

Now let me talk about why The Legend of Zelda is an awful game which you should avoid. To start off, you can't play this game without either a strategy guide or a complete absence of anything else to do at all. Ever. There are numerous dungeons and items which are so completely hidden that you would have to bomb and burn every pixel of the screen in order to find them, unless you had a book that told you exactly where they were. This kind of search isn't automatically terrible, but there are a few limitations that make it unbearable. Bombs, which are otherwise a delight, are very limited in number. You can get bomb wallet upgrades, much like in the later games, but these upgrades are only available in the aforementioned super hidden dungeons.

The other explorative hinderance is the candel, which you use to burn down some trees and bushes. Unfortunately for the majority of the game you have the blue candle, which can only be used once per screen. After that you have to leave and return to that screen to try burning down a different bush. By the time you get the red candle, which can cast fire multiple times on one screen and would have made this whole ordeal actually kind of fun and less tedious, you don't need to burn anymore bushes!

If they had wanted to keep the limited number of supplies, they should have generated just a couple more sprites. Ones for rocks and walls which could be bombed, and one for bushes which could be burned. This way these objects could at least stand out a little and maybe prevent players from taking forty hours of their lives wasting resources on unresponsive objects. Of course they went with both limited ammo and non-indicating objects. Bummer. And the worst part is that they could have fit these objects into the game because they managed to fit an entire second quest onto the cartridge which includes a completely new set of dungeons.

A lot of people like to claim that "Once you get the dungeon map, you know exactly where to bomb." In general, this is true. If there's a room adjacent to yours with no door, it's a safe assumption that you should blow the hell out of that wall. However, I can think of at least one instance in the first quest where the room isn't even on the map. Granted, it's a hidden room full of rupees, but that was still a very poor design choice.

In fact, the entire issue with this game is design choices. Ones which could have been good, or maybe look good on paper. A free-roaming overworld that lets the player decide in what order to tackle the dungeons? Awesomely good idea. In a way, it makes The Legend of Zelda the very first sandbox game. And it can feel really awesome to wander around Hyrule, checking out the scenery and finding the less ludicrous secrets. Hell, it's really satisfying to finally get a sword which can blow those damn river Zora to hell and back. Unfortunately this decision is made completely furiating by the decision to hide secrets without any indication that they're there and then limiting your supplies to the point that exploration is terrifying because you don't want to run out of bombs.

The environment isn't the only terrible thing about this game, either. Remember how earlier I was praising how much fun some of the enemies were, and the bosses in particuliar? Well, that was only some of them. Wizzrobes are not one of them. There are some enemies in this game which are simply ridiculously overpowered. Wizzrobes being just one of them. But, and here's the kicker, these enemies are ever fought on their own. You can find yourself facing up to eight of these bastards at once, and they will all diverge on you like the last slice of pizza. ot to mention that there are often statues lurking in the later dungeons which cannot be destroyed and will make a habit of shooting you in the back while you're fighting off the unbalanced asshats from hell.

Like with the free roaming map, limited supplies, and lack of indicating secrets, tough-as-nails enemies aren't a bad idea... On their own. They can make a game more challenging and more exciting, and more satisfying to the player. So go ahead, make a few baddies that will cause players to shiver in their boots. Fear's good once in a while. But for the love of Nayru, don't combine unbalanced enemies with completely random AI. If you want an enemy that can down you in four hits, give them a pattern. Throw the players a bone, for once! Instead what happens is you get enemies who can only be hurt from behind, and who randomly change directions and march right the fuck into you. Balls.

Poor design choices aren't the only thing that plagues The Legend of Zelda. Link's mechanics could have used a little touching up. There are times where he just slides wherever the fuck he wants to go, and in a game as damning as this one is, that usually leads right to a death. I also had some trouble with the shield. The shield is a great idea. As long as you aren't attacking, it can protect you from projectiles which are infront of you. You can even upgrade to a magic shield later on which protects you from everything that isn't spit-up by a boss. Unfortunately, the shield sometimes decides not to work. At all. It can be defending you just fine one second, but the next you're getting a pair of hearts shot right out of you. That's a very bad thing.

You know what I actually didn't have an issue with? The supposedly cryptic old men. I got basically everything they were trying to tell me. The only NPC encounter that bothered me was the Goriya whom you need to satisfy to proceed in the dungeon. All he says is "Grumble... Grumble..." which sounds like he's angry about something. Turns out, he's hungry, and he'll go away if you give him some meat. How the hell was I supposed to know that? A little editing there to make the hint more hungry and less pissed off probably would have helped.

In general, I think the biggest issue with this game is that the developers were all too close to see just how damning it was. Like a writer who can't see what parts of the book don't make sense because they have the whole world fleshed out in their head. It makes perfect sense... when you already know everything. This game needed some tigher and more dedicated playtesting. As it is, it is unplayable without a guide. I simply can't recommend a game that requires outside information to even play. Which makes me very sad, because this game had so much potential. It's really one best left simply to memory. I'll leave it there, reminding myself that it, at most, is only worthy of two stars.

Considering Quitting

I've noticed myself avoiding gaming this week because I know I have to finish The Legend of Zelda before I can actually delve into another game, but I really, really don't want to. I almost want to give up right now and call it quits. Actually, sitting here and writing about it, I'm solidifying that decision right now. We'll see... One thing's for sure: I do not want to do the Second Quest. This game just isn't worth the time it demands.

Scrubs in My Tubs!

So I know I should be a little more along with the Everything I Own Challenge, and I should probably be getting more reviews up here, but, well. Scrubs might have eaten my life. Don't you guys worry, though, because I'm almost done with Med School! Now, some of you might be wondering: "Well, Nathan, why aren't you reviewing Scrubs as you go? Weren't you planning on doing that with the other shows you watch?"

To the second question: yes. I intend on reviewing shows by episode, season, and finally by series. Unfortunately I have this thing. You see, when I'm really into a show I don't just watch an episode and wait for the next day. Hell no. I watch five or twenty episodes of that show all at once. On at least two occasions this past week I sat down one day and watched an entire season. Without stopping. Without breaks. Straight through. About twenty-four episodes, about eight hours of nothing but Scrubs.

This might seem like a good thing. After all, I'm efficient. I get these episodes done, then I've got twenty-four reviews to write, right? Plus one for the season as a whole? Nope, not so fast. The problem with the way my brain works is that I have to write a review for one thing before I even finish anything else. This has gotten in the way a few times, like when I'm watching a show and reading a short book in the same day or when I procrastinate a review so long that I don't allow myself to do anything else for a week at a time. These are really bummers.

And, y'know, I really get into some shows. I think shows (a term I hate, by the way. I do prefer to call things "film series" or "film serials". Even animation) are probably my favorite form of entertainment. I find them to be far superior to movies, even the really amazing movies like The Avengers. In a movie, you have two hours to get to know everything about a world and its characters. That's only two episodes of a series, and a whole season might be ten times as long. You can see where the advantages might be. Now if only we could get those kinds of Hollywood budgets on a series. Oh, dear future.

In any case, the last thing I want to do when I'm knee deep in the tension between J.D. and Elliot is pause my marathon and take an hour or two to right off a review. That's simply something I don't want to do. So I don't. And I don't plan on doing it that way. When and if I ever get around to actually reviewing film series, I've created a few rules for myself to help me along with it:

1: I must own the series unless it is something unavailable on home media. This narrows down the things I can review quite dramatically, which scares me a hell of a lot less. This also means that I've probably watched the series before, and won't mind taking intermissions to review the episodes.

2: I must have already watched the series. As mentioned above, if I have already seen the series I will probably be less pissy about taking an intermission or watching it all more slowly.

With Scrubs I don't yet meet either one of these requirements. The first one because I've been doing the deed with YouTube, and the second one because, well, I'm not done yeat.

Although technically I consider the ninth season its own show, because that's what it was intended to be. Just because some execs. want me to believe otherwise doesn't mean I'm going to, and from what I've seen this sentiment is common across the Scrubs fanbase. As far as I'm concerned, the ninth season is actually the first season of a separate, but related, show known as Scrubs: Med School. It's not a very good show so far.

There you have it. The real reason for why I suck so hard at getting anything at all done ever.

Anime is Not a Medium!

There are almost no words I hate more than "That's not an anime!" (actually, there are many words I hate more, but I had to sound tough!) Those four little words have been the bane of many conversations. It's terrible to be having a pleasant discussion, all deep and what-not, when some person you weren't even talking to--you know the type. The one wearing Edward Elric's jacket, the Sharingan contact lenses, and the bleached hair with a bizarre array of candy-pop colors--butts in and shouts: "AVATAR ISN'T AN ANIME!"

Really now?

So if googly eyes and action-blur don't make an anime, what does? "Well, it has to be from Japan," they will say. "If it wasn't made in Japan, then it isn't anime."

Now, I know this won't be true for anybody else out there, because the only people who find this post will be the weeaboos searching through Google, but the idea that only Japan can produce anime is patently ridiculous. An artistic medium is not defined by the country in which it is crafted. Novelettes only come from Italy, right? Otherwise they're just stories? No. No, absolutely no. (Note: I'm picking on novelettes because I once read that they were highly popular Italy.)

I ask: "Well, what other than Japan makes a specific show considered an anime?" Typically the response is: "Well, you know. They're anime." The implication here is that all anime look alike.

Totally looks like Naruto and not The Powerpuff Girls.

Some people won't consider shows like Panty and Stocking with Garterbelt to be an anime, but the vast majority of fans will simply because it came out of Japan. I'm starting to get the feeling that the idea of anime being the exclusive realm of Japanese studios is rooted more deeply in some kind of national worship than it is anything else. These people can't accept the concept of anime being created outside of Japan, because only the perfect and beautiful island nation can create real art. You'd think this kind of worship must come from Japan itself, right? Surely the Japanese distinguish between what is and is not an anime?

No. Because in Japanese the term "anime" means "animation" and refers to literally every single form of moving-pictures media. Shrek is an anime, The Looney Tunes is an anime, InuYasha is, of course, an anime, and Family Guy is an anime. There is no distinction between a cartoon and an anime. And what I really love is that, after all of this, the response is:

"Well, anime has this feel that cartoons don't have."

No. No, no, no. While it's true that cartoons which come out of Japan definitely have a particular aesthetic and unique set of story tropes and methods, this does not make them a completely different medium. That unique feeling the weeaboos want to believe separate anime from cartoons is the influence of the culture, and culture is completely separate from medium.

So while it is fair that, as part of American culture we designate all Japanese cartoons as "anime", don't jump down peoples' throats for calling an anime a cartoon or a cartoon an anime. Because, really, they're right and you're crazy.

By Today's Standards

As the next part in my Everything I Own Challenge I decided to pick up the first The Legend of Zelda game, since the Super Mario Land games put me in a classic mood and I haven't ever gotten beyond the first few screens of this game. Let me just say, this game is pretty awful. It's not even the good kind of awful where everything is downright bad, nope. The Legend of Zelda is the terrible kind of awful where it could have been really good if only one of the negative aspects had simply been smoothed out.

More about that when I get to the review, though (I still have to complete the last four dungeons and the Second Quest before this game is finished). This post is less about the game, and more about something I kept seeing over and over while searching for people who shared my demonic opinion of the game. Every forum I visited, every conversation I read, there were more people bawling about how it's not fair to compare a game from the 80's to anything even remotely modern or to hold it to the same standards you hold other games. The technology simply wasn't good enough yet to make those games, so it isn't fair. It isn't! It isn't!

Give me a break. I've been called a many supposedly scornful things, and "Nostalgia Fag" is one of the most frequent. But even I, in all of my nostalgic fagginess, understand that this argument is a load of bull. There is literally no reason why you can't compare modern games and classic games on the same standard scale, especially when the core for that scale is personal entertainment. There are plenty of old games that stand up beautifully still, and there are plenty of new games that blow. The reverse of that is true, as well, and it isn't because the technology was oh-so-limited for those old games. I just got through praising the hell out of both Super Mario Land titles, and while I didn't outright say "These games are miles better than New! Super Mario Bros. Wii", they are. That game sucks.

Well, the first The Legend of Zelda is awful, too. And it definitely isn't because of technological limitations. It's because of poor design decisions.

Let's look at other mediums for a second. Do we say that novels written decades ago cannot stand on the same scale as novels written today? Well I hope not, because that's simply ludicrous. Do we say that about music? No. Do we say that about movies? Well... yeah, but we really shouldn't. The era and limitations of that era should not impact your opinion of the final product. The only two questions you should ask yourself about a piece of media are: "Did you like it?" and "How come?"

That's all there is to it. I don't care if the game was revolutionary for its time, because three years later it was an outdone train wreck. I can definitely respect what it did for its franchise, for its company, and for its industry without holding it up as the masterpiece that it isn't. And that's the thing. A lot of people want to conflate the legacy of the work with the quality of the work. Well, that's simply wrong. When I ask somebody whether a game is good or not, I don't want to hear the words "Not by today's standards" or "It was good for its time." That doesn't matter to me, and that doesn't matter to the work. I want to hear "Yes" or "No".

History determines the worth of all things. If your thing can only be described as "good" within the context of a brief period of years as opposed to the whole of everything you have ever experienced, it isn't worth the praise you want to give it.

Video Game Review: Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Coins

Super Mario Land 2 is the equally-odd follow-up to 1989's Super Mario Land, a game which I hold dear to my heart and reviewed not long ago. While the original Super Mario Land was more of an aesthetic departure from the majority of the series, even including a pair of levels which were downright in the wrong genre, its younger brother takes a step back towards the traditional Mario style of visuals and play while also being damn sure to retain the weirdness from its predecessor. Mario will travel through six lands to get back to his castle, including a short trip into outer space and a dizzying climb through a clockwork tower that looks just like him.

The most noticeable change between Super Mario Land and Super Mario Land 2 is visually. Super Mario Land was built in the very early days of the Game Boy system, and the developers didn't quite have a handle on what the device could do. As such, the game looks very simplistic, much like early NES games. By contrast, Super Mario Land 2 more greatly resembles Super Mario Bros. 3, having defined outlines and shapes for each object and character and devoting more of the screen to characters. The result is a game which is much easier on the eyes and does an exemplary job of portraying beautiful backdrops and scenarios with depth utilizing a limited resource pool.

I'll actually take a moment there to talk about just the environments, because they really look awesome. Despite being limited by the amount of colors and shades which can be used, the environments are all spectacular. Particularly there are a couple of tropical island themed levels which are simply superb, with sparkling water backdrops which I can only describe as "delicious" because they make me thirst for a cool pitcher of liquid life on a sticky summer day. Now, not only do the environments look beautiful but there's a whole bunch of unique ones that really help this game stand out. You've got your typical water world, but in addition to the deep sea swimming stage, you get to navigate through a sinking submarine. You can travel to space and don an astronaut outfit and, more importantly, bounce around in reduced an zero gravity environments, both of which are a blast. Quick extra about Space Zone: one of the stages is a reference to the Balloon Trip mode featured on Balloon Fight, which I got a real kick out of.

Of course there are other bizarre realms, such as the Macro Zone where Mario is tiny and must travel around a giant house. As mentioned before, the Mario Zone, which is a giant Mario wind-up toy (at the end of which lurk the Three Little Pigs for whatever reason.) The stages are all just something different and, especially when compared to the recent string of Mario games which have all been hesitant to try anything new, stand out from the rest of the franchise.

Like the previous Super Mario Land title there are unique bosses for each world. This time, though, a lot more care has been put into characterizing these bosses and making each confrontation as fun as possible. A few of them are pretty difficult at first, but once you get a handle of the attack patterns it becomes a fun game of rhythm and motion. The bosses are also really satisfying to stomp, and I'm not quite sure why. It could be because of how big and animated they are, but jumping on their noggin just makes one overcome with joy.

Gameplay is greatly expanded from the original Super Mario Land and almost as diverse as Super Mario World. Not only can Mario run and jump in traditional manner, but the spin jump move makes a return, allowing Mario to plow through blocks beneath his feet and access hidden areas. Additionally he has two power-up suits. The fireball suit makes a return, although because of the limited colors the Game Boy could display is represented by an Indian-styled feather rising from Mario's cap. While I was disappointed by the fireball suit replacing the superball suit from Super Mario Land, the developers made up for this by including a new set of blocks which can only be destroyed by fireballs. This means more exploration and more reasons to go back to previous levels.

This game also introduces the rabbit suit, which functions a lot like the raccoon suit from Super Mario Bros. 3. Instead of actual flight, however, the rabbit suit allows you a more controlled descent by tapping the jump button. I'm not quite sure on this, but it also seemed like the suit allowed Mario to jump higher, which helped him reach a few otherwise difficult areas. Unfortunately the rabbit suit has one major drawback: you can't spin jump while wearing it. I'm not quite sure why they decided to do that, but it was a major pain in the ass on more than one occasion.

The enemies were all something special, and I found myself facing foes of all sorts from gigantic ants and stag beetles to Jason Voorhees-inspired Goombas. I noticed at least one enemy, a bee, which I recognized as having later appeared in the Wario Land series. That was kind of cool, because I always like to see where things originated and I hadn't really noticed the connections before. I mean, I knew Wario Land was actually Super Mario Land 3 and that the entire Wario franchise spun-off from these two games, but I had always thought the Wario games were a little more different. It just always seemed like there wasn't much overlap with the worlds Wario explored and the worlds Mario travelled, so it was cool for me to see that the connections were a little tighter than I'd had thought.

Game overs are handled a little differently in this game than in most. This is probably a result of the introduction of a save feature. See, save features have kind of made game overs a redundant concept. They've been reduced to an aggravating three seconds of black screen before you boot back in almost exactly where you were before. In the old days it used to be that if you got a game over, that was it. You're back at the start of the game, buddy. This game is over. This is okay when games only take an hour or two to crash through, but as games started requiring more time and effort... well, can you imagine playing Tales of Symphonia for forty hours only to be launched back to the beginning of disc one because you couldn't beat down a boss? Painful, isn't it?

Super Mario Land 2 overcame the issue of saves making it too-easy and the classic concept of a game over making it too difficult by still making a game over a severe punishment. You see, when Mario loses all of his lives he loses any of the golden coins he's collected as well. While there isn't usually a way to challenge boss enemies once they've been defeated, you'll have to do just that after a game over to reclaim your precious coins. And trust me, fighting Tatanga again any time soon is not on my to-do list.

Unfortunately, not everything about this game was good. I can't remember a single song from the soundtrack for the life of me. Unlike Super Mario Land which has a pretty memorable score, Super Mario Land 2 suffers from a few fitting yet bland tracks. It was also a victim of the same physics bugs which plagued the original game, such as the sudden and unpredictable loss of momentum mid-jump and slippery controls leading to less than precise landings. These bugs, while annoying, aren't a huge issue for the majority of the game. In the last stage, however, they're going to lead to your death far more frequently than they ever should.

The last stage of the game, the Wario-occupied Mario's Castle, is an absurdly difficult stage which would have been much better were it not for the physics bugs. Compared to the rest of the game, and even to the final confrontation with Wario, this stage is Hard Mode on crack. However, it is pretty clever with a lot of its traps, and with patience and good timing a player can navigate the narrow halls without too much hassle. It's also pretty cool to see the final castle furnished with Mario-themed decor, proving that the plumber is just as narcissistic as those he regularly battles.

The final confrontation with Wario is a really cool battle. It would have been a lot more fun without having to worry about doing the entire castle over if I had lost, but it was still a really awesome battle. Mario must face off against his callous cousin in a three-phase match. During each phase Wario obtains a new power-up, truly filling the role of the evil doppleganger. In the first round Wario is armed only with a Super Mushroom, which has made him tremendous in size. After this he upgrades to the rabbit suit, and finally a duel of flaming fingers as he grabs hold of a fire flower. Despite being utterly predictable, this is one of the cooler match-ups in Mario history, and not experiencing it is a disservice.

I was at first going to give this game a lower score, because I wasn't too impressed with it during the playthrough. I was never bored, which is a good thing, and the game isn't bad. It just didn't wow me as much as I had expected, especially with two decades of hype behind it. But now that it's all over I can feel myself itching to pick it up again. Hell, I've had to stop writing this very review several times just to satisfy my desire to blast through a level or two. Just to feel what it's like to stomp a boss again, or just land squarely on a platform. With these feeling so overpowering, I can't give this game a lower score. It doesn't deserve it.

Super Mario Land 2 comes highly recommended with a final score of eight out of ten.